Category: blessings

Gratitude and Double Nickels

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Yesterday, we returned to TN from worshipping at Brandon Lake’s Tear off the Roof Tour in Charleston, SC on 5/5/2024. It was the quickest trip we have ever planned or taken. Leaving my glorious 55th year behind in January, my heart’s desire was to worship at a Brandon Lake event. His music very much marked all of 2023 for me, including the miracle 10/17/23. We prayed about it and agreed to go to Charleston, SC, to celebrate my 1/21/2024 birthday, my ninth baptism birthday (5/3/15) and our 9th wedding anniversary (5/10/15) in advance. Praise God for healing my blood pressure issues of February, March and April, in His Timing! (Isa 55)

After a spiritual warfare grenade thrown by a certain pastor last week, I am exponentially grateful we sacrificed some things in our normal budget to obtain floor seats. Heck, we were even blessed in the City Market buying that brick washed red Charleston cap. The sweet vendor told me I was “meant to have that cap” at a 33% discount! We met up with an old friend of mine who is four months pregnant with her second child. She will be fifty in July and the baby girl will be born in late October/Early November. Blessings upon blessings!

We cut the visit a pinch short to ensure we made it over to the Credit One arena on time. The Holy Spirit was present in a palpable way; it felt like Jesus was holding my hand most of the evening. It did not surprise me Brandon Lake opened with “Praise You Anywhere” and ended with “Praise”. From beginning to the end of his set, Brandon Lake led authentic, gospel-based worship. Of all the Christian artists I have ever experienced in person, I do not recall a single one used more by God to move me closer to Him. I thank God for the soundtrack he has given to my faith, including Brandon Lake.

After Doe’s opening set, there was an extended call to sponsor World Vision children in need. Lake was on stage at 8:02 pm. Roughly 40 minutes into the show, Brother Brandon joked about being too sweaty to put on his Coat of Many Colors. He shared the story behind his coat before placing it on his sons. In doing so, Lake spoke of the double portion of Spirit and anointing his father prayed over him and how he prays for his three boys to receive the same.

I have seen quite a few clips/shorts of Brandon Lake. Never had I heard him refer to a double portion. It certainly isn’t the first time the Holy Spirit has returned a Word back to me through another person. In that moment, I knew exactly why the Spirit had me write out “One Response” to the aforementioned pastor BEFORE leaving Nashville. It was the nudge to include a reference to 2 Kings 2:9-14 and a double portion of a different variety. Such a blinding bright light of a Godwink in the middle of the show!

Truly, I love how the Holy Spirit moves…including through music and the internet. I somehow ended up here after looking up Brandon Lake’s earlier music. How perfect! Brandon Lake wrote a song with Matt Redman, Brian Johnson, and Phil Wickham and called “We Praise You” on Redmond’s Let There Be Wonder compilation four years ago. The same Matt Redman the pastor praised while denouncing Brandon Lake’s song, Gratitude. The pastor wrote, “Lake is connected with Bethel Church …and along with their music labels promote questionable teaching all the time.” I suppose it depends on how one defines “connected.” Still, I rebuke such statements, as God will judge me or condemn every useless word, including mine.

I didn’t find or know this song before writing “One Response”, so I am including it here for posterity. Yes, Brandon Lake has collaborated with Elevation Worship, Bethel Music, Hillsong, Maverick City Music and more. I emphatically deny that all music from them should be silenced under the presumption of “bad theology”.

I assume ALL GOOD in any person is from God, as I believe all GOOD and GOOD KNOWLEDGE come from God. I have also experienced God through some secular music. I respect churches being intentional about how they lead worship and which songs they choose. However, blindly banning any group of artists and reading the devil into all their songs surely borders on blasphemy.

Praise can be a weapon to silence the enemy!

Roughly a year later, this is Elevation Worship with Maverick City and Brandon Lake. This video was posted three years ago and as of today, 3.3M views:

Forward another year, Lake’s Gratitude was used on The Chosen. 33 million views to this version alone. I believe God has used this song to sew countless seeds among those 33 million views. Brandon Lake can’t convert people to follow Jesus in his own power. However, there is no denying God’s hand on this song and, I believe, on Mr. Lake, himself. Lord, thank you for all you have done, are doing and will do. You have the master list 🙂 Today, I humbly ask all those who come to Jesus through his ministry grow to full maturity in their faith. In Jesus sweet name, Amen.

Faith and Forgiveness

On By mygodroomIn blessings, marriage, obedience, prayer, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Lord, thank you for ALL you have done, are doing and will do in our lives. I come to you with a humbled and much-slowed down heart. Please forgive me for any time my child-like wonder has been an impediment in any manner.

I know this heart you gave me is for YOUR PURPOSE and you wired me this way for reasons I may never know in this life. Thank you for infusing my heart with such genuine excitement for you and love of others! In this moment, I am very grateful for the hard lesson about when to “turn down the volume”.

Oh, Lord, I would never want to have your greatness in our lives perceived as anything other than YOUR GREATNESS. I see now, many people have never experienced you. I do not wish to be a poor messenger or example of your grace.

What I do see in this moment is how you literally slowed my heart pressure to 84/62 on February 28, just as you did seven years ago and November 26. You, like any good parent, must let your child implode from time to time. It’s not to blow up a secure life, it’s to build it back even more secure.

Foundations and Floodgates are much like roots and wings. Thank you for comforting me through the scary parts and giving me Mark as my husband. I love you most of all! I ask this forgiveness in the name of your precious son, Jesus, and every drop of his blood that was shed for humanity. Amen.


Oh, Jimmy

On By mygodroomIn blessingsLeave a comment

Mark and I were talking on the phone while he is in Salt Lake earning extra money so we can have a little margin in our budget. This trip also gives him more prayer and reflection time as he drove across some of God’s most beautiful artwork.  It was a rare opportunity to serve our family , our God and others, as well as have some precious time alone.  It is important to have that one-on-one time for both of us.   When he has been absent from me physically, my soul reaches out to his in a different way.  I felt that tonight in a very palpable way when we finally hung up our phones.  I am grateful Mark speaks so much truth into my heart even if my mind is simultaneously traveling 17, 456 tangents.  The two are not mutually exclusive, though they can be equally overwhelming.   Where some of my responses come from often surprise me.  Odds are, I am equally apt to say something ridiculous as I am to speak something profoundly  beautiful.  Tonight, thank God, I am assured by He who is higher that it was beautiful.  I told Mark that the very person he did not want to have dinner with may be EXACTLY the person God desires for him to love like Jesus tonight.  It was a great conversation.  I want to honor the last night my husband is 44. He will smile to know that is what may have put Jimmy on my heart, too.   Tomorrow, he turns 45!

God, please keep my husband close to you and bring him home to us safely.  Thank you, again, for a husband seeking your heart and seeking to see the parts of me which reflect your son.  Thank you for showing me your love, grace and mercy this afternoon through your sons and one of your daughters.    Thank you for showing me exactly how a true Acts church must have felt for the members represented in  Acts 2: 40-47.    I am grateful you whispered into my heart to  speak the truth you have given me to the whole church present, not only our pastor.  Hearing more hearts, more praise  for you from more voices was quite the symphony.  You already know this and it was part of your plan, lest I forget.   I should expect no less from you, our master conductor. 

Once again, I am humbled by both the songs and the silences you are weaving together.    Once again, you removed any obstacles to living your word out in the spirit you intended.    Bring your concerns to the church and find the joy in the one lost sheep, indeed!   I am so grateful to know the spirit in your word and seek it out to find they are the words of your son.  Matthew 18:12-18!  Lord, you know my heart. Though I can not quote you chapter and verse, I pray you delight in how I will stop everything to chase YOU down, Lord.  Nothing matters more than learning more about you so I can share more of you.  Father God, I know I am yours. You know I am yours.  You know I live my life in such a way that I can praise you to others and encourage them to the letters in red.  I cry every time I think of those “lost sheep” you have put in my path.  Why you chose to use me may forever be a mystery, but there is no better work or greater success then bringing one of your precious sheep back to your Kingdom.   How perfect of you to take me to  Acts 20:24, again, this morning.  Truly. Utterly. Perfect.  Paul cried in humility and tears and like him, I long to only finish the race you have for me.  Please keep helping me see your son in others and put the words in my mouth which will draw the light to the grace you have so generously given us.  Oh, Lord, we did not deserve him!  Please press it on the hearts of all in our church, YOUR church, to be held in the awe you absolutely deserve.  Help us grow, Lord.  If not in number, then in closeness to you and to each other.  Please, Father God, keep your arms wrapped around our pastors and ministry leaders, as well as their families, as our local church navigates this period of growth.  Please give comfort and peace to those being persecuted beyond measure in your name around the world.    I am reminded of a sermon almost five years ago where you told me I would not lose my way.  In that moment, GPS became God’s Perfect Son in my heart.     

While I have no clue how you brought me to seek your Truth and Grace in the quotes of Jimmy Carter,  I will trust the thought “GPS”, as you have been directing my thoughts to your purpose in a huge way.  I am in a perpetual state of gratitude, awe and joy because of you, Lord. Only because of Calvary can I consider the toughest situations pure joy.   I love you.    For now, I will leave  the quotes which resonated the deepest here for future reflection.  My prayer is you will reveal more of yourself to me through one of your other faithful servants.  Yes, even though he is a Democrat and no longer part of the SBC.  Not sure why you had me chase that factoid down, but I am certain it, too, will serve  YOUR purpose.  I love you.

“Failure is a reality; we all fail at times, and it’s painful when we do. But it’s better to fail while striving for something wonderful, challenging, adventurous, and uncertain than to say, ” I don’t want to try because I may not succeed completely.”
― Jimmy Carter, Sources of Strength: Meditations on Scripture for a Living Faith

“If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement.”

 

“I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I’m free to choose what that something is, and the something I’ve chosen is my faith. Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands — this is not optional — my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.”
“Earlier in my life I thought the things that mattered were the things that you could see, like your car, your house, your wealth, your property, your office. But as I’ve grown older I’ve become convinced that the things that matter most are the things that you can’t see — the love you share with others, your inner purpose, your comfort with who you are.”
“Each of us has been made “a little lower than the angels.” What an incomprehensible compliment! But it’s not only a compliment; it’s also a responsibility, for our special status equalizes us with other people in the eyes of God. The Lord has exalted not only me or some special group; God has exalted everyone. It’s the people of Burkina Faso and Niger and Guyana and Haiti. It’s people who never learned to read and write or who live on fifty cents a day.  All human beings have been made a little lower than the angels, and we have a responsibility to treat them accordingly.”
“We should live our lives as though Christ was coming this afternoon.”
“Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future.” (I want the context of this quote because it’s not very Christ-like)
“You only have to have two loves in your life: for God, and for the person in front of you at any particular time.”
“In his early twenties, a man started collecting paintings, many of which later became famous: Picasso, Van Gogh, and others. Over the decades he amassed a wonderful collection. Eventually, the man’s beloved son was drafted into the military and sent to Vietnam, where he died while trying to save his friend. About a month after the war ended, a young man knocked on the devastated father’s door. “Sir,” he said, “I know that you like great art, and I have brought you something not very great.” Inside the package, the father found a portrait of his son. With tears running down his cheeks, the father said, “I want to pay you for this.ℍ “No,” the young man replied, “he saved my life. You don’t owe me anything.ℍ The father cherished the painting and put it in the center of his collection. Whenever people came to visit, he made them look at it. When the man died, his art collection went up for sale. A large crowd of enthusiastic collectors gathered. First up for sale was the amateur portrait. A wave of displeasure rippled through the crowd. “Let’s forget about that painting!” one said. “We want to bid on the valuable ones,” said another. Despite many loud complaints, the auctioneer insisted on starting with the portrait. Finally, the deceased man’s gardener said, “I’ll bid ten dollars.ℍ Hearing no further bids, the auctioneer called out, “Sold for ten dollars!” Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. But then the auctioneer said, “And that concludes the auction.” Furious gasps shook the room. The auctioneer explained, “Let me read the stipulation in the will: “Sell the portrait of my son first, and whoever buys it gets the entire art collection. Whoever takes my son gets everything.ℍ It’s the same way with God Almighty. Whoever takes his Son gets everything.”
― Jimmy Carter, Through the Year with Jimmy Carter: 366 Daily Meditations from the 39th President

Confession

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Mark has a 1991 New International Version Bible.  If you search the NIV today, the word “confess” is not present.  However, when I opened his Bible this morning, Romans 10:10 said, “For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

I am fairly certain no one on this earth could understand the depth of what I felt this morning better than Mark.  He completely understood that out of the entirety of every word on that page, the word “CONFESS” took me back to our conversation yesterday morning.  I believe God is leading me to really look deeply at the subject and necessity of confession.  Scratch that, I believe He is leading US to look at it.

romans10v10

Yesterday, there was an intense, yet brief, period of disagreement between myself and my children.   They are teenagers, so this is not a foreign occurrence in our home.  Still, it was exceptionally brief and intense.  As they went upstairs to sulk, pray or think about it, I was praying and seeking guidance downstairs.  Ultimately, I texted them my apology for allowing anything to impact me enough to agitate me and asked them earnestly to forgive me, sooner than later.  Texting wasn’t an ” easy way out”, it was a thoughtful one.  When my kids are irritated, the fewer the words, the better.  It is hard for them to truly hear me and look at me at the same time when they are remotely upset.  Heck, it’s hard for them to hear and look at anyone at the same time, happy or sad!   Regardless, we had a wonderful evening and Mark was unaware we had any issues before he arrived home last night.


Today,  I am praying and considering the sins which I need to confess to anyone in my life.  What can I share in the most loving of ways to shed light on any darkness I may have brought into the world?  What could I say to my mother?  What things should I share with my husband?  My children, friends, church family?  Bottom line, I do believe the “Catholics got confession right” in the spirit of needing confession.  I don’t believe one must confess to a priest.  Mark and I talked again about how the cross changed everything.  We can take it all to Jesus, yes.  But, what should we confess among ourselves?

Father God, thank you for loving me enough to give us your son, Jesus, on the cross.  Thank you for every opportunity to make restitution in our daily lives.  I pray you will use whatever is broken in me to let your light in even brighter. I pray you will reveal to us those transgressions you would most desire for us to confess.  Thank you for the talent in Jason Gray and using it to speak to my heart.   Thank you, so very much,for using me with Sarah to have her find you in “Grace Wins” by Matthew West.  Thank you for all the music, all the words, all the melodies and for the choir of every angel on this earth.I am overwhelmed with your songs and your silences, Lord.  The tears which flowed down my face this morning, knowing you are speaking me, are priceless. I am so grateful you have given me a husband chasing your heart with me, Lord!  Thank you for letting me share with our friends, again, YOUR power and grace in removing their obstacles to buying their new home.  Thank you for allowing J &D to see the new life you are blessing them with dance and wave at the doctor’s appointment this week.  Please keep this treasure safe and bring the new baby into the world in such a way that everyone will praise you as much as they do.    Knowing you used me with Sarah to bring her directly back to you in such a real way is priceless, as well.  How perfect we are worth more to you than rubies and sparrows.  Yesterday would have been my Mamaw Ruby’s 90th birthday.  Thank you for the 13 years you gave her to me, as well.  Please, Heavenly Father, keep your hand on the Tunnell’s so firmly they feel your power when their son arrives this week.  May we all sing your praises and give you thanks for all the blessings in our lives. 

 

 

 

Jude did not let me down

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My husband and I have both been very sick with summer flu-like nonsense the past few days.  I haven’t been able to sleep because of additional female  aches and pains beyond the norm.  Still, the two hours I spent studying the Book of Jude this morning  was invigorating.


The past several weeks, God has ensured I learned exactly what He wanted me to better understand for His purpose. Much is documented here in My God Room, even when I have not been able to completely write out my thoughts or prayers. Much is discussed with my husband, as well.  Some is only captured in pictures on my phone.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing some pictures to be worth one thousand words!

Today, God used the Book of Jude to drive home a few key points :

1) BeIng saved by grace does not give us indirect permission to sin. At minimum, Jesus’ blood and suffering on the cross should humble us to be better human beings.

2) Loving others should equate to being willing to warn them of false teachers and to protect them. The devil is worse than a vehicle out of control on the roads or any physical dangers we can see.  Surely, I would pull loved ones from those dangers.  I should not have any fear about overstepping or  ensuring they know the Truth, the Way and the Light.

3.  Being willing to fight for Jesus in all things Kingdom- focused is imperative.  Nothing is more worthy of a fight!  The Bible says “contend” for His purpose.  God made sure when His people  tested His word and spirit, they would realize why he said “contend” to Jude.  At the time it was written, the Romans took their sports and games as seriously as we do those in today’s world.  Contend is in the spirit of fighting and competing!

4) God is in control.  Never forget this key truth.   He wants us to love Him and know His almighty power, Grace and mercy.

Maybe it was super- invigorating today because I read a long article last night on how to see Christ in others on  Patheos.org.   I went to bed with a humbled heart aching to be more like Jesus.  Our God is so thoughtful and powerful!!  So many of the insights He gave me during my morning study time applied directly throughout my day.


My day ran the gamut between my morning with Jude, teenage daughter drama over washing/killing her iPhone, listening to my husband’s feedback, work related challenges, suffering physical pain and great conversation with my son.  Truly, it makes my heart feel complete to know He was truly with me each step of my day.  Jude even teaches us to be merciful with unbelievers, which applied to some of the work challenges. 

Although my kids are both saved for His Kingdom, I believe God used Jude as a cushion to soften a few parenting blows today.   In fact, several conversations went very well which could have gone very poorly.

After much back and forth with my husband, I respected his view that it wouldn’t necessarily be wise to tell my son he should offer his phone to his sister for the 5SOS concert tonight.   It would be a catalyst for him to be defensive and pick an unworthy fight.  Or would it?  All day, I had the Spirit in me telling me to very much embrace a fight for Him!   I even challenged my husband  by asking if he was ever shown compassion when he made mistakes growing up.

Still, when it was time for the conversation with my son, God gave me the perfect way to encourage my son through His word and not falter in human fear based on how my son has responded in the past.  It was a simple fact to tell my son my prayer is that he and his sister both learn how to see Jesus in each other and have a desire to BE Jesus to each other.  I “fought” for Jesus with a loving Spirit guiding me.  It was such a powerful realization after it happened.   He gave me the right words to teach my son the compassion I/He desires to demonstrate without the lesson falling on deaf ears.

Thank you, Lord, for all that you do every single day for us!

 

Be Still and Know

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Lord, I know you are King of Kings and hold all of our days in your mighty hand.  I trust there are many reasons beyond my understanding for taking Brian Ragan home to be with you this morning.   My prayer in this moment is that Moira can be comforted by you in her time of grief and loss.  Thank you for allowing me to serve as a witness to your grace in my life in our conversations.  What a beautiful example she is of how a sister should love a brother.

I do remain firm in my belief you have directed the effort for me to become a living donor.  I have felt your presence each step of the way; comfort and peace which can only come from you.   All I know in this moment is that I will attempt to be matched for this 27 year old young man, Joshua,  who has suffered dialysis for five years.  I love that he sings your praises, Lord.  Furthermore, I  pray that if this transplant happens, we can sing them together and be witnesses to your hand over the transplant.

 

bestill

Praying with the Pastor’s Wife

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For over four years, we have attended Hope Fellowship.  We love the pastor, his wife, his entire family. My kids have grown into amazing teenagers under the leadership of their son’s youth ministry.  During those four-plus years, I think I have taken advantage of praying with a leader during Sunday service three times.  Today was the third time.

Roughly two months ago, I was led to investigate becoming a living kidney donor. I prayed with my husband about it and we both agreed it was the right decision.  I have long since had questionnaires filled and blood tested. I knew of a few local people in dire need of a kidney.  It was very clear in prayer that I was to pick a local person.  Of those, I was led to attempt to match to one particular person.   I was not surprised in the least when the tests revealed, indeed, I was a match.

We were halted in the process because the person to whom I have directed my kidney was not yet green-lighted or approved to proceed with the transplant.  During this delay, I learned I needed a mammogram and current pap smear, as well.  I have since completed those tasks.  During this time, the person who will likely get my kidney has had three surgeries.  Today was his third surgery.

It would be impossible to explain in a quick post the why’s and wherefore’s or details explaining how He brought me to the decision to donate a kidney.   I just know it is what He would have me to do for his Glory.  Since committing to His plan for me as I understand it, I have heard Jesus speaking clearer and louder than ever before.  I know He wants me to stay the course.   Every time I bear witness to the donor recipient’s sister, God is guiding that process, as well.

What we have not done is tell my children that this decision has been made.  Again, many reasons, but timing is everything.  Like all major decisions, I have prayed without ceasing about it.   Simply put, the need washed over me during our service today that I needed someone in our church to pray with me.  Specifically, I needed them to pray with me regarding how, when and what I tell my children in this process.  As I walked to the back of the congregation, I saw our pastor’s wife.  She isn’t always able to be there, but she was there today.  While the Pastor’s wife said a perfect prayer over me, God lifted my angst regarding my specific prayer request.

Thank you, Lord.  I do not know the exact words or time they will be spoken.  You, My Heavenly Father, know exactly what they will be.  I know you will give them to me when it is in YOUR time and not mine.

Waking up Crying

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I woke up in tears today. I read my devotional in the bathroom and went back to bed. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me and could not shake it. Jesus basically whispered, “sister, it’s okay. You should love them so much it hurts sometimes. And that anger yesterday, you DO remember what I did to the tables at the temple, right? Let’s go spend some time and get you grounded for today.”

My Bible opens to Acts 20:19-20. My first thought was about 20-20 vision being perfect. Verse 19 comforts me with “I served the Lord with great humility and with tears,” a reminder that all Christians will have some tough times. Lord, please comfort my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ who woke up crying today, too. Verse 20 begins “You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you.” Lord, thank you for using Mark as a guest preacher yesterday and reminding me how the enemy seeks to stop us from serving as your ambassador. Thank you for the times you have put the words in my mouth which should be spoken, even if I don’t recall exactly what they were in the moment!

My tears are gone and peace is filling my heart at the moment.   Thank you, Jesus, for taking me to Acts 20 to consider how Paul preached the same message in different ways to different people.  It is perhaps one of the best scriptures to remind me how my blessings always outweigh the difficulties. What a great way to get grounded; my single purpose on this earth is to love and testify to the grace given us through Christ Jesus. Period.

As for my anger, I can not gloss over it.   Everything isn’t always perfect just because Jesus loves me and I love Him.  Add fuel to the fire of a human being in the form of menopausal hormones and it can be especially tricky.   The anger I felt yesterday was mostly toward my daughter. I wouldn’t classify it as anger as much as frustration, but the root was anger. I had to ask her to forgive me yesterday because I allowed her behavior to take my peace and joy.  ***REDACTED***   She is a young teenager and I am called to train her the way she should grow.  People are always going to be those things and we are called to be light in that darkness, too. My sadness for her entire generation is overwhelming.   Lord, please show me how you would like me to reach out to this younger generation in a way they can respond to you and your love accordingly. Please show me a better way to pause, reflect on you and allow my children and all of your children to see YOU in ME in those moments instead of anger.

One step at a time.  God, I am so grateful you are such a good, good Father.  I am grateful you are training me the way I should grow.  I am humbled by the lessons you teach me and the grace you offered me through your son, Jesus Christ.  He said it is more blessed to give than to receive.  Please let my life be used to bless you and praise your name. 

Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”