Father God, I could never thank you enough for ALL you have done, are doing and will surely do. I could praise you 24 x 7 and it would still not be “too much”. Thank you for those precious moments when I know you are hovering in, over and around me. What you gave us in the shop yesterday with Koi , Tracey Jamie and Miss Karen was so perfectly YOURS. Thank you for guarding my tongue the past 5-6 weeks. I see what you did there. Bringing Steven and Futina in today was impeccably perfect. Lord, hear Futina’s prayer 24 x7 and please heal Steven, in Jesus’ name. I see, too, why the letter must be written today. Please give me the words they need to hear and the wisdom to hold this lesson in that sacred quadrant you have in my heart and lungs. You know I ask this in Jesus/Yeshua’s name, Amen.
Deep breath. Amazing the clarity after three cleansing breaths. I am a Child of Yah and writing like a child is perfectly acceptable to my Messiah.
Shabbat Shalom, Brothers, sisters and others,
Since I know at least three of you receiving this letter are NOT my spiritual sibling at this time, I included “others” in the salutation. It is not intended to be divisive, simply the truth. I love you, whether you love me or not. I thank and praise YHVH for each and every one of you and keep you in prayer. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have missed studying and learning with you. If you are receiving this letter, it is because YHVH used you to teach me something, confirm something or we have prayed together outside of class in agreement. Because you were my key fellowship group, obedience requires I confess sins present or born while with you.
Like most of you, I instantly loved Melissa Schilling Smith and gravitated toward her teaching AFTER being negatively impacted by teachers of false doctrine. I must confess, the first three weeks of November were intoxicating to believe I found “my earthly teacher”. I was beyond excited to unlearn any lie taught to me over 56 years. Respecting Mel’s busy schedule, we still exchanged more than a dozen private voice mails and other messages as Facebook Friends. During this time, I was also nudged to find a Torah Study Partner and develop a close friendship with another Hummingbird Student, outside of the Shabbat study group.
It is my prayer in this moment you are recalling the excitement, power, clarity and the questions YOU experienced your first three weeks into Torah Observance. I respect the fact we all have PERSONAL and therefore DIFFERENT relationships with our Messiah and our YHVH. Snuggled in His Right Hand, Yah was teaching me about the geography of Israel, studying Biblical archaeology, Jewish history/culture and diving deeper and deeper into His Word. While there may be errors in the writings of these humans, there is also a treasure trove of historical information which help bring scripture to life for me. I confess, I can resemble a child “hopped up on sugar” when feasting on the meat and honey He gives me. I get ridiculously giddy and excited to share “my Yeshua” and how He connects everything together for me! In that spirit, I must ask you to forgive me for any time my excitement offended you, as it could be a stumbling block for you if you have not already done so.
Trusting this other Hummingbird Student, I shared a personal health issue with her on November 21. Since she had months of experience with the same prescription, I shared openly with her on the topic. Yah has been clear with me that rebuking others does NOT mean shaming them, so I will not divulge any other details. As the conversation continued, she told me Luke was not a doctor, according to Melissa. I encouraged this person that I would absolutely listen to Melissa’s teaching on Pharmaekeia. I confirmed I had learned MUCH from Melissa. The following morning, I was spiritually kicked (more than a nudge) to send her the “studying” link listed above. In humility, I asked Melissa to please send me her study on Pharmakeia, as I needed to understand the full teaching before praying again about the situation.
The situation is this student blasphemed the Holy Spirit and things YHVH has done through our business on November 22, 2024. Why? Simply because Yah has given me a word on Pharmakeia which does not align with the word given to Melissa. YHVH has been ULTRA CLEAR with me to NEVER allow anyone to detract even one word from His Word. “Beloved Physician” means EXACTLY what it says and focusing on BELOVED matters. Good medical knowledge, like setting bones (Eze 30:21-14) or using fig poultice (2Kings 20:7 ISA 38:21) came from our Elohim. He didn’t need the fig poultice applied to heal Hezekiah or add fifteen years to his life. It is not my intention to argue. I am simply sharing what Yah gave me so clearly: Satan has ZERO POWER to create BAD PHARMAKEIA unless YHVH created GOOD PHARMAKEIA. EZE 47:12 can not only apply to Revelation. (Malachi 3:6, Heb 13:8-16) I warned the student about elevating any teacher above the Word and what the Holy Spirit teaches you in that season. She rebuked me by extrapolating 2466 OFP (our business street address) equates to 666 and marks me as under the influence of Satan. Nonsensical and unbiblical rebukes should never be received.
It was painful to lose a friend, but I praise Yah for removing an unhealthy friendship. I received and studied Melissa’s study on Pharmakeia before sending her one of the links I had shared with the other student. My last voice message to her on 11/23/24 was in near tears asking to establish a time to talk. When she responded five days later, she said she would not be reading what I sent her because Yah had given her the lesson twenty years ago. I need to encourage each of you that in MANY people’s lives, more and more is revealed over time. Please never put limits on how YHVH can deepen your knowledge and bless you with deepened wisdom. He brings me knowledge in some very particular ways, often through what I have termed “stranger angels”. Discernment gave me a “red flag” hearing her last voice mail message.
Despite the red flag, I continued to join for Shabbat Zoom sessions. Melissa was my teacher; it did not matter that we were not in agreement on one topic. There is still much to learn, and I absolutely loved the Shabbat Zoom studies. That is, until I learned Melissa BLOCKED ME from her Facebook roughly three weeks ago. I freely confess it hurt me deeply and for a myriad of reasons. Again, I praise Yah for holding me close and keeping my tongue guarded. There are logical reasons to believe Melissa was deceived by whatever was shared from this other student. Still, I cannot assume she blocked me to make the other student more comfortable. I am not charging gossip or anything else.
I am stating a fact. A Torah Teacher took a questionable step when she blocked a hungry student.
Today, I humbly ask for you to ask Mel WHY she decided to block me. This is not for my edification, but for your own. You deserve to know under what circumstances and conditions your teacher could CUT YOU OFF. I know Yah did not tell her to block me. That would be lie straight from the pits of Hell. I would welcome hearing it directly from Melissa. For six weeks, I listened to “love you”, “this is a safe space” and countless other words which have proven to be FALSE in my experience. Please let her know I forgive it, but one does not block a Child of Yah without being subjected to some woe.
YHVH sees and knows the truth. It breaks His Heart to see the rotten fruit in Melissa’s public comment sections. What He gave me to share with Mel in my last voice message was how it breaks His heart when his children do not LEAD WITH LOVE. That came after praying with and for several of you. Please, I beg of you, quit throwing your families/others under the proverbial bus in such public ways. It does not honor our Messiah or bring anyone to knowledge of him. If the majority of your comments you make would make Yeshua smile, this does not apply to you. We all fall short, period.
In closing, if you want to remove yourself from my friends’ list, I will understand. All of you are on my prayer list, regardless. We do not have to be “Facebook friends” or real-life friends. If you need a warm bed and a meal in Tennessee, the door is open. I am going to continue to love you, no matter what. For me, the door is closed to your study group, and I accept it. However, I recently learned I can see Melissa’s page from our business account, so she may want to go block my business pages for whatever her reasons.
What Yah just showed me is REVOLUTION does not happen without Him and maybe everyone should consider why His Name, the name above ALL NAMES, is not on the T-shirt. Not HIS WORD and not HIS NAME. Ask yourselves does that T-Shirt invite an honest conversation? If you saw that shirt years before you came to be Torah Observant, how would YOU have received it? Ask YHVH to show you if pride, fear or anything else is blocking your spiritual eyes and ask YHVH to give you wisdom He surely desires to give to all his children.
Shalom,
Carol
My God Room 