Sweet Jesus, please help me. Words matter. The source matters. Your Word always matters.
How do I hold my tongue when plagiarism has been positioned as wisdom of Carlos Gracie? Especially when positioned as the “12 Commandments of Jiu-Jitsu?” I will not copy the image here, but it’s rampant in BJJ.
How does one simply see anything wrong in the world and not seek to understand or work toward a solution? I use to think I cared too much. I was wrong.
Truth is always worth caring about and the number one reason for me to “fight” .
I can send an email to attorney John Gomez, who clearly does not know Christian D. Lawson wrote “Promise Yourself” aka The Optimist’s Creed in 1912. Surely an attorney can appreciate the issue of plagiarism, right? Even though he trains under one of Carlos’ grandsons? We shall see.
Always, I seek the source. And, THE SOURCE has been spitting facts all day. Jesus clearly wants me to wrestle with this before giving me what He wants in the first “About the Author” section of Black Belt Wisdom. I keep getting the sense that the welcoming must be in my voice with His Tone. That’s a tough order.
For funsies, the Spirit revealed why there is no Master Jacare Cavalcanti quote in Black Belt Wisdom. Several of his students are included, but not him. Apparently, it was not a mistake. I caught this closing comment this morning from an interview On The Mat:
#ISWYDT
Jacare received one of the last Black Belts awarded by Rolls Gracie, mere months before Rolls’ tragic death. Apparently, I am to write specific letters to Masters Rickson and Jacares and tell them about our Oszczakiewicz Gracie. The truly personal connection must be shared.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.
Just like that, Divine Humor strikes again. I have written countless times that my BJJ Journey began with finishing Episode 2358 of the Joe Rogan Experience on 10/17/25. Two days later, I wrote this Prayer for Joe. Master Jacare’s birthday is October 17. #ISWYDT.
I love how He gives me bookends and dates to remember what He has done in my life.
Here are some facts about the source of the plagiarized 12 Commandments of Jiu-Jitsu
Master Carlos was born in 1902. Lawson published Promise Yourself when Carlos was about ten years old. Optimist International began June 19.1919. The first Gracie Academy opened in 1925.
It is completely understood that attribution standards were different in the early twentieth century, and formal accreditation was not commonly expected at that time. That said, it’s been one hundred years and I find it hard to believe no one has pointed out this plagiarism since the dawn of the internet.
In this era, authorship matters, attribution matters, and integrity matters. There is nothing new under the sun and I can’t be the first person to feel sick over it.
My prayer is not to diminish the Gracie legacy, but to see it strengthened through clarity—whether by acknowledgment, reattribution, or context—because preserving the heart of this art means preserving honesty alongside technique. Legacy is not weakened by truth; it is protected by it.
Last night, I shared more details with my husband about Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness —-how Black Belt Wisdom is tied to White Belt Wilderness, 7 Stones and more. I was spiritually exhausted and a pinch teary-eyed over reaching the point where must write “ About the Author”.
I begged God for clarity and direction from a painful place last night. I cried while telling Mark about how He woke me to read “Give the Garden Away” a few nights ago—something He had me write more than two months ago. This has happened countless times since May 8, 2025.
To know, unequivocally, the Master of the Universe gave me this exact path and opportunity to serve—-well, it humbles me to tears.
That said, I struggle deeply with finding the balance of how much to share in an “About the Author”. I struggle because it’s not about me—-it’s all about The GrandMaster. I have been called to offer Black Belt Wisdom and it’s not easy to explain to the public how God works in our lives. Still, He is holding me steady and not letting the words flow.
I am listening. Waiting on His Timing is necessary.
In MyGodRoom, I can just be the hot mess I am without any reservation —-as proven by roughly 160 posts since May 8. I stand from the perception that we are all hot messes who need Jesus.
Why? Because the Lord directed every step of MyGodRoom. He brought me here to “write it down” for His Good Purposes over nine years ago! It’s okay that I don’t have all the answers, because I know The One who does. This has been a very safe place for me to grow closer and closer with Jesus.
Truth? I’m just a kid who loves Jesus more than anything else and my hearts desire is to please my Heavenly Father. Obedience isn’t always pretty, that’s for sure. And, He is directing me to begin sharing “MyGodRoom” type posts in the Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness.
As much as it makes perfect sense—-it feels like I am walking in naked to an open mat session with the entire world.
As if beginning jiu-jitsu at nearly 58 wasn’t enough of a challenge. 🤣. Still, I know that is precisely how He is placing the stones for me. I love that he is having my husband leave stones, too. Mark even offered to write a forward “about me”.
As I told Mark, the only thing truly special about me is how much God loves me—-He shows up and shows off, often. And, my husband was on point confirming it’s really the only special thing about any of us.
When He gives me the words, they will be written, period. He is the author of salvation and everything else.
This morning, I was nudged to flip before we ever left for church. I first prayed for two customers who both have babies named Ezra. But, it stood out to me that despite the other highly marked pages on Ezra—-He brought me to Ezra 8-9. Unmarked pages. Zero notes.
The nutshell for me is that Ezra 8 is all about training, discipline and alignment—-pure obedience Ezra 9 is about Holy Grief and repentance. Both pages were meant for me before we ever arrived at Creekmont Church.
We headed to church fully expecting to continue deep-diving into the Sermon on the Mount. We have literally been in Matthew every single Sunday since we began attending Creekmont.
Our first visit was September 21. Reading back through our first visit – HERE– brought Mark and I back to our beginning with them just over three months ago.
Before the service even began, Waymaker was playing softly in the background. Then Holy Forever. I was undone before the first word was preached—already humbled, already listening. Sometimes the heart knows before the mind catches up.
Singing Blessed Assurance—- knowing from the program we were NOT going to be in Matthew—-hit different. I have TRULY known for ten years that I am His and He is Mine. Today, it hit deeper still. 💜✝️💜
And then the message.
1 Timothy 4:7: train yourself to be godly. Not try. Train. The difference matters.
The words landed with weight. You can’t download Godliness. There are no spiritual shortcuts. Growth is promised—but it is not immediate.
Spiritual muscles must be trained, too!
Faith is a walk.
Faith is a race.
Faith is daily discipline.
One line in particular kept echoing:
Are you practicing repentance, or postponing it? That question stayed with me. So did the reminder that slow progress is not failure. Anyone who has trained—really trained—knows that truth in theirbones.
The path of the righteous, Proverbs says, is like the morning light—shining brighter and brighter until full day. Not instant light. Progressive light. Rise and shine doesn’t mean rush. It means keep showing up.
What struck me most was obedience. That word has been reigning in my life since May 8th, and hearing it named again—clearly, boldly—felt like confirmation rather than correction. Habit, after all, is a God-given gift. And by His grace, my habits have changed.
After church, we shared lunch with our pastor and his wife. It tickled me Shad used the expression , “not a doctor and I don’t play a doctor on TV”. It’s something I have said for decades. What moved me most was his story about moths which led him to change up the message today. #ISWYDT 💜💜
When we finally got home, I slept for nearly three hours. That’s how I know something real happened. My spirit needed time to digest what my heart had received.
Spiritual muscle takes time to develop. It requires “PIE”- perspective, intention and execution. Good Lord, I’ve had pie for three years and lost 7 stones, 98 pounds. 🤗
As captured on video in July 2024—a little motion does a lot for the ocean. 🤣🤣
I think I was struggling last night because God wanted to show me—one more time—that He is paying attention. That He is faithful. That training looks a lot like obedience, repeated daily, in small unseen ways.
Today felt personal. Not because it was only for me—but because it reminded me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Still training.
Still walking.
Still rising.
Thank you, Jesus, for every fiber of strength and conviction you provide. Thank you for EVERYTHING. Please heal Hester’s niece , your way and in your timing. Please answer Shad’s prayer of 15 years- whatever it may be. Forgive me for failing to ask “their story” at lunch, if I was suppose to ask. Thank you for weighing the silver and the gold in Ezra and for reminding me so beautifully how just your scales remain. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. I love you even more- MOLA.
Happy Friday! The past 48 hours have been truly spirit filled in the best of ways. Lingering with Jesus yesterday was much needed to decompress. Our shop was incredibly busy today —– Praise God! I was late leaving, but need to post yesterday’s notes about Jeremiah 12.
When I made it home Wednesday night, Mark and I had a deep conversation about numbers, finances and budgets. Our least favorite type of conversation, yet necessary. We prayed together a little differently.
I woke extra early and it was the first day I had an opportunity to sleep in. I snuggled up with Mark, took a sip of coffee and told him I needed to go back to sleep. Ha! The Lord had other plans for me.
Within a few minutes, I was nudged HARD to have Mark flip open my Bible. I told him,”can’t rest until you flip for us”. He flipped to Jeremiah 12.
God Answers 💜✝️💜
God had already written His response in Jeremiah 12. Not rushed. Not harsh. Just steady, honest truth for a weary heart that’s learning how to listen instead of striving.
In my heart- just seeing 12:3 always makes me think of how Isaiah teaches “with JOY I draw from the wellspring of salvation.” And John 12:3 – reminding me that pouring out like Mary – for Jesus- is everything.
Jeremiah asked what so many of us ask quietly: Why do the wicked seem to prosper while the faithful struggle? And instead of correcting the question, God answered it—with perspective.
I read the entire chapter out loud to Mark and we agreed it was encouragement for us both. Then, I was not only able to rest, I slept until 10:20! The Good Lord woke me in just enough time to brush my hair and put on clothe for jiu-jitsu at 11. It was super nice to learn I am a good accountability partner for John and to get additional private instruction after class with Blackbelt John, as well.
Here’s what stayed with me about Jeremiah 12 all day.
First, God is not offended by honest questions. He welcomes them. But He also reminds us to stay rooted while we wait. Lament is allowed; accusation is not. The conversation itself is part of the relationship. Dedicating that time each day is super important to me.
Second, the pressure I feel is not punishment—it’s preparation. When God says, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how will you compete with horses?” it’s not a rebuke. It’s a reminder that endurance is being built for something heavier, something ahead that requires stronger spiritual legs than I may have today.
And third, even God grieves. Jeremiah 12 reveals a Father’s heart that hurts over unfaithfulness—but still leaves the door open for restoration. Discipline doesn’t cancel mercy. Judgment is never His final word for those willing to return.
I didn’t wake up with clarity. Still, I woke up to answers—waiting patiently on the page. ISWYDT.
I love, love, LOVE when the Holy Spirit gets me with the old 1-2-3. I love His laws and precepts. I love that meditating on His Word is such a feast.
Yesterday, before the day ever unfolded, the Lord had me in 1 Chronicles 21. More specifically, this time my husband flipped to the same pages I flipped to 11/19/25. Do I see the difference a month can make? #YESSIR! Mistakes, mercy and consequences combined with a piercing note about being the HUB. It’s rare He has me wait to post, as He is doing this evening.
One of the sweetest surprises of the day was Miss Omie walking through the door. Last week was her birthday, and I had shared the 12:11 Scriptures with her. Yesterday, she returned exuberant and with three physical gifts—-A prayer journal with birds on it, a necklace, and a precious Christmas ornament from her Joy Club.
The greater gift was her literal presence and learning maybe, just maybe, why the Lord often has me write about cherries on top of His proverbial sundaes. #ISWYDT. That humbled me more than she could know. When she wanted us to take a selfie, I was tickled to pieces!
My sweet Omie
The rest of the day was…work. Real work. Problems that required attention, patience, and follow-through. Square issues. American Express issues. Product listings. Orders that needed fixing. Nothing dramatic—just one thing after another. And I handled them the only way I could: one thing at a time.
In the middle of all that, I learned something hard. We lost a substantial amount in business last month. That number landed heavy. It means we need to make some serious decisions, slow down, pray, and talk. At the current pace, it will be a blessing if we are still open a year from now. It is a reality which can’t be ignored.
There may be another sacrifice —yet to be determined.
And yet—this is what I don’t want to miss—I felt the Lord with me all day. Not loudly. Not urgently. Just steadily. I felt encouraged even when irritated. Corrected without condemnation. Strengthened without panic.
That’s the heart of 1 Chronicles 21 for meyesterday.
God does not abandon us in responsibility. He meets us there. He allows us to see clearly and feel the weight. Only then does He invite us to deeper connection. .
My obedience certainly isn’t glamorous and it doesn’t always make sense to those around me. I only know radical obedience has led to radical results.
Today, I was beyond blessed to simply linger with Him. Perfect peace. No work -not a stitch. He woke me just in time to make jiu-jitsu and resolve a financial matter at the bank. After that, it has been me and Jesus all day long and it has been glorious!
Today Isaiah 60:1–4 sat with me—not loudly, not urgently—but steadily.
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.”
I’ve known these words. I’ve shared them verbally and I have posted them. But today, I wasn’t being told to move—I was being told to notice. I noticed it was ten days before I watched the first half of Episode #2358 and everything went into warp speed .
This morning’s Jesus Calling spoke straight into the depths of my being. He reminded me that He speaks in the language of Love, that His words bring Life and Peace and Joy and hope—but only if I am still enough to hear Him. Living close to Him requires making Him my First Love, above all others.
When I realized that I had posted the original “Rise and Shine” on October 4, it didn’t feel accidental. I wasn’t trying to make something happen then. I was responding to something I could sense but didn’t yet understand. The light had already come; the meaning was still unfolding.
Isaiah says that darkness covers the earth and thick darkness the people, yet the LORD rises upon His own and His glory is seen.
I’m learning that rising doesn’t always look like action. Sometimes it looks like standing still long enough for God’s glory to settle clearly—without interference.
Isaiah 60 tells me to lift up my eyes and look around, to see what is gathering, what is returning, what is coming from afar. That feels like this season: watching instead of striving, trusting instead of pushing.
And Isaiah 54 holds me there.
It reminds me that this is a chapter of restoration, not performance. Of being re-established, not rushed. God speaks comfort before commission, peace before purpose. He assures me that I am not forgotten, not abandoned, and not required to prove anything to step into what He has already promised.
So today, I wait. I don’t rush the next step.
I let the Lord establish me in His timing. I trust the words are going to roll right off the keyboard when He says it’s time.
When He says arise, I will. Until then, I remain still—-secure in His covenant of peace.
Truly an exceptional focal point as I engaged with the world today. I learned someone else precious has gone to be with Jesus. Miss Rhonda’s is the third death in three weeks. My prayers are for loved ones, especially her husband and sons.
I shared with Becky and Miss Pam that I was in the best mood as I drove to the salon. As I drove, I compelled to tears singing “Trust in God-Radio Version”. I lost my voice and started crying with the lyric, “and what you did for me at Calvary as more than enough”.
It will always make me cry to consider the depth of the cross.
Thank you, Jesus, for this sweet nudge to look back. If only to acknowledge, “I see what You did there,” it would have been enough. But, you, in your infinite wisdom, seem to dole out extra portions to me. How could I not be in constant amazement of YOUR Great love. 💜✝️💜
In this season of doors closing and opening, it feels like my head is on a swivel. Everything feels like an ISA 22:22 “door”. Connection upon connection is both beautiful and similar to playing “memory jenga”.
Jesus holds EVERYTHING together, including me.
MySpace Memories converge with Our Gracie and BJJ Gracie’s, Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness, my 40 year NEHS reunion planning and everything else. Everything feels super-connected. Just this morning, I saw a post from 12 years ago from My Chrissie.
Thank you, Jesus, for My Chrissie. I know she is YOURS.
Yesterday, the best thing on my human brain would have been to sleep in after the week I experienced. That was NOT God’s plan. Instead, I needed to get up early to take Mark to pick up his vehicle. Despite feeling “off”, I went to One Nation Jiu-Jitsu and experienced great teaching. All in all, a stellar day, capped off with watching Tracker and another show with my husband. We went to bed early and I slept deeply.
Around 5 am, the Holy Spirit was nudging me back to Joe Rogan Episode #2358. “What did he actually say—-check the transcript”. Sometime during the last two weeks, I know I had already done this. So, I searched my photos for the screenshot “receipts”.
Luke 2:48 is a bridge…Jesus before 13 💜✝️💜
It’s not my first early morning rodeo with the Holy Spirit. That said, it is the first time I can recall being spurred further to see what I missed. Because, quite frankly, Jesus wasn’t happy with the receipt I kept on my phone. So, I searched that episode number on YouTube and was stopped dead in my tracks.
It also explains to me why WILDERNESS was attached to Jiu-jitsu—-without me ever fully knowing why.
Luke 2:51 💜✝️💜Obedience
After He started buzzing around my brain, I had two of the best hours of sleep possible. When I woke, I grabbed my Bible and flipped. I am meeting Miss Dottie to drop off her order before going to see Miss Becky and getting my hair cut.
I have the option of a leisurely day but MUCH to get accomplished. Best option for me is to ground my day in His Word. What fascinated me was learning most of the notes were from May 2025 onward.
Job or “JOBE” like my MySpace Friend —-now a pastor
At first glance, all I could do was wrestle with the vapor of 5/30/25, 7/27/35 @Casa Mull #ISWYDT, and “lingering” on 8/12/35. Almost instantly, it was contrasted against notes from 11/4/2018, “ Lord, teach me where and how I have been wrong so I may learn and be better reflection of you “
The note from 11/25/18, “Lord, please humble me and teach me why you brought me here again today.”
He had me wrote those notes SEVEN years ago for His good purpose. Not shocking to me was to see the red marker used on 7/27/25 —- the same day I made a Romans 8:28 note. Maybe it’s only funny if you know my habit of enlarging font when He makes a point. Romans 8:28 is actually in the study notes. For me to “write it down” larger is an inside joke, so to speak.
What stands out now are the green highlights from today—fresh, alive, and unmistakably present.
They don’t erase what came before; they build on it. It feels like God is saying, “ You learned what you needed then —-I’m teaching you something new. The same Scripture, the same voice—but a deeper invitation. Not to revisit old pain, but to recognize growth, and to keep learning with an open heart.
I see what He did there…relationship with Him is a whole lot like Jiu-Jitsu. The GrandMaster keeps showing off for The BPC in Tennessee.—-and I am ever-so-grateful. Good heavens, I don’t deserve it—-but boy, oh boy, am I grateful.
Yesterday was side control, toreando passing and ankle locks. Lindsey was a huge help amd pushed me to exactly the right amount to feel progress click.
This morning I didn’t really feel up to going to train. I pondered scriptures on signs because I felt strongly led that I was supposed to go anyway. I’m grateful I listened.
I ended up having one of the most meaningful drilling sessions I’ve enjoyed this far. I partnered up with John and we worked on moving from closed guard to a few transitions where the legs end up around your partners neck.
We quickly figured out we learn the same way—counting steps, slowing things down, letting understanding settle before moving on. It was easy, natural, and encouraging. I even joked that if we ever competed, we’d be the tortoise and the hare—me being the tortoise, and his last name being Hare.
Afterward, Brother John H. took time to help me drill through a few things and offered genuine encouragement. He showed me that for most real life situations, I would use the “praying hands” motion to break their posture and grab the elbow to drag to under my armpit while my core is engaged and in motion. Each person has a different view and it’s fun putting all the pieces together
Well, let’s back pedal a pinch—— the outline of the pieces I have this far. 🤣
What struck me most is that just two weeks ago I had written about a conversation John and I shared around Lamentations 3:58—about connection, and the Lord meeting us there. Today felt like a quiet continuation of that moment, without any overt Godversation.
I’m thankful for obedience, for faithful teachers, for unexpected partners, and for the gentle ways God confirms His leading—even on the mat.
Since I shared this to Miss Omie’s Facebook page, I failed to post it here on her actual birthday. Today is “catch up” day in countless ways.
I am fairly certain Jesus wants me to give gifts like this to those I love. I know how He used creating this one for Omie to draw me even closer to Him. Miss Omie’s is the first —-so I should remember the day He spurred me on. May she always know how precious, set-apart and special He made her!!!💜✝️💜
Whether one verse or ten, His Word will always be the best. I’m so blessed to know and love Omie.
Today was exceptionally spirit filled and beautiful. I even did a cartwheel in the late afternoon and shared the silliness on our Community Vapor Facebook page.
This, all because I received a call which absolutely set me off. It was uncomfortable and painful to be that angry. I reached for our Fruit of the Spirit Bible and asked God to teach me something. Anything. Get me out of myself and my anger.
He took me straight to Job 36:16. Of course I did cartwheels all afternoon! Search My God Room for “woo” and perhaps it will make more sense.
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for wooing me, loving me and saving me. I didn’t deserve it.
Today held a few quiet challenges, the kind only a mother can experience or feel to this depth. I was grateful to wake up in my daughter’s home and be ready to go before her alarm sounded.
On the drive, she shared Labi Soffre’s work. i confess it makes my spirit growl to see “Demon Music” and it hurts my heart to learn he is an atheist. Yet, given his life, I also have some understanding. The song is beautiful and blessed my day, regardless.
Intercession is my kind of jam when it comes to prayer. And, yes, I have prayed more than once for the Holy Spirit to pierce his 80 year old mind with His Wisdom and desire to learn truth. 💜✝️💜
Back to my sweet girl. My daughter is beyond brave, brilliant and beautiful. She is a compassionate warrior—- I am excited for the day she sees herself as I do. She has no real concept of how amazing she truly is…YET. When it was time to leave to get to work —- I knew she would be okay. I also knew it would be a grand time to chit-chat with Jesus—-all the way down the interstate.
Thank God, I don’t have to hold my phone up to my ear for 45 minutes when it’s time to communicate. We are so blessed to have our own “soup cans”. If you didn’t grow up trying to talk through soup cans and strings, it’s ok. I promise, we can still be friends. It’s just the image which is called to heart in this moment. I must include the reference for reasons I don’t understand.
First tree I have ever seen like this in winter
Our customers have known for a week that I would be delayed opening the store—-so I had peace about the drive time. What hasn’t fully processed is “Part II” or the folder of old blog posts, letters and poems tossed to my hands on my way to my daughters last night.
One blaring unprocessed fact- my dad’s cancer diagnosis was written about, along with the May 8 surgery date.
Blogs about 8/8 and the impact of one weekend are all in this “forgotten wilderness”.
I shall blame menopause brain fog and simply praise God for bringing more truth to my heart.
The goal was to open by 1:00. I arrived at 1:11. As I walked in, I asked the Lord to please bless the business, despite the late start. I rarely ask for financial blessings. Today, I asked for something specific and it was delivered in the first three customers.
Of course, I am going to praise the One who holds everything together. Hallelujah!
I had barely turned off the alarm and turned on the lights when the TELEPHONE rang. Bless the telephone, indeed!!! Highly unusual for such a large sale to be phoned in and it immediately settled any unrest in my spirit.
And right at 1:21 —#ISWYDT— He sent us our first transaction of the day. Not only is it an exponentially larger sale than normal, it whispers “I really do have your back” to me.
Why? Because part of our chit-chat during the drive was all about MySpace friendships, the women who flew to TN for my 40th and the Beth Hart Lyric which connected us. It used a four letter word that most Christians would balk at.
The revelation getting here today was that many well-intentioned Christians truly damaged my spirit with their legalism and hypocrisy. I had to ask God to forgive them and to remove any trace of anything not of Him.
Anywho—-this all ties back to last Sunday’s message about Matthew 7:6 It is like He tied it all together for me on the road. I feel like I truly arrived in a different way today.
There is no other Master Servant than Jesus. The best I can do is to do EVERYTHING as unto the Lord. I am not a slave—-Jesus set me free and I cherish this freedom.
Curse no one. Bless everyone. Thats my job.
After a morning that pulled at my heart, that little numerical wink from heaven washed away any debris.
Thank you, Jesus, for getting me here safely and keeping me safe. I love you.
My God Room 