In Sunday’s Journey to Journey post, I briefly mentioned being propositioned while out of town. I was spirit-led to be intentional and restrained in what I shared at that time. This happened Saturday evening, and the Lord had me wait until Monday morning to speak about it with my earthly husband.
It is highly unusual for Him to keep me silent on something this significant. Obedience required silence from the world and for me to keep my mouth shut. For me, that’s a tough nut to crack and the Master Nut Cracker delivered.
Before sharing the details, I thank God for His Word—especially Scripture that repeatedly warns us to take heed: Deuteronomy 4:9; 27:9; Deuteronomy 4 & 12; Matthew 7:24–27; 1 Corinthians 10:12; Luke 8:18; Hebrews 2:1; James 1:22; and 1 Samuel 20:10.
I love, love, LOVE that expression in His Word—and the Hebrew depth behind “take heed,” especially throughout Deuteronomy.
The Lord had me take heed of this situation and wait for His answer. Because others may read this, please receive it as a warning: search His Word, listen carefully, and honor your covenants—whatever they may be. Especially if you are like me, a mama bear who would die protecting her cubs and her covenants.
The restraint required to reduce this incident to its essentials is not in my natural wheelhouse. All credit goes to God.
When He nudges me to speak or write, obedience is the only response. This is being shared in My God Room out of obedience alone. The nudge to treat this like a police report means something I don’t yet fully understand. Obedience isn’t always pretty.
I was dining alone at the bar of an upscale restaurant Saturday evening. I was not dolled up by any stretch of the imagination, not that it should matter. I was dressed casually in my Esther 4:14 T-shirt and rust-colored cotton pants. I was finishing a conversation with a lovely couple on my left before Rob sat down to my immediate right.
Initially, the conversation was light, appropriate and enjoyable. We discussed being foodies, chatted about our respective businesses and sports. Rob ordered the same entree I was enjoying and he prayed over his food before eating. He confirmed he was Catholic and shared about his Haitian roots. We shared some Godversation before discussing our personal lives.
He said he was not in a relationship because he was building his business. I shared how God gave my husband the easiest anniversary date and directed the business we have built together. He laughed when I suggested marriage can bless building anything together. When he shared a Facebook photo of him with Ravens QB Lamar Jackson, my response was to share a Facebook photo of my family wearing Dallas Cowboy jerseys.
In hindsight, his comments about the photo make my stomach churn. For example, Rob the Wolf is built like an NFL running back and he commented extensively of my tiny frame. While I am not often called “tiny”, it’s fair to point out the physical difference in our sizes. Rob has more than one hundred pounds on me. Still, when he asked me to add him on Facebook, I didn’t think much of it. I add friends to Facebook in many of my travels.
As the conversation continued, Rob became increasingly aggressive in pursuing something physical. He flirted by talking about his skilled hands and reminding me he was a doctor. I reminded him the Master Physician has my back and everything else. I utilized humor to deflect his advances several times. I reminded him more than once that I am old enough to be his mother.
I clearly stated my covenants with God and my husband are not negotiable. Repeatedly.
He persisted. More than once, he placed his hand on my right thigh. Each time, my spirit became more unsettled. It was a visceral and physical response to his refusal to accept “no means no”.
This situation was and remains deeper than a “big strong man against a physically weaker female”. Following Jesus means we must identify the wolves on our path. There are big, bad wolves running rampant in the world. I knew at this point I was sitting next to one.
I sought to leave and was conscientious about being a solo traveler. Safety matters. I used the ladies’ room as a prayer closet—-something my husband knows is my habit. When I returned, Rob was gone. The bartender told me he had left while I was away.
I praised God in that moment and returned to my hotel with gratitude in my heart.
I had forgotten we were now Facebook friends.
Later that evening, Rob messaged me asking where I went and saying he didn’t get to say goodbye. I responded politely. After that, I looked at his profile and learned he had lied—he was engaged.
When another message came through roughly an hour later, I did not respond.
I could not respond. It would have been a sin for me to respond when God was telling me to wait.
I needed a solid 36 hours of prayer before speaking to anyone other than God. For me, the entire situation felt like dynamite—something that had to be handled carefully to avoid further harm. I still don’t have the answer for “if, how or when” to share with his betrothed.
I felt spiritually mauled by the entire experience.
Monday morning, I shared the heart of the issue with my husband. He understood why I had to wait to discuss the details. He knows my relationship with Jesus better than anyone else on earth. Thank heavens, we are in agreement to wait on the Spirit leading us with regard to the fiancé. We don’t know what we don’t know. As we were talking, the hotel phone rang. We were both jarred by the volume of the ringtone.
It was the Hilton employee telling me they needed me to change rooms. I had less than an hour to shower, pack and get out of the room. Ultimately, I ended up changing hotels altogether.
In the midst of that earthly chaos, peace descended.
Before removing Rob from my friends list, the Holy Spirit compelled me to send him the following message. What follows is copied exactly as sent, without edits or revisions. The sole exception is marking X’s for her name.
Rob,
I had nothing to say yesterday, I simply could not reply to your 11 pm message. Quickly, I saw you have a beautiful fiancé —- it made me spiritually sick to consider your repeated behavior from Saturday night . Praise the Lord for getting me to a great church yesterday and restoring some of my peace.
The balance of my peace will only return after I speak some firm truths to you. I have spent most of the past 36 hours in prayer. Once I speak what He has placed on my heart, I will be deleting you from my friends list.
I am saying these things as a sister in Christ and pray you receive them as such.
It is one thing for a man to flirt and proposition—-totally different when there is a covenant involved. I was ultra clear with you—- my covenant with my husband will not be broken. My covenant with the Lord will not be broken, either. Repeatedly, you pursued and placed your hands on my thigh and that is NOT acceptable behavior for any person without understanding and permission.
You told me you had no girlfriend and acted as if marriage was not part of your foreseeable future. What a blasphemous lie! You are old enough to know better and do better.
I pray it’s not your habit to put your hands on the thighs of strangers repeatedly. But, I have a feeling I was not the first and will not be the last. You think you are too smart to get caught and that is a lie straight from the pits of Hell.
I want to encourage you to pray about the promises you have already made to God, XXXXXX and yourself. Ask yourself why you acted as you did and repent accordingly. Not for my sake, but for your own.
That’s the most loving thing I can express before “goodbye”. I will be praying for you both.
While I have prayerfully removed any details which could identify Rob the Wolf to the world, they are written in a private post for posterity.
As we navigate anything else, we will wait on the Lord to direct any steps. If my betrothed were a wolf in sheep’s clothing, I would be grateful to hear the truth. It does not mean she will receive the truth well.
She could know his character or even share in it. They could have an open relationship or agreements. There is much I do not know.
That said, I don’t need to know now. I have given the entire “Rob the Wolf” problem to Jesus. His timing is always supreme. I am happy to wait in silence for His response.
He gave me my earthly husband for His Good Purposes. This, I know to the depths of my being.
Thank you, Jesus.
My God Room 