137.44 was a really important number yesterday in our business. It stood out immediately and the Lord made it clear enough that I couldn’t ignore it. He nudged me straight to Psalm 137, and specifically verse 4:
“How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?”
And the moment I read that, I felt it. Not sadness—clarity. This wasn’t about sales. It was about assignment, and about how some things in life just quietly shift seasons without making a big dramatic announcement.
Fast-forward to today. I pull into One Nation Jiu-Jitsu, listening to Zahira Zachary singing “Stay” from my iTunes library—already deep in worship, already soft in my spirit—and when my Bluetooth disconnected as I parked, the exact same song was playing on the radio.
If that wasn’t a Godwink, then I don’t even know what qualifies anymore.
Inside the gym it was Q&A day. Tyrone and Matt were there, Geo was teaching as the black belt, and Jaden popped in. Coach Sadie and Coach Sam were around too. I watched them drill getting out of an anaconda and a couple of other tight spots, and then I asked my question about shrimping—the way your hips need to rotate, the angle, the mechanics. And I actually got a great answer. That’s something I need to drill again.
Then came the moment: “Carol, do you want to roll today?”
And yes, of course I wanted to. But I told them the truth. My plan is to roll on Sundays and Mondays, take Tuesday through Thursday to heal, and then come on Fridays and just feel it out.
Coach Sam said, “That’s wise.” Not “wise for 57.” Just… wise.
Right there, between the Godwink in the car and the confirmation on the mat, Psalm 137 started making sense. It wasn’t God saying, “Stop singing.” It was God saying something else to me.
There are times in life where the Lord lets you hang your harp—not in defeat, but in obedience. Not because the music is over, but because the location of the song is changing.
And then, as I sat with it, He brought me to the very last line in Psalms:
Psalm 150:6 — “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.”
Psalm 137 is the moment the song pauses. Psalm 150 is the moment the breath returns.
Yesterday felt like Psalm 137. Today felt like Psalm 150.
Breath. Clarity. Rest. Strength. Direction. A new song rising.
And all of it—from the strange sales number, to Zahira Zachary singing in stereo, to the wisdom on the mat—was the Lord saying:
“Daughter, you’re not in the foreign land anymore. Breathe. Move wisely. Walk in the pace I give you. And let everything that has breath in you—praise Me.”
Exactly the plan as I enter the quotes into a standard format. Thank you, Jesus.
In between getting my messy nightstand cleaned off and other tasks, I hopped on Facebook and shared about my cousin “retiring from retirement”. 🤣🤣🤣
I clicked to join a jiu-jitsu Facebook Group and there was a post which delved into injuries in the comments.
I bumped into something called BPC-157 and had to laugh. Come on, I AM the Original Blonde PolishChick!
I am ONE 57 year old Blonde Polish Chick who loves to help others in healing. I am just beginning at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu and I am recovering from rolling Sunday and Monday.
I am PEP Personified and now I learn 15 peptides use BPC to define them!
Three fives. Threes and fives. Jesus has rhythm no doubt.
And honestly, the more I read, the funnier it got. People in the Phoenix MMA/BJJ world are swearing by this little peptide for inflammation, tendon repair, gut healing — basically everything short of resurrecting your dignity after being pancaked by a purple belt half your size.
Laughter is fantastic medicine. Still, His Word is salve to any wound. Let’s go straight to Scripture.
There is only one verse 157 in the entire Bible, and it is in Psalm 119:157.
One verse numbered 157, in the longest chapter of Scripture, and it is about standing firm under pressure without abandoning what God has said.
Then the “old Ronco commercial” strikes again and I am nudged to wait because “there is MORE!” What about the fifteenth chapter and 7th verse? What about the first book with 57 verses?
For clarity, it’s NEVER a bad idea to hunt everything down in scripture.
John 15:7 says, “If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”
This is the verse of abiding, alignment, and answered prayer — the heart posture of staying close enough to hear Him and bold enough to ask.
Romans 15:7 says, “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”
This is the verse of community, hospitality, and belonging — exactly the message that has been echoing through everything we are building for the JJ Wilderness project.
Proverbs 15:7 says, “The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not steadfast.” This is the verse of wisdom, discernment, and the responsibility to speak truth with clarity and intention.
Luke 1:57 says, “Now the time came for Elizabeth to give birth, and she bore a son.” This is the verse of divine timing, fulfilled promise, and the birth of a calling long prepared.
Suffice it to say I have accepted my calling of 44 years at an exponentially deeper level. I am within weeks of delivering this little “creative baby” to the world.
All of them together — Psalm 119:157, John 15:7, Romans 15:7, Proverbs 15:7, and Luke 1:57 — form a pattern: standing firm, abiding deeply, building community, speaking wisdom, and stepping into the moment God has appointed.
And, maybe, just maybe, because Divine Humor is one of His Love Languages with me, He flipped the script and this appeared. of all the chapter seven and verse fifteens, this is the one He chose for me.
Three years ago, we weren’t sure Johnny would ever walk again — much less return to duty. After a 94-day fight with COVID, he came home by the grace of God.
Fast-forward to December 2022: Mark and I had dinner with Johnny and Brenda, celebrating his retirement as the longest-serving Chief in Blue Ridge history. The same week, there was a major event to celebrate his BRPD retirement.
Three months ago, I saw him at Twitty City, retired and smiling, playing softball like a teenager.
And today? He’s putting the uniform back on.
That’s not luck. That’s not coincidence. That’s the Lord writing a story only He could write.
Obedience isn’t always convenient , but it’s always necessary for me. Thank you, Jesus, for literally always having my back. You are my favorite seatbelt. I love you. 💜✝️💜
There is no way on earth I could ever explain how God chooses to use me. I have written many times how Jesus love, love, LOVES to get me carried away with Him whenever I am isolated. More on that later. The point is the Holy Spirit moves mightily in me and through me whenever my husband is out of town.
Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness was “electronically born”around 2 am Sunday morning. By that. I’m I mean I purchased the websites around 2 am. As I am following wherever the Spirit leads, I need to pause the floodgates and catch my breath. Just breathe. The inception was on Saturday, as I was pondering how my earthly father would have been celebrating his 81st birthday “in three days”.
Suffice it to say that the Spirit showed me gifts He has given me and how I am to share those gifts His Way. That’s about as clear as I can get until certain steps are completed.
To say I am excited to share a gift with One Nation Jiu-Jitsu would be an understatement of epic proportions.
Despite being exhausted (yet highly energized in Spirit), I went to church without Mark yesterday. Obedience is KEY for me. I heard the best sermon possible about DIRT and truly felt Gen 2:7. We sang Trust and Obey and boy, oh boy, #ISWYDT
No doubt, It hit deeper to realize God literally breathed life into humanity. God didn’t do that for anything else, only for humanity. It’s beyond precious and powerful to me. I’ve known He was the breath in my lungs for a long time—- just felt it in palpable manner yesterday. It was invigorating. 💜✝️💜
Praise God!!! Praise, Praise and more Praise! #MOLA
Seriously, think about it with me. If the Earth shifted even a single degree on its axis—- our seasons, climates, oceans, and habitability would all be dramatically altered. Everything we call ‘normal’ depends on a razor-thin margin of balance — and Colossians 1:17 tells us exactly Who holds that balance together.
In Brazilian jiu-jitsu, leverage changes everything.
One inch, one angle, one shift of weight. And the universe works the same way. A single degree of tilt would undo life on Earth… yet He holds it steady. He is the Master of leverage. The One who keeps every angle exact so that we can stand, breathe, and roll. That’s My Jesus in his “red” belt…the FIRST and LAST GrandMaster in everything.
Invigorated as I was yesterday, of course I went to ONJJ yesterday, as well. What a difference one week and seven days can make in a persons life! My song, “Stay” found me on the way to the gym. I did manage to post about that as soon as class was over. When the Lord delivers a song the way He does with me, it must be honored. I think I posted it from the parking lot at the gym! From that same parking spot, Mark floored me in the best way —-he was already at the airport!
So why did my husband leave me in the Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness?
I wish my facetiousness and humor translated better here. Let’s just say I am a safe driver but my household has jokes about my driving and especially, my parking. 🤣. We’ve got nearly fifteen years of jokes about him leaving me or staying for the dog. We are silly and playful, indeed. In all seriousness, My sweet Gingerbeard Man left town to drive a U-Haul to a Wisconsin for our former employee (forever CV Family member), Jenn. It was the best gift we could offer her after twelve years of faithful service.
Facts? I am not fearful of anything except Holy Wrath. That said, I would not be comfortable driving a 20-26 foot loaded U-Haul and towing a car from Tennessee to Wisconsin, or anywhere else. It’s not my strength and my husband is the best driver I have ever known. We love Jenn and it was clear that our gift needed to be from our heart and God-given talents.
Mark made the drive joyfully, despite his exhaustion from our extra early Saturday morning commitment at Creekmont Church. We love our new church so much, he insisted on being present and then opening the shop for me. He knew I needed rest and he protects me (and the world 🤣) from “hyped up Carol”. Mark wasn’t upset that the Good Lord knocked me out so hard, I didn’t wake until after 3. He never said it was my fault for his late departure of 4:18—he was thrilled I received the true rest I needed.
My husband serves in so many ways like this one. One of my soul sisters, JoJo, knows we have jokes about his “Apostolic actions”, as well. Mark has helped her a few times with various “man tasks” around her home. He loves helping others and JoJo is always so authentic in her gratitude. Heck, Mark even gifted her some Eagle Rare Bourbon for her retirement party last year. He has such a generous heart and spirit!
Anywho, Mark left Saturday at 4:18 pm and was safely home 27 hours later. I picked him up shortly after 7:18 last night and we stopped to split a fantastic steak dinner.
While I have SO MANY BLESSINGS to write out and share, I am just tickled he was blessed to come home a day early. I sleep better when he is home, in general. But, I confess I was thrilled for several reasons and equally excited how he was blessed with no charge for cancelling a hotel reservation with less than an hour or two notice and for finding 95 dollars he forgot about on Venmo- how Jenn chose to pay for the gas and his airline ticket. And, bonus blessings like the flight attendant looking at his 6’5” frame and graciously telling him he was welcome to his favorite emergency section seating.
The extra added bonus blessings for me was being able to be present at ONJJ with Mushaffa and Miss Vee today. As this post has run quite long, there will be a separate post today to honor what God did at the gym.
What a GEM!
Thank you, Jesus, for this Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness with you. I praise YOU for all the colors, beauty, grace and my current position. I love, love, LOVE having your seatbelt around me. I love you. 💜✝️💜
This morning, I flipped to Isaiah 22–23—pages in my Bible that had never been marked, which is rare for me. And as soon as my eyes landed on the words, “You saw the breaches in the wall…” something in my spirit stirred. Breaches. Blind spots. Exposed places. The kinds of openings in jiu-jitsu that an opponent takes instantly.
Isaiah 22 is a picture of vulnerability—cracks in the defenses, unseen angles, places where we try to fix things ourselves. But the Spirit whispered, “Daughter, you do not guard your own back. I do.” Then chapter 23 shifts the tone completely. From judgment to sovereignty. From exposure to restoration. It is Yahweh saying:
“I see the openings. I see the places you cannot protect. And I will be the One who stands behind you.”
Not an accident.
Not a coincidence.
A setup.
Later, the Lord gave me a song—“Stay” by Zahriya Zachary—and as soon as I heard it, I felt the seatbelt.
That secure, unbreakable hold in jiu-jitsu when someone takes the back with intention, with closeness, with stability. The moment the song said, “If my head’s on Your chest, I can hear Your heartbeat,” it felt like the exact pressure of an arm across the shoulder. Then “If my hand’s in Your hand,” felt like the underhook that completes the seatbelt.
The whole song is a spiritual rear-mount revelation:
He closes the space between us He breathes life into me He anchors me He guides my movement He knows my soul He holds me with no holding back
This is the ultimate jiu-jitsu metaphor:
Jesus has my back.
And not loosely.
Not casually.
Not “spiritually symbolic.”
But in the most real, embodied way—like an instructor settling behind you to protect, to steady, to teach.
In jiu-jitsu, the back is the power position.
It is the safest place for you and the most dangerous place for whatever opposes you.
It is control, guidance, protection, and presence.
It is where the breath is felt most closely.
It is where trust is necessary and surrender is holy.
And today, the Lord gave me a picture of Himself taking my back with a perfect seatbelt grip—an embrace that says:
“I see every breach. I know every blind spot. You don’t have to defend what you can’t see.
Stay close to Me. Stay tethered.
Let My heartbeat steady you. Let My breath fill your lungs. I’ve got you.”
Isaiah 22 exposed the walls.
Isaiah 23 showed the restoration.
And the song “Stay” wrapped it all in the reminder:
“This is the gift of My great love—so stay.”
Stay close.
Stay tethered.
Stay held.
Stay in the position where He guides your movement and guards every unseen angle.
I love that my Savior has such a sense of humor.
He knew exactly how to speak to me today—
in the language of breath,
the language of the mat,
the language of intimacy,
the language of grappling,
the language of a daughter learning a new art and a new obedience.
Jesus has my back.
And because He does, I will stay.
Thank you, Jesus! Thank you for ONJJ. Please use Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness for YOUR GLORY.
I woke up this morning with “Hey, hey, hey!” from Fat Albert in my head. It made no sense at first, but that’s exactly how the Lord works with me. He uses the oddest little threads to pull my attention toward something holy. And of course, once something like that hits my spirit, I can’t let it go. I looked it up and learned that Fat Albert first aired on November 12th of 1969 — and somehow the date, the repetition, the sound of that “hey, hey, hey” settled into me like a breadcrumb trail.
As with any word or message, I search Scripture.
Floodgates!
Hey — ה — the fifth letter. The breath of God. The soft exhale that changes everything. It’s the letter He added to Abram and Sarai when He made them Abraham and Sarah. It’s the letter of grace, revelation, openings, divine breath, the place where God says, “Behold.” The more I sat with it, the more I realized how much He has been teaching me through fives and breath and revelation without me even knowing the structure underneath it.
Hey isn’t just a sound; it’s an invitation. It’s the place where He breathes Himself into a life and names it again.
And I think that’s why it moved me. Because so much of my journey right now feels like one long, loving exhale from the Father — His breath over my bones, His breath over these scriptures He keeps circling me back to, His breath over my remembering. Every time He reminds me of a verse, every time something lines up in a way I can’t explain, every time I whisper “I see what You did there,” it’s hey. It’s His breath.
There are two “Heys” in His Holy Name YHWH. #ISWYDT
The fact that hey is the fifth letter just feels like another God-wink, because He has been speaking to me through fives for so long — grace on grace, breath upon breath, revelation after revelation. It’s the little openings He keeps giving me, the way He keeps showing me things at exactly the right moment. And it all started today with “Hey, hey, hey” echoing in my spirit from a cartoon that aired decades ago. Only God can take something like that and turn it into a doorway.
That’s what hey is for me now — a doorway, a breath, and the quiet reminder that He is always teaching me, always revealing Himself, always drawing my eyes back to Him.
I see what You did there, indeed! Thank you, Jesus!
Today was my fourth time on the mats at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu. Tyler was teaching and it is Q&A day — which meant the room felt open, curious, and full of little moments where someone else’s question unlocked something in me. Six men, myself, and the instructor… but I never once felt out of place.
I was completely present.
When drilling time came, Tyler paired me with Isam and Sterling. Isam is a pinch shorter than me but far stronger and Sterling would be considered a heavyweight. Both were helpful and I felt no discomfort or awkwardness.
To me, jiu-jitsu feels like a sacred dance, where bodies become teachers and breath becomes instruction.
The drill was one I hadn’t seen before: someone lifts one of your legs and controls it. The instinct is to panic or freeze, but the technique teaches calm pressure. You take your hands and squeeze inward toward their elbows, arms, even their shoulders — not to hurt, but to create just enough space to recover your balance. That tiny moment of relief is where the “step” happens. You plant your other foot, rotate, and it’s almost like opening a door and then slamming it shut as you step back and pull free.
A simple movement… but full of metaphor.
Something else caught my eye: head placement matters. Watching the more experienced men drill, it was a good question for me to understand the basic rules of head placement.
If I’m holding someone’s right leg, my head should align under their right armpit. That positioning protects both partners and gives structure to the movement. I noticed the larger partner had drifted his head off to the side, so I asked Tyler about it — and he confirmed the importance of alignment.
Form matters. Intention matters. Structure matters.
I learn best by watching first. If I anchor the instructor’s form in my mind before I try it, my body follows more naturally. That was especially true today.
I drilled with Isam and Sterling and it was wonderful.
There is such kindness in the way God keeps showing me His heart on these mats. Strength that doesn’t overpower. Instruction that disciplines without shaming. Brothers who partner respectfully without hesitation. A space where I get to learn, grow, and be sharpened — and also show up fully as the woman He is forming.
I want to keep marking these days, because each one teaches me something that will find its way back into this book that isn’t done yet — this book God is still writing in real time on the mats, in my heart, and in the lives He keeps intersecting with mine.
One step, one sweep, one turn — and doors keep opening and closing under His hand.
And one more thing…
When I left the gym and headed home, I called my husband. I needed to get ready for an appointment before going into the shop, and I just wanted to check in with him.
The first thing he said was, “You always sound so happy when you leave that place.” Then he repeated the same sentiment in different words.
His confirmation matters to me. He is my spouse — my covenant partner, my witness, my encourager. And hearing his voice recognize the joy in mine… it touched something deep.
The Lord keeps affirming this path through so many voices — even the ones closest to home.
As an added bonus, I really dig the rapper, NF, as Tyler shared a video that had over 650k views since last night. The song is called FEAR and it moved me. I think the last rap song that moved me is more than 20 years old from Eminem. 🤣
I just looked and now there are over a million views in less than 24 hours.
God is so good Thank you, Jesus, for a glorious day!
Father God, Thank You for opening my eyes to the Hebrew roots of pride and the Greek words that reveal its many forms. Pride is always the absence of wisdom and the absence of genuine love.
Where pride grows, love shrinks. Where love shrinks, relationships fracture. Where relationships fracture, the enemy rejoices.
Only you, Jehovah Rapha, heal the root.
Holy Father Abba in Heaven, I come to You as Your daughter, seeking deliverance from every form of pride— seen and unseen, confessed and unconfessed, known and hidden.
Lord, Your Word says clearly “Love does not envy, love does not boast, love is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) So I ask You now: Destroy everything in me and in Your daughters that is not rooted in love.
By the power of Your Spirit, tear down every high place where we have lifted ourselves above another.
Strike down the swelling pride of ga’ōn (Obadiah 1:3; Isaiah 16:6).
Bring low the lifted heart of rūm (Deuteronomy 8:14; Obadiah 1:4).
Break the stubbornness of zādōn (Psalm 119:21; Deuteronomy 17:12–13).
Soften the haughty eyes of gāvah (Proverbs 21:4; Psalm 131:1).
And wash out the sourness of ḥāmatz (Psalm 73:21 [“my heart was embittered”]; Exodus 12:15 as the leaven-warning tied to pride), before it spreads into bitterness.
Lord, kill the bitter root. Kill it completely. Kill it at the source. Do not let it grow back. Do not let it entangle Your daughters or choke out sisterhood, unity, and peace.
Holy Spirit, lay down a new foundation: a foundation of humility, a foundation of gentleness, a foundation of wisdom from above— pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruit (James 3:17).
Father, let Your love cast out every fear, every comparison, every jealousy, and every wound that pride tries to cover.
In the mighty name of Jesus, I renounce all pride. I renounce every bitter root. I renounce every spirit that brings division.
Plant in me—and in every sister— a heart that loves like You love, that listens like You listen, and that bows like You bowed when You washed feet.
Let us love more and more by your perfect example.
Make us one, Lord. Make us whole. Make us healed. And let Your Spirit guard our unity with Your peace.
Today was such a beautiful Wednesday. I went to get my hair done and had the sweetest, most meaningful conversation with Becky—my dear friend, my hairdresser, and the pastor’s wife at our church. Every visit with her feels like a little ministry moment—two hearts sharing stories, laughter, and faith.
Today was in particularly different in that I shared my Messianic experience when I learned Becky’s sister and three of her daughters are Messianic.
I didn’t have enough time to warm up and roll at jiu-jitsu today, but I still went and observed. And honestly, it felt like a spiritual experience just to watch. I saw how intention was born on the mat—how every shift of weight, every exchange of energy carried its own story. When partners switched, the entire rhythm changed—body type, flow, and balance transforming the interaction completely.
The loving way they taught and corrected one another reminded me so much of how the Lord disciplines us—not in harshness, but in love. Gently guiding, refining, shaping us through each encounter until strength and grace meet as one.
Even without stepping on the mat, I left feeling deeply connected—part of something living and breathing, a quiet lesson unfolding before me. Sometimes the holiest thing we can do is simply observe, and let His Spirit show us what we might have missed in motion.
Thank you, Jesus! As I wore my ONJJ “Positive Energy Activates Constant Energy” purple Tshirt- I must smile and giggle a pinch as the Blonde Polish Chick I am. The tshirt spells PEACE upside down. I see what you did there. #ISWYDT. I love you.
My God Room 