That’s how the light gets in.  

Yesterday, I referenced a Jason Gray song because his most recent album has been in heavy rotation.  I had even mentioned his music at our last small group meeting last Wednesday. Why?  Well, the music is wonderful, yes.  However, our current study topic is forgiveness and the entire current album has a theme of grace, redemption and forgiveness.  The small group from our church consists of five active couples and one single lady.  

Last night, a sweet and generous friend who lives in our neighborhood stopped by our home.  Our small group meets at their home.  We love her and her family.  Terri had her dog, Ginger, with her.  Because our dog was anxious with impending storms, she nearly attacked Terri and Ginger.  It was shocking to me.  

Terri is leaving town today to support and love one of her best friends at a wedding in Maine.  Long story short, I offered at our last small group meeting to prepare the meal next week.  It apparently lifted a concern or worry for Terri.  Last Wednesday, she used words to the effect of God used me to directly encourage her and it made a difference.  I have looked forward to cooking the meal every day!  

Terri showed up with her heart and hands quite full.  She brought us extra produce from the CSAs they support.  She also brought me this beautiful hand made card:

It didn’t hit me until this morning that it sounded like a Jason Gray lyric.   When I googled it, the lyrics in entirety belong to Leonard Cohen and “Anthem”.  

Not surprising to me is the flip to Philemon this morning to learn more about slavery to sin and to man.  Father God, let me be only a slave to following you, reflecting your light in my life and to demonstrating the love and forgiveness you gave each of us.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

I could have flipped to after yesterday’s conflict with giving and last night’s argument with my children, this is where He directed me today.

Acts 11:29 is all about giving with a clear heart and according to the abilities  He has provided.  How perfect. 

To the right is the application study notes for Herod Agrippai.  Influence for good or bad on our children couldn’t have been more perfect.  My heart breaks doing the right things for my kids, at times.  Yes, that is where the light gets in, Jason Gray, but it is also a very broken feeling. 

My husband and I have been givers since long before we had money to give.  For years, we have had it pressed on us to help families out, especially right before the kids go back to school.  Raising kids is expensive, period.  Add school clothes, shoes and basic school supplies and it’s a recipe for throwing the best budget out the window.

Fast forward, it was put on our hearts to give clothes and new shoes to a certain family this year.  My daughter actually brought the depth of the need to us and we talked and prayed about it.  I reached out to the mom and she was very receptive to the clothes we had which may work well for her three teens and herself.  Then, I reached out to one of the kids who likes everything on my Facebook page.

In short,  I told her the mom knew we were gathering some clothes but had no clue about our intention to bless them with brand new shoes.    In fact, we wanted the brand new shoes to be something they each picked for themselves and we wanted them to pick a pair for their mom, as well.   Worst case scenario, she could always exchange them at Kohl’s.   Best case, they can use some of the clothes and could find some joy in knowing Jesus was hooking them up with new shoes.    We didn’t want it to be weird.

Well, I had been forward that we wanted them to have what they wanted and trusted them to not break the bank.  One of the kids asked for a 90 dollar pair of boots that we simply could not afford.  We had to tell them no to those boots.  Rather than let it sour our giving hearts, we found the blessing in being honest and knowing we were truly doing what we could do for them.

We pushed very hard to get things together and shop for their requested shoes on Monday.  I had to be gone Tuesday,  as one of my very best friends was delivering her baby that day.  Due to circumstances far beyond my control, I stayed the night and didn’t return home until Wednesday.  The kid had already reached back out and asked WHEN we would get them their stuff.  Again, I didn’t want it to sour the spirit for us.  I told her that we could only find two of the four pairs, ordered the other two online and we even paid for expedited shipping. But, we wanted to wait til Thursday night or Friday to deliver them all together.   Then, perhaps unbeknownst to her child, the mother reaches out and wants to come get the clothes at our home this morning.  The shoes won’t arrive, at best, until later this afternoon.   Again, feeling pushed when we just want to pour blessings out and pay them forward is a tough spot for me, physically and spiritually.

Now, the family needs a replacement vehicle, my sister asked for two grand out of the blue and there are many things tugging at our heartstrings and wallets.  Through all of it, my husband and I talk and pray.  Through all of it, we know we are doing all we can with all He has provided for us.  I believe he keeps blessing us and trusting us to do the right thing, as we have been good stewards with each and every dime.

We feel called to help families put their best foot forward in fall and to step into school with whatever shoes or supplies they need.  We seek to answer that call in a way which gives Him all the glory for all He is doing in our lives.

Father God, we are listening.  We continue to seek your guidance and direction in everything we do.  Thank you for loving us and blessing us.  We love you and want nothing more than to share your love and your grace with each person we met in every step of our lives. 

Ezekiel confused me for a few minutes this morning.  

Mark and I had a good talk about Catholic confession and my/our need for regular confession in our own lives.  I must study more and let it sink in.  

Much to write …Micah 7:19 found me and floored me before heading over to see V’s new home and talk to S about recent happenings in her spiritual growth.  

Please, Father God, carve out the time to write all of the words you have placed on my heart.  Thank you.  

Reminder to write about how we live, what’s on our mantle and what is in our hearts.   

Great story about keeping up and how it wasn’t the rest of the story.

Weeks ago, I left the above sentence here as a reminder to write out a very intense conversation shared with one of my closest girlfriends   At the time, it was too much   I see now that at the end of hours of emotional tug-of-war and tears, the simplest post is best.  

The lesson is simple   Words and actions can be pungent or fragrant.  Whether we speak the wrong words , speak them the wrong way or they are completely misinterpreted, we own them.  The flip side is those who love us should hear EVERY word through a love filter.

With great love,  my amazing friend shared a tough truth with me. Occasionally, I  say things the wrong way or use harsher words where softer words would be preferred.   It’s important to understand where I could improve in my communication   I welcomed her honesty.

More amazingly, she looked me in my eyes, straight to my heart and said, “the reason it doesn’t offend me when you say the “wrong” thing is because I know your heart.”  

I have spent the past weeks filtering every word spoken to me through the ears of love and awareness.  It is deep, no doubt.  

Father God, thank you for the countless sisters and brothers you have given me who know my heart.  I am ever-so-grateful YOU know my heart, Lord.  Please help me soften the  edges as you see fit to better reflect your Glory.  It is my heart’s desire that others only remember the glimpses of you they see in my life.  I want your love to floor them and your light to help them all seek you.  May reconciliation be part of your plan for those relationships on my life which are fractured.  I love you.

We watched the Los Angeles Angels play the Texas Rangers this past Monday night at Angel Stadium in Anaheim, California. 

Each time Albert Pujols came up to bat, Matthew West could be heard in surround sound praising “Grace Wins” every time.  It was odd that it was so clear to me, yet my husband didn’t catch it.  He is such a Pujols and music fan, I would have thought he would notice.  Regardless, he thought it was awesome when I pointed out the detail to him.  It made me so very happy to know Albert had likely requested that specific song for each at-bat. 

It started a thought process about vocal Christians in the celebrity realm and how they choose, or not, to use their God-given voice.  I will elaborate more when time allows the thoughts to ferment.  

For now, it’s more than enough to remember the simple, yet understated and undeniably powerful message of “GraceWins Every Time”.  How blessed are we these lyrics are His Truth:

Words can’t describe the way it feels …When mercy floods a thirsty soul…a broken side begins to heal…And grace returns what guilt has stole!  Thank you, Jesus!!

Today, I felt frustration similar to  what I have often imagined Paul must have felt with the people of Corinth.  Frustration and concern rolled into one; seeking the perfection and feeling exactly how short the reality may be.  

It humbled me to feel it in one of my favorite places, The Getty Villa.  

Thankfully, this was my first direct line of sight upon arrival.  All I could see were crucifixes.  In reality, they are light stands, and even THAT brought me some peace.  

Even when a day doesn’t go as I may have hoped and prayed, it is stil good day.   Thank you, Jesus, for that truth.