Father God,
You inspired cartwheels all summer and catapulted me into jiu-jitsu two months ago. I praise you for the physical healing and everything else! It’s fun to tell people “Not a GLP —-totally G. O. D.” Coach Jesus had me digesting Scripture Pie with all kinds of perspective, intention and execution while circumcising “7 Stone” from my frame. I love, love, LOVE “Jesus PIE”. It’s the only thing one can scarf down daily to improve their health. Thank you. You know how much I love you.
When I think you must tire of my singing, I now rebuke myself for even thinking such nonsense. In fact, I believe you are fond of the one based on John 17:17. All my little ditties are for you —or they are silly songs with My Gingerbeard Man, mostly about our dog. I am so grateful you gave me a husband with such a great voice, creative spirit and a stellar sense of humor.
I am beyond grateful for the songs you send me and how you move me. Please send MP a song or another WORD to lift his spirit. In Jesus’ sweet name, please comfort all who are struggling with impending divorces.
Thank you for letting me get the KDP ID situation resolved and nudging me to go ahead and send the first 20 pages of Black Belt Wisdom sent with a note. Offering it for consideration was the right thing to do. Contingent on his response, I may need to reword page three or possibly adjust the quote content. Since there are 11 days before Master Luiz’ birthday, waiting three days is reasonable. Of course, I will wait until you direct the next step, regardless.
Jesus, I love you. Thank you, a bajillion times over.
Category: blessings
Mama Carol Pocket Hugs
Wowza. I have not posted anything here about our Christmas Eve celebration with my family or Christmas Day with my husband yesterday. Tons to write out, but perhaps those stories are not meant to be shared here.
Instead, I will share my Christmas FB post:
Yesterday, we played “Santa’s Helpers” and delivered a gift to my hubby’s best friend and his wife before 10 am. We enjoyed a leisurely day of home cooked goodness and I napped on our couch with our dog. We then enjoyed Mexican lasagna (huge hit) and a sweet evening together. It was a peaceful Christmas.
Despite the amazing nap, I was exhausted and asleep before midnight. However, the Holy Spirit revved up His engine and woke me several times with clarity. The first nudge was to remember “Give the Garden away”. He has me write things down to not forget, because we all forget on occasion. So, I searched the phrase and found the blog HERE.
It’s so very true and bears repeating…the only truly special thing about me is how God loves me.
Throughout the wee hours, He led me to two other posts, as well. It felt like He was guiding me to create a “Welcome to Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness introduction video. In short, a simple explanation for why this BPC is supposed to “give the garden away” by offering personalized quote books for BJJ gyms.
What should be simple has felt complicated all day.
These are the three blogs from the past two months I was directed to read and pray about:
My husband received a timely invitation to play golf with friends. So, I am at the shop the day after Christmas.
Feels like I am on high alert …or something. 💜✝️
The visit I must detail is with two ladies who have been together for a decade, Cheyenne & Lauren. I love the sweetness and silliness they emulate. It has been fun getting to know them as individuals and as a couple. Our first meeting they learned my Morgan, her friends and other customers call me “Mama Carol.” I had not started jiu-jitsu yet. The second visit, I invited them to join me any Sunday @1:00 at ONJJ. They got a kick out of the invite , how BPC-157 is a “real thing” and why I have always embraced Ditka’s nickname for me. I sense they will take up the invite some day.
Today was our third meeting and our first Godversation.
After a fun visit and paying for their transaction, I felt a sudden nudge I couldn’t ignore.
I went and grabbed a Mama Carol “pocket hug” and gave it to Cheyenne, reminding her of what I told them when we first met back in early November—that my daughter, her friends, and so many customers call me Mama Carol.
When I placed that coin in her hand, she broke down. That’s when I learned her mama, Shawna, passed away on October 6th at just 55 years old.
It was all I could do to remain composed. I learned how her mom died and it broke my heart further. The depth of her loss was palpable. The three of us were in a group hug for an extended time. Lauren encouraged me that the pocket hug could not have been more perfect or at a more perfect time for her wife.
I told them “hey, I’m not religious- but I love, love. LOVE Jesus and clearly, Jesus loves you, too”. -#ISWYDT.
We chatted about My Mamaw Ruby and the significance of “55” to me. Then I shared how my Mamaw visited us in Germany when I was a kid and my favorite memory was going to Holland on a family trip so my Mamaw could see the tulips.
Cheyenne and Lauren looked at each other the way married couples do. Imagine my shock to learn they are honoring Shawna’s own deep desire to “see the tulips”. They are traveling to Amsterdam in May! Of course they are going in May. Only God orchestrates such intricate details. 💜✝️💜
After spending the past seven years in our Smyrna shop, getting to know our Boro customers has been a blessing for me. Though I do not need confirmation about my hobby’s awesomeness, it’s been a huge blessing to meet so many impacted by my husband’s huge heart. Today, I am thinking of Brother Mike —-who also has a baby named Ezra. I am so excited to meet Baby Ezra #2! George & Ashley also brought Luca and Teddy to visit.
Thank you, Jesus!
Lingering with Jeremiah 12
Happy Friday! The past 48 hours have been truly spirit filled in the best of ways. Lingering with Jesus yesterday was much needed to decompress. Our shop was incredibly busy today —– Praise God! I was late leaving, but need to post yesterday’s notes about Jeremiah 12.
When I made it home Wednesday night, Mark and I had a deep conversation about numbers, finances and budgets. Our least favorite type of conversation, yet necessary. We prayed together a little differently.
I woke extra early and it was the first day I had an opportunity to sleep in. I snuggled up with Mark, took a sip of coffee and told him I needed to go back to sleep. Ha! The Lord had other plans for me.
Within a few minutes, I was nudged HARD to have Mark flip open my Bible. I told him,”can’t rest until you flip for us”. He flipped to Jeremiah 12.
God had already written His response in Jeremiah 12. Not rushed. Not harsh. Just steady, honest truth for a weary heart that’s learning how to listen instead of striving.
In my heart- just seeing 12:3 always makes me think of how Isaiah teaches “with JOY I draw from the wellspring of salvation.” And John 12:3 – reminding me that pouring out like Mary – for Jesus- is everything.
Jeremiah asked what so many of us ask quietly: Why do the wicked seem to prosper while the faithful struggle? And instead of correcting the question, God answered it—with perspective.
I read the entire chapter out loud to Mark and we agreed it was encouragement for us both. Then, I was not only able to rest, I slept until 10:20! The Good Lord woke me in just enough time to brush my hair and put on clothe for jiu-jitsu at 11. It was super nice to learn I am a good accountability partner for John and to get additional private instruction after class with Blackbelt John, as well.
Here’s what stayed with me about Jeremiah 12 all day.
First, God is not offended by honest questions. He welcomes them. But He also reminds us to stay rooted while we wait. Lament is allowed; accusation is not. The conversation itself is part of the relationship. Dedicating that time each day is super important to me.
Second, the pressure I feel is not punishment—it’s preparation. When God says, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how will you compete with horses?” it’s not a rebuke. It’s a reminder that endurance is being built for something heavier, something ahead that requires stronger spiritual legs than I may have today.
And third, even God grieves. Jeremiah 12 reveals a Father’s heart that hurts over unfaithfulness—but still leaves the door open for restoration. Discipline doesn’t cancel mercy. Judgment is never His final word for those willing to return.
I didn’t wake up with clarity. Still, I woke up to answers—waiting patiently on the page. ISWYDT.
I love, love, LOVE when the Holy Spirit gets me with the old 1-2-3. I love His laws and precepts. I love that meditating on His Word is such a feast.
Thank you, Jesus.
1 Chronicles 21
Yesterday, before the day ever unfolded, the Lord had me in 1 Chronicles 21. More specifically, this time my husband flipped to the same pages I flipped to 11/19/25. Do I see the difference a month can make? #YESSIR! Mistakes, mercy and consequences combined with a piercing note about being the HUB. It’s rare He has me wait to post, as He is doing this evening.
One of the sweetest surprises of the day was Miss Omie walking through the door. Last week was her birthday, and I had shared the 12:11 Scriptures with her. Yesterday, she returned exuberant and with three physical gifts—-A prayer journal with birds on it, a necklace, and a precious Christmas ornament from her Joy Club.
The greater gift was her literal presence and learning maybe, just maybe, why the Lord often has me write about cherries on top of His proverbial sundaes. #ISWYDT. That humbled me more than she could know. When she wanted us to take a selfie, I was tickled to pieces!
The rest of the day was…work. Real work. Problems that required attention, patience, and follow-through. Square issues. American Express issues. Product listings. Orders that needed fixing. Nothing dramatic—just one thing after another. And I handled them the only way I could: one thing at a time.
In the middle of all that, I learned something hard. We lost a substantial amount in business last month. That number landed heavy. It means we need to make some serious decisions, slow down, pray, and talk. At the current pace, it will be a blessing if we are still open a year from now. It is a reality which can’t be ignored.
There may be another sacrifice —yet to be determined.
And yet—this is what I don’t want to miss—I felt the Lord with me all day. Not loudly. Not urgently. Just steadily. I felt encouraged even when irritated. Corrected without condemnation. Strengthened without panic.
That’s the heart of 1 Chronicles 21 for me yesterday.
God does not abandon us in responsibility. He meets us there. He allows us to see clearly and feel the weight. Only then does He invite us to deeper connection. .
My obedience certainly isn’t glamorous and it doesn’t always make sense to those around me. I only know radical obedience has led to radical results.
Today, I was beyond blessed to simply linger with Him. Perfect peace. No work -not a stitch. He woke me just in time to make jiu-jitsu and resolve a financial matter at the bank. After that, it has been me and Jesus all day long and it has been glorious!
Thank you, Jesus!
Job 7:11
In this season of doors closing and opening, it feels like my head is on a swivel. Everything feels like an ISA 22:22 “door”. Connection upon connection is both beautiful and similar to playing “memory jenga”.
Jesus holds EVERYTHING together, including me.
MySpace Memories converge with Our Gracie and BJJ Gracie’s, Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness, my 40 year NEHS reunion planning and everything else. Everything feels super-connected. Just this morning, I saw a post from 12 years ago from My Chrissie.
Yesterday, the best thing on my human brain would have been to sleep in after the week I experienced. That was NOT God’s plan. Instead, I needed to get up early to take Mark to pick up his vehicle. Despite feeling “off”, I went to One Nation Jiu-Jitsu and experienced great teaching. All in all, a stellar day, capped off with watching Tracker and another show with my husband. We went to bed early and I slept deeply.
Around 5 am, the Holy Spirit was nudging me back to Joe Rogan Episode #2358. “What did he actually say—-check the transcript”. Sometime during the last two weeks, I know I had already done this. So, I searched my photos for the screenshot “receipts”.
It’s not my first early morning rodeo with the Holy Spirit. That said, it is the first time I can recall being spurred further to see what I missed. Because, quite frankly, Jesus wasn’t happy with the receipt I kept on my phone. So, I searched that episode number on YouTube and was stopped dead in my tracks.
It also explains to me why WILDERNESS was attached to Jiu-jitsu—-without me ever fully knowing why.
After He started buzzing around my brain, I had two of the best hours of sleep possible. When I woke, I grabbed my Bible and flipped. I am meeting Miss Dottie to drop off her order before going to see Miss Becky and getting my hair cut.
I have the option of a leisurely day but MUCH to get accomplished. Best option for me is to ground my day in His Word. What fascinated me was learning most of the notes were from May 2025 onward.
At first glance, all I could do was wrestle with the vapor of 5/30/25, 7/27/35 @Casa Mull #ISWYDT, and “lingering” on 8/12/35. Almost instantly, it was contrasted against notes from 11/4/2018, “ Lord, teach me where and how I have been wrong so I may learn and be better reflection of you “
The note from 11/25/18, “Lord, please humble me and teach me why you brought me here again today.”
He had me wrote those notes SEVEN years ago for His good purpose. Not shocking to me was to see the red marker used on 7/27/25 —- the same day I made a Romans 8:28 note. Maybe it’s only funny if you know my habit of enlarging font when He makes a point. Romans 8:28 is actually in the study notes. For me to “write it down” larger is an inside joke, so to speak.
What stands out now are the green highlights from today—fresh, alive, and unmistakably present.
They don’t erase what came before; they build on it. It feels like God is saying, “ You learned what you needed then —-I’m teaching you something new. The same Scripture, the same voice—but a deeper invitation. Not to revisit old pain, but to recognize growth, and to keep learning with an open heart.
I see what He did there…relationship with Him is a whole lot like Jiu-Jitsu. The GrandMaster keeps showing off for The BPC in Tennessee.—-and I am ever-so-grateful. Good heavens, I don’t deserve it—-but boy, oh boy, am I grateful.
Thank you, Jesus.
Ask. Seek. Knock.
Until this morning. I don’t recall the last time I rolled out of bed at 9:20. I was up around 6 am and went back to bed. My days are jumbled after an exceptionally long week without my husband. Still, we both wanted to attend church, be with our people and pay our tithe. We had under twenty minutes to brush our hair and get dressed.
Still, it was a peaceful drive to church. I shared Megan Wood’s “Royal Blood” and Elevation Worship’s Radio version of “Trust in God”. It felt good to share two of the songs given to me in his absence—-then to sing Christmas Carols at church with Mark.
Today’s sermon was Matthew 7:7 — Ask. Seek. Knock.
I’ve been living in variations of 7’s and 14’s for a while now. I just wrote in the past few days about “Bangles Suzanne” losing both her mother and grandmother on July 14, different years. 7+ 7=14.
What stood out most was the reminder that these are not suggestions. They are commands. Present imperative tense. Ongoing. Repetitive. Continuous.
You don’t ask once. You don’t seek once.
You don’t knock once and walk away.
You keep asking. You keep seeking. You keep knocking.
Christmas itself is an invitation, and so is this passage. God is not bothered by our pursuit—He invites it. In fact, Matthew 7:7 feels like proof that God wants His kids just a little stubborn… stubborn enough to keep chasing Him.
Brother Shad said something that made the whole church smile—he talked about telling his wife “I love you” every day since the first time he ever said those words to her.
I couldn’t help myself and said, “Aww,” out loud, Suffice it to say, the church agreed and it was a beautiful, light moment of sweet laughter. But it landed deeply. You don’t say “I love you” once and call it done. Love is daily. Pursuit is daily. Relationship is daily.
There was a moment where I felt a surge—and then heard that same surge echoed through Shad’s sermon.
There was holy fire being stoked with each word out of his mouth.
He shared about praying for something for fifteen years and enduring the silence. My note was “ must stand in the gap. After church, Mark and I prayed together for that very thing, whatever it may be, to be answered. We don’t need the details, The Boss has every last one covered. Our job is to intercede, especially when being nudged the way I was being nudged. I prayed out loud while Mark drove.
Crying out in submission and pleading is not weakness—it is active pursuit.
Lamentations 3:58 has been in my heart again: “O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul.”
And yet, here I am, still pleading—because that’s the invitation.
Jesus even brings humor into Matthew 7:7. Then again, I am a huge fan of Divine Humor and love it when others acknowledge it. Brother Shad talked about giving a good gift of a pink bicycle and having it not be received the way one would expect. When he mentioned his red-haired Olivia, and my heart immediately thought of a friend who lost her baby Olivia last summer.
I owe Miss Kristin a phone call. 💜✝️💜
In the same breath, I couldn’t help but think of a gift I recently gave—something placed with love and obedience—that hasn’t been acknowledged at all.
I confess—-in my flesh—- that stung. Of course it did. Still, I remember Jesus wept, too. While I haven’t cried about the lack of acknowledgement, it’s because the Holy Spirit has told me quite clearly my job was to be obedient. I did exactly what He told me to do and even painful obedience makes my soul do a “happy sigh”.
So, the Lord met me there too. It’s not about the response. My part was obedience and that part is done.
Today’s sermon laid directly on top of that truth.
Psalm 84:11 says, “No good thing will He withhold.”
Luke 11:13 reminds us that God gives what we need, not always what we want.
James 1:5 says to ask God for wisdom.
James 1:17 reminds us every good and perfect gift comes from Him. My son’s birth announcement is 25 years old and that was the verse printed before he arrived on his due date.
So, yes—we resist, and we keep resisting. We knock, and we keep knocking. We go back to the beginning again and again.
I thought of my daughter today—more than once. At first, I thought of her when Shad talked about a VW Bug he got wrapped like Herbie for Olivia. Later in the service, I kept picturing all of God’s kids seeking His attention. I pictured how my own get my attention.
My daughter will call out “Mom, mum or Lois”over and over, like Stewie in that cartoon. It made me smile, because that’s exactly the picture Jesus is painting. Repetition. Dependence. Persistence.
Lord, forgive me for the moments it hurts when someone tries to squash what You are singing through me. It’s not about me. It’s about You. Help me remember that.
Ask.
Seek.
Knock.
And keep doing it. Thats the job. Love everyone on my path exactly where they may be. Love them all in truth and action. Yessir.
December 11 Prayer
Since I shared this to Miss Omie’s Facebook page, I failed to post it here on her actual birthday. Today is “catch up” day in countless ways.
I am fairly certain Jesus wants me to give gifts like this to those I love. I know how He used creating this one for Omie to draw me even closer to Him. Miss Omie’s is the first —-so I should remember the day He spurred me on. May she always know how precious, set-apart and special He made her!!!💜✝️💜
Whether one verse or ten, His Word will always be the best. I’m so blessed to know and love Omie.
Thank you. Jesus!
Tethered in The Wilderness
This morning started like so many others in this Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness season of mine—me stepping onto the scale. For many years, I enjoyed finding an accompanying Psalm to “weigh in” with whatever I may have flipped to in the Bible.
When I fell down the stairs in March 2022, I was 239 pounds. By October 2023, I was in the 180’s. Fresh eggs and “consider the source” led me to the 160 range.
When I got down to 150, I started reading the exact “Psalm of the Scale”. Letting the Psalms “weigh in” has taken an even deeper turn.
Oh, fair warning, today’s post will be a doozie.
This morning, I weighed in at 141.4.
I was tickled to check Facebook in the potty and see a sweet message from Elaine! In her honor, took a pic from my car this morning. She is 77 and widely known as “Jiu-Jitsu Grandma”. Beautiful soul.
Heck, I didn’t ever post the Jiu-Jitsu manicure and pedicure stories. Now my nails are just at the edge of my fingertips, the shortest they have been in decades! Seeing them in this photo just made me make a mental note. 💜
I digress. It is what I do, at least from time to time.
Most people would see a number at the scale of 141:4 and go elsewhere with it. This may very well be the best chance to explain to someone in the world how Jesus “speaks” to me. I firmly believe He speaks to his kids differently—-they are all unique relationships.
I can’t help that My Jesus led me to feel 13 again these past seven months. Seven complete months as of today. Oh, I see what He did there, too. #ISWYDT
I saw 14 / 14 / 14 / 14. Fourteen forward. Fourteen back. Blonde Polish Chick Brain or Jesus? I’m sticking with Jesus!
Just thinking of the three versions of Black Belt Wisdom makes my head spin. So sweet how Sandra wanted to buy my copy of it at the shop today! Seven weeks doubled” , forward and backward was the second version. This is why Version 2 had 49 quotes forward and 49 more backwards. Seven weeks each.
The Master Edit to offer PRECISELY 44 pieces of cardstock and 88 quotes to give Master Luiz and ONJJ confused me a pinch. Why not 40? These are questions I pray about and wrestle with Him over. I’m going to do what He says, regardless. I just seek to understand. The Boss said 44 and that’s what I gave.
What a perfect gem and different double blessing from Jesus! The number honors Mamaw Ruby’s 100th, my 44 years without her (May 8) our Oszczakiewicz Gracie and Rolls Gracie, as much as it honors ONJJ & Master Luiz!
Just like that, the childlike joy bubbled up and I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me, “Pay attention, sweet daughter of Yah. I’m speaking.”
And so I did what I always do.
I weighed with the Psalms. Literally.
I sent my husband the KJV “ dainties version” first. I know my Ginger Beard Man’s humor and knew he would dig the dainties. 🤣. I also know he needed to know I was focused on the verse prior- when sending the second version.
When waking and weighing, I never flip open my Bible for the verse. For whatever His reason, I am not to look at it or any notes He has had me write until AFTER I google the verse based on the scale.
I typed “Psalm 141:4” into Google to see what language heaven might choose to deliver through the internet today. This response reminds me of typing in “ISA 63:7” and getting Psalm 63:7. Yeppers, Jesus holds the internet together, too.
The first headline stopped me in my tracks:
God has kept Zahira Zachary singing this very track, “Stay”, over me for two plus weeks. I love, love, LOVE the grappling language. Mark has been leading our Prayer of Jabez since October! He just left me “my wilderness stone” on Saturday, before he got on the plane. Lots of repetition, so perhaps spiritual muscle instantly connected me to ZZ’s “Stay” and 1 Chronicles 4:10 in the same breath.
I accept it is a possible result of spiritual muscle. However, I think it’s far more about His leverage over my life. I take such tremendous joy in submitting to His Will and to Jesus, Himself. I personally do not believe it has anything to do with my strength or spiritual exercises. It’s all about Jesus.
I just really dig the way THE Alpha & Omega talks to The BPC-157 in Tennessee and how He continues to heal me. 💜✝️💜
In the song, Zahira sounds angelic singing:
“I will stay tethered to You, You close the space between us.
I wish I could explain exactly how it feels. The Lord has been stitching a message through every crack of my days, in every little detail. Good heavens, I just talked to my husband for longer on the phone than I can recall.
We talked about Jesus- Starr -First-Kings-Jiu-Jitsu and a bunch of Dad/Joe, ice cream, passports and TT. That is shorthand for the Godversation which will now be remembered as “ Silhouette: God Sent Moses”. 💜✝️💜
I can’t recall our last phone Godversation that lasted more than ten minutes. We talk a lot in person, not on the phone. Even when he is traveling, we typically keep it short. Whatever His Purpose, I just know I am to write it down—-it matters for reasons I don’t fully understand.
I am to note that “Elizabeth Street” in Florida is connected all God did through My Assisi Elizabeth. My husband doesn’t even know yet . He sent me those pics after we got off the phone! #ISWYDT! God rest her soul and may her girl be thriving in Japan. Here is a “quote-link” to the day I learned my Assisi Angel earned her wings:
Praise God, obedience doesn’t require understanding. It just requires action. So, I am writing it all down in one blog, as directed.
Maybe, just maybe, I feel like a Gen X teenager because I talked to my boyfriend for 47 glorious minutes! The harsh truth is as much as I love my earthly husband, I will always love my heavenly husband more. But, I am giddy to have connected with my earthly love for such a long time.
Mark told me their cabin steward’s name is MOSES. He knew I would get a kick out of it, too. I said, “of course God would send you a Moses for your wilderness at sea!” We had good laughs on the call. Belly laughs!
I saw a full pattern this morning, or so I thought. We never see the full pattern; we are not the Master Designer. But, I saw far more of how the tapestry is stitched together. Then my husband was used to put another cherry on top of another Heavenly Sundae, with Moses . 💜✝️💜. #ISWYDT
Today— Monday, December 8, 2025, I weighed in at 141:4. It’s been tough to add a few pounds ; ideally building up muscle to 150 is the goal. I was nudged to search my ridiculously large photo library for photos of “scale”.
Divine Humor nearly made me piss in my britches! The last time I weighed 141:4, precisely, was the day we finished watching Episode 2358 of the Joe Rogan Experience. Three days later, I posted the link above which tells the Lamentations 3:58 story.
How perfect “Miss Ellie” came in today. 💜✝️💜
Here’s the thing—Psalm 141 isn’t just a prayer. It expresses the human tension of remaining tethered to the One who made me.
It’s the cry of someone who knows their heart is safest only when it’s bound to God. It is the joyous and the grieving tears which have formed two different streams of tears in my 57 years. It’s grief and gratitude intertwined like…grape vines. #ISWYDT2
“Set a guard over my mouth…Keep my heart from drifting…Don’t let me wander into wickedness…
Psalm 141 is the Prayer of Jabez in different clothing.
Not chapter and verse. Not theology. Not in “accepted commentaries”, yet absolutely the commentary Rabbi Jesus is whispering to my heart.
It’s the same Spirit in both. The posture, prayer and surrender are equally yoked between the two Scriptures.
It is a holy awareness that without His hand, we drift. Without His voice, we wander. Without His covering, the wilderness is too much.
It is no accident on Saturday—before any of this unfolded—my husband left town only after printing out the Prayer of Jabez onto green paper and cutting it the way he did.
A stone is always a marker in Scripture. A covenant—-a crossing place and physical reminder that God met you here. My husband “met me in the lab”—- that’s where he left me what the Spirit interpreted to me as a “wilderness stone”. Our marital covenant with each other and Him are all represented in that piece of paper. 💜✝️💜
It makes me smile because Mark probably thought he was just being thoughtful. But in the Spirit, he was participating in something far bigger—marking the very place where God was about to speak Psalm 141 over my 14:14:14:14 morning.
That’s the thing about walking with the Lord in these seasons. He hides messages in plain sight and leaves breadcrumbs in the wilderness.
He sings to me through worship leaders I’ve never met. He speaks through numbers I could never plan to see.
He threads Scripture through songs, stones, scales, and silence.
This has nothing to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with JESUS.
And all of it came down to one word today:
Tethered.
Stay tethered to Him in the wilderness…He will enlarge the path beneath your feet.
Stay tethered in obedience…He will bless you in ways that only make sense in hindsight.
Stay tethered in the stretching…He will double what needed doubling.
This morning wasn’t about weight. It wasn’t about numbers. It wasn’t even about Psalm 141 or Jabez.
It was about the Father closing the space between us, whispering through His Word, His People and His Creation…reaching His Right Hand down to guide my day.
And the wilderness—my Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness—-suddenly didn’t feel empty at all.
It felt holy.
Marked. #ISWYDT
Sung over.
Held.
TETHERED.
And, in true BPC style, I feel like the child playing tetherball Zim-Zam with my sisters at Mamaw and Papaws house. what a precious memory, knocking the heck out of my front tooth and everything!
Thank you, Jesus. What a glorious seven months you have given me. I could never thank you enough !!! How cool to realize I CAN say “never” and mean it—-Never ever could I thank you enough for ALL you have done fore me, mine and humanity.
Thank you for every opportunity you give me to try.
Coaches and Professors
After being long winded on Facebook, I had no time to write the letter by hand for Master Luiz. In the land of me- The BPC- it equated to Divine Humor striking me again. Oh, how it goes with the best laid plans.
Today was “Give it Away” day. By that, I mean give the original working copies of Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness: Black Belt Wisdom to Professors Cliff and Pedro, for Master Luiz. These are the “stones” and echoes the Lord has used to train me in this new wilderness season. It simply had to be today, as Pedro is leaving later tonight or tomorrow.
I had three time sensitive tasks. Find a proper card worthy of Master Luiz, deliver the quote books and arrive at the shop in time for Mark to make his flight.
Lord, may he and his dad enjoy all your travel mercies and blessings. May their cruise be blessed.
That left me 17 minutes to clean up, get dressed and leave the house.
Being me, I decided to give a card from the heart. It’s only counts as sacrifice if it costs you something, right? Well, I have kept a beautiful hand-crafted “you are my sunshine” card for over 20 years. I love, love, LOVED the memories attached. It takes me back to what God did in MySpace for Make a Difference Day.
I wrote my full name and phone number on the back. That’s it. I didn’t even have time to jot down the Psalm 78 scripture I didn’t even take a photo of it. Kind of weird, but also perfect. Master Luiz is exactly 9 years and two days my senior.
May brevity bless us both.
Being the BPC I am, I also had to honor my Chrissie for making me the book I am holding in this photo. Sillies for her Sunbeam has been in my prayer closet for almost a year. Today, I will make Chrissie a special gift, as now I have acquired the proper tools.
Thank you, Jesus, for always, always, ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS having my back.
For posterity, here is the Facebook post. It screams to be included because the center image is cut off at the place it says “create your own “ and the bottom word is SUNSHINE. That’s Divine Editing as far as I am concerned. There was no BJJ quote book, so I literally created my own.
For clarity, the center post was 12 years ago. It was roughly six months after our “Oszczakiewicz Gracie” went to heaven. Our Gracie (24) died 31 years (plus one day) after Rolls Gracie, (31). Our Gracie passed in a tragic car accident and Rolls in a hang gliding accident. I have been imagining their Godversations and wondering what my own earthly father would agree, “the qualities and character existing inside truly make me my father’s daughter”. 💜✝️💜
Rolls became extra important to me once I learned he was Master Luiz favorite Professor/Coach The link above the one for my dad goes to Anabel Grace Lee’s obituary. It talks about her living life on a “higher plane” and I’m fairly certain some angels have been working overtime on behalf of Polish-Chinese-Americans everywhere. Our Gracie would have hang-glided with Rolls, no doubt.
Bottom line, this gift honors so much more than The Gracie Family, BJJ, Master Luiz and ONJJ. It honors my Oszczakiewicz and Mull roots, as well. Most importantly, it honors the One who sent me to ONJJ via Joe Rogan and Chadd Wright on Episode #2358.
Excuse me while I giggle about about “JRE #2358 popped the BPC’s BJJ cherry.” 🤣🤣🤣
Without further Adieu…
9 photos from this day over 16 years…Rather perfect is the center image. #ISWYDT
And, for the cherry on top, when Mark left the shop, I went to the lab. My sweet GBM left me the best encouragement, without knowing anything about what the Lord is showing me about my wilderness stones.
Yeppers, the Blonde Polish Chick has “stones” of the best variety. The stones Father God gave me are getting polished quite sweetly these days.
Thank you, Jesus. I remain in awe. 💜✝️💜
Thank you, Jesus! You made me a a catalyst-coach-cheerleader for your purpose and I dig how your right hand guides me. I love you. 💜✝️💜
“Stay” is a Bridge
Sometimes a song doesn’t just settle into the background of your day. It becomes a doorway.
I was driving, minding my own thoughts, when the line came through the speakers. Not dramatic, not even loud—just a reminder that what I have been given is “is gift of His great love.”
Zahara Zachary, I pray every human hears your talent and the song, “Stay”.
I wasn’t thinking about traffic, or errands, or anything practical. I was back in the heart-space where I first learned that I am invited, not because I earned it, but because I am wanted.
Jesus loves me big time. He loves you big time, as well. He had my spirit tied up in Psalm 5:7. 💜✝️💜
There is a point in every journey when you stop asking whether you are allowed to be there. When you stop apologizing for entering the room. When your head stops bowing from shame and starts bowing from reverence. That shift is subtle, but it changes everything.
I still haven’t written about purchasing a one year membership at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu – yesterday- but I know I belong there as much as anyone else.
The song is the bridge between where I was and where I’m going.
It reminded me of the girl I was at sixteen buying a sweater she didn’t think she deserved, and it reminded me of the woman I am now—walking into a dojo for a full year of training, not as an outsider, but as someone who belongs.
Same heartbeat. Different posture.
Love opens the door. But there comes a moment when love also hands you the key.
That’s Isaiah 22:22.
Not because you demand authority, but because you have learned to carry obedience differently. Because you understand the weight of what has been entrusted to you. Because you’ve walked through enough wilderness to know the difference between performance and calling.
This particular song illuminates what was already buried under the years: I enter by grace continue for His Good Purposes.
And maybe that’s the most beautiful thing…
Realizing I don’t just get to walk through the door.
I get to hold it open for others.
Thank you, Jesus. 💜✝️💜
My God Room 