Last night, I shared more details with my husband about Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness —-how Black Belt Wisdom is tied to White Belt Wilderness, 7 Stones and more. I was spiritually exhausted and a pinch teary-eyed over reaching the point where must write “ About the Author”.

I begged God for clarity and direction from a painful place last night. I cried while telling Mark about how He woke me to read “Give the Garden Away” a few nights ago—something He had me write more than two months ago. This has happened countless times since May 8, 2025.

To know, unequivocally, the Master of the Universe gave me this exact path and opportunity to serve—-well, it humbles me to tears.

That said, I struggle deeply with finding the balance of how much to share in an “About the Author”. I struggle with the tone of how I share it. In MyGodRoom, I can just be the hot mess I am without any reservation.

Why? Because the Lord directed every step of MyGodRoom. He brought me here to “write it down” for His Good Purposes. It’s okay that I don’t have all the answers, because I know The One who does. This has been a very safe place for me to grow closer and closer with Jesus.

Truth? I’m just a kid who loves Jesus more than anything else and my hearts desire is to please my Heavenly Father. Obedience isn’t always pretty, that’s for sure. And, He is directing me to begin sharing “MyGodRoom” type posts in the Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness.

As much as it makes perfect sense—-it feels like I am walking in naked to an open mat session with the entire world.

As if beginning jiu-jitsu at nearly 58 wasn’t enough of a challenge. 🤣. Still, I know that is precisely how He is placing the stones for me. I love that he is having my husband leave stones, too. Mark even offered to write a forward “about me”.

As I told Mark, the only thing truly special about me is how much God loves me—-He shows up and shows off, often. And, my husband was on point confirming it’s really the only special thing about any of us.

When He gives me the words, they will be written, period. He is the author of salvation and everything else.

This morning, I was nudged to flip before we ever left for church. I first prayed for two customers who both have babies named Ezra. But, it stood out to me that despite the other highly marked pages on Ezra—-He brought me to Ezra 8-9. Unmarked pages. Zero notes.

The nutshell for me is that Ezra 8 is all about training, discipline and alignment—-pure obedience Ezra 9 is about Holy Grief and repentance. Both pages were meant for me before we ever arrived at Creekmont Church.

We headed to church fully expecting to continue deep-diving into the Sermon on the Mount. We have literally been in Matthew every single Sunday since we began attending Creekmont.

Our first visit was September 21. Reading back through our first visit – HERE– brought Mark and I back to our beginning with them just over three months ago.

Before the service even began, Waymaker was playing softly in the background. Then Holy Forever. I was undone before the first word was preached—already humbled, already listening. Sometimes the heart knows before the mind catches up.

Singing Blessed Assurance—- knowing from the program we were NOT going to be in Matthew—-hit different. I have TRULY known for ten years that I am His and He is Mine. Today, it hit deeper still. 💜✝️💜

And then the message.

1 Timothy 4:7: train yourself to be godly. Not try. Train. The difference matters.

The words landed with weight. You can’t download Godliness. There are no spiritual shortcuts. Growth is promised—but it is not immediate.

Spiritual muscles must be trained, too!

Faith is a walk.

Faith is a race.

Faith is daily discipline.

One line in particular kept echoing:

Are you practicing repentance, or postponing it? That question stayed with me. So did the reminder that slow progress is not failure. Anyone who has trained—really trained—knows that truth in their bones.

The path of the righteous, Proverbs says, is like the morning light—shining brighter and brighter until full day. Not instant light. Progressive light. Rise and shine doesn’t mean rush. It means keep showing up.

What struck me most was obedience. That word has been reigning in my life since May 8th, and hearing it named again—clearly, boldly—felt like confirmation rather than correction. Habit, after all, is a God-given gift. And by His grace, my habits have changed.

After church, we shared lunch with our pastor and his wife. It tickled me Shad used the expression , “not a doctor and I don’t play a doctor on TV”. It’s something I have said for decades. What moved me most was his story about moths which led him to change up the message today. #ISWYDT 💜💜

When we finally got home, I slept for nearly three hours. That’s how I know something real happened. My spirit needed time to digest what my heart had received.

Spiritual muscle takes time to develop. It requires “PIE”- perspective, intention and execution. Good Lord, I’ve had pie for three years and lost 7 stones, 98 pounds. 🤗

As captured on video in July 2024—a little motion does a lot for the ocean. 🤣🤣

I think I was struggling last night because God wanted to show me—one more time—that He is paying attention. That He is faithful. That training looks a lot like obedience, repeated daily, in small unseen ways.

Today felt personal. Not because it was only for me—but because it reminded me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Still training.

Still walking.

Still rising.

Thank you, Jesus, for every fiber of strength and conviction you provide. Thank you for EVERYTHING. Please heal Hester’s niece , your way and in your timing. Please answer Shad’s prayer of 15 years- whatever it may be. Forgive me for failing to ask “their story” at lunch, if I was suppose to ask. Thank you for weighing the silver and the gold in Ezra and for reminding me so beautifully how just your scales remain. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. I love you even more- MOLA.