Of the “Top 40” God moments, the first one I recall vividly is a nightmare maybe a month before I celebrated my seventh birthday. It was mere weeks before Christmas, December 1974. As I am typing this out, I am remembering my own children at six and seven years old. I know how deeply they both felt everything at that age, too. Thank you, Lord, for giving my children the gifts of intelligence, humor and empathy!

We were stationed at three different military bases during our seven years in Germany. In 1975-1976, we were in Hanau. I remember the “cantina” where the kids hung out, movie theatre (25 cents!) and getting a massive blood blister on the playground.  I recall how teachers would give kids a workbook and textbook to work through at their own pace. I remember my favorite outfit was navy blue pants and a vest with leaves and such embroidered on the pant legs and vest face. Give me a job to do and I still tend to attack it.  By the time we returned to the USA, I tested out several grades above others my age. 

Going down memory lane reminds me of the best strawberries of my life, the schwimmbad (public swimming pool), Christmas markets and how similar I was (and remain) to my own daughter. Overall, the idyllic lifestyle puts the December 1974 nightmare in different perspective. It was the best part of my childhood, bar none. Yet, this nightmare creeped into my mind. This is a school photo from September 1975.

When I wrote SEEK SUNSHINE, I referenced telling my parents something they could understand instead of what I was really feeling. The very first memory of lying to my parents was lying to my mother when she came into my room in the middle of the night. I told her I was crying because I did not feel well. The truth was graphic, dark and not in my wheelhouse at that age to share. 

In simplest terms, you learn overseas that generations often live in the same home on different floors. The nightmare I had was a powerful fire which engulfed a three-story home with my entire family in it. To think of it now, it still makes me gasp a pinch. I could feel the people I love struggle to breathe as they succumbed to the fire. It absolutely stayed with me.

Six months later, I completed the Catechism classes. My sister, Teresa and I experienced our First Communion on May 11,1975.  Forty years later, I would experience full immersion baptism on May 3,2015.Thank you, Lord, for showing me the seasons you have designed in my life.

I realize now is that God used that nightmare for good, just like everything else. My entire life, I have always been hyper-aware of death. Love NOW. Give NOW. Do it NOW. That internal sense of urgency was placed there for a much a higher purpose than I can fathom. To me, it is beautiful.