I am struggling.  People do not control us completely.  However, we all have people in our lives capable of exerting influence which resembles control.   People impact every decision in this world in one way or the other.  Still, I know this world is not the most important.

We must cancel our Italy trip and it’s not about money. We aren’t financially rich, but we have saved over half a million AMEX points through work and a ten- day trip would be super cheap. We can’t plan to leave the country for at least another two years. Maybe we will make it for Mark’s 50th Birthday, since we miss mine. Lord, please remove any spirit of fear and restore our household to the hope in your promises.

***REDACTED DETAILS***   I can’t make it “all better”, but I can do small things to improve the overall impact. Hopefully, I will be close to the financial restitution number put on my heart before our seven -year anniversary. What he has given our kids is priceless and it won’t surprise me if God blesses the entire situation. Lord, thank you for always showing up when we most need it, according to your will and not our own.

I do encourage time with his friends, “Guy Trips”, mission work and anything else possible. Still, it’s not the same as being able to travel with me. We have lost many freedoms the past 8 months with this challenging situation. Thank God, this frustration rarely shows on his face. It’s hard to hide the hurt on mine. ***REDACTED*** I know that is exhausting, as well.

Truth be told, my husband has loved my kids better the past seven years than I could ever put into words.  He is a spiritual leader, and his actions overflow to every facet of daily life. One on one conversations, intentional activities, being present, thoughtful and blessed with the humor which able to bring levity to any situation. My kids have said the same many times the past few years. Good grief, even my ex-husband has talked about what a good guy Mark is and is grateful to have him in our kids’ lives.

Father God, thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful spouse. Please help me be an even better wife and partner.

Mark is always supportive and willing to serve or help with whatever any of us need.  We were bound on our first date because our spirits are aligned with similar traits.  We have literally “felt married” since our second date.

Satan, get behind us, you are not welcome in our home, in our lives or in our spirit. In Jesus’ name, I pray any ground you have touched in our lives will be restored to Our King of Kings. I ask all of this by the blood of our precious savior, Christ Jesus. Amen.