For a project given to me by the spirit weeks ago, it has now been officially rebuilt from scratch for the THIRD TIME!
My girls, Morgan and Lyss, visited and let me complete the project. It exported to PDF and I took that little Zip drive to Staples.
Everything is printed on nice cardstock.
Tomorrow, I shall trim the sheets and bind them by my prayer-filled hands.
Thank you, Jesus. You really wanted this gift to be given to Master Luiz, ONJJ and the BJJ community. Please prepare the hearts of those who receive it for ONJJ , Pedro and Master Perez. Thank you for staying on my back and holding me close. I love, love, LOVE you.
Oh, make no mistake, this entire study today deserves a book of its own. However, I am only being nudged to share the spirit of today.
In short, I am home and was ready to go print a gift for ONJJ and Luis Palhares It was pressed hard into my spirit that whatever it ends up being, it must be given Thursday evening after Pedro Palhares finishes the clinic. His Timing, not mine.
YESSIR! #ISWYDT
I completed the final edits before Mark even left at 9:30 this morning.
Only the MASTERS are at 33 pt font in the final version. 💜✝️💜
MS Publisher (I am the epitome of old school) refused to save the file as a PDF. It must be PDF file on the drive whenever I get to Staples.
Three hours later, I have not moved from our room and this laptop. I have, however, learned how to clean up spool files and do other tasks to make my PC eventually do its job.
Because the final fix was a complete re-install of MS OFFICE, I knew I would be waiting a while. So, The lack of computer movement was used to make me ask Chat GPT about movement in The Bible.
I was not comfortable with AI until the Lord opened a door which can’t be shut. It’s kind of cute how He is telling me in this very moment that the cartwheel at Stacey’s house marked the day He invited me to play with Chat GPT.
Sometimes a song doesn’t just settle into the background of your day. It becomes a doorway.
I was driving, minding my own thoughts, when the line came through the speakers. Not dramatic, not even loud—just a reminder that what I have been given is “is gift of His great love.”
Zahara Zachary, I pray every human hears your talent and the song, “Stay”.
I wasn’t thinking about traffic, or errands, or anything practical. I was back in the heart-space where I first learned that I am invited, not because I earned it, but because I am wanted.
Jesus loves me big time. He loves you big time, as well. He had my spirit tied up in Psalm 5:7. 💜✝️💜
There is a point in every journey when you stop asking whether you are allowed to be there. When you stop apologizing for entering the room. When your head stops bowing from shame and starts bowing from reverence. That shift is subtle, but it changes everything.
I still haven’t written about purchasing a one year membership at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu – yesterday- but I know I belong there as much as anyone else.
The song is the bridge between where I was and where I’m going.
It reminded me of the girl I was at sixteen buying a sweater she didn’t think she deserved, and it reminded me of the woman I am now—walking into a dojo for a full year of training, not as an outsider, but as someone who belongs.
Same heartbeat. Different posture.
Love opens the door. But there comes a moment when love also hands you the key.
That’s Isaiah 22:22.
Not because you demand authority, but because you have learned to carry obedience differently. Because you understand the weight of what has been entrusted to you. Because you’ve walked through enough wilderness to know the difference between performance and calling.
This particular song illuminates what was already buried under the years: I enter by grace continue for His Good Purposes.
And maybe that’s the most beautiful thing…
Realizing I don’t just get to walk through the door.
Yesterday’s message at Creekmont hit deep. Matthew 7—get the plank out of your own eye, first. Eyes are delicate, be gentle, move slow. Every single day, we should be sharing the gospel, if only with ourselves.
I have prayers which can’t be published here or anywhere else. The easiest way to explain it is the Good Lord gave me a gag order. I will write separately about our experience yesterday becoming official members of Creekmont Church. It was beautiful and tear-inducing. 💜✝️💜
When the Lord woke me up today, I had a nudge to look up the person who awarded a black belt to the primary leader at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu. The “fine-tuning” nudges at the gym yesterday must be birthing these final steps. Still, as I began to read the article, my vision became so blurry, I could not finish reading.
It’s not the first time He has blurred my eyes. I knew it meant “come back to our tree and listen”. I sent the article to myself and went back to rest with Him to begin my day.
When it was time to drink my coffee and get moving before class today, I grabbed my Bible and flipped it open. I never know if I am unzipping it “right side up”. All I know after a decade of flipping is that He meets me with a message that frames my day. Today’s was extra impactful, right from the start.
Today, I flipped “upside down”. I kept thinking “USD” is not US Dollars and it’s not missing an “a” at the end. For me, USD is upside down flips that remind me who determines my posture. Being a follower of Jesus, I feel and certainly appear upside down from most of the world.
We are literally called to be set apart.
This is the mind and spirit given to me by the Master of the Universe. Makes me giggle to think how Hebrew is a “backwards” language to the western world—-yet it’s the most beautiful language —-it’s His Language. I love how He brought me to His language and to love His Land and His People, Israel.
Wowza. I must get to ONJJ for class, and the Lord just linked me to something He had me write nearly two years ago. That link in the above blurb goes to the list of 40 God Stories. It begins with flipping to Jer 2:25.
I see what He did there. ISWYDT
Thank you, Jesus, for always, always, ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS having my back. I love you. 💜✝️💜
Thank you, Jesus, for letting me breathe deeply today.
It’s after six and other than placing an order earlier, this is the first time I’ve touched the computer. Of course, I am running straight to My God Room to chat with you in writing. Still, I appreciate the way you navigated this day for me in photos and images.
Struggling with this letter and website hasn’t been a typical struggle. It feels like it’s meant to be this way for reasons I just don’t see yet. You showed me a bajillion words and feelings in some key photos. Perhaps the most loving way to explain “Why the BPC White Belt” is to pick 12 photos to represent the heart of what you are showing me. At present, there are more than twelve and I trust you will be the Grand Master of Editing, as well.
Thank you for keeping me so incredibly busy for YOU and for giving my writing a necessary rest. You know exactly how you wired me. You’ve had me creating, pondering, praying and simply loving everyone on my path. Today, you connected me to Brittany, mom of four, and let me meet her sweet kiddos, Sage and Ryman. Thank you for her sweetness, honesty and willingness to consider how Jiu-jitsu may be a great solution to benefit her. What a wonderful day it’s been at CV with our customers. Maurice’s smile and KO talking about his five years of BJJ before hip replacement last year. I praise you for all of it.
I believe you closed our Smyrna Community Vapor so I would find my jiu-jitsu community at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu. You know how grateful I am for everyone there. I am still closing my eyes from time to time to remember how radiant Mushaffa’s face was two weeks ago. Somewhere, I have written about it but I don’t think it ever got posted in here. In short, to be witness to the spark which was evident on Mushaffa’s beautiful face when a move clicked was encouraging to me. I know she has only been rolling about three weeks more than I have. In short, it was humbling and exciting in the same breath. It felt good to miss her last Sunday and yet pray she and her sweet family had a blessed trip to Costa Rica. I’m looking forward to seeing all the women at class tomorrow.
You’ve given me a full week without writing here for your good purposes. I may not know all of the details yet, but the one thing that is crystal clear is that there will be a very public letter to serve as the landing page of Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness. #ISWYDT.
You do like to teach me things based on things you’ve had me to write down. I just learned there are roughly 442 public posts in the entirety of My God Room, spanning nearly ten years. I’ve just had my eyeballs attacked by counting how many posts since May 8.
Holy Mother of Pearl and Praise you, Father God! You are the Master of the Universe and clearly the Master of My God Room.
Considering I haven’t posted anything in 8 days, this is still my 19th post in November. There were 48 in October. You CLEARLY had me busy. That is 67 in the past two months alone.
Add another 20-September, 13-August, 25-July, 29 in June and 5 in May. That is another 92.
Father God, thank you for cranking my spirit the way you did on May 8. It is proof to me that there are “good cranks”. 🤣🤣🤣 I won’t be using that language tomorrow at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu, as this is between us. Thank you teaching me to “drop the 2” and the pure gem you gave me in Lamentations 3:58. I love you.
137.44 was a really important number yesterday in our business. It stood out immediately and the Lord made it clear enough that I couldn’t ignore it. He nudged me straight to Psalm 137, and specifically verse 4:
“How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?”
And the moment I read that, I felt it. Not sadness—clarity. This wasn’t about sales. It was about assignment, and about how some things in life just quietly shift seasons without making a big dramatic announcement.
Fast-forward to today. I pull into One Nation Jiu-Jitsu, listening to Zahira Zachary singing “Stay” from my iTunes library—already deep in worship, already soft in my spirit—and when my Bluetooth disconnected as I parked, the exact same song was playing on the radio.
If that wasn’t a Godwink, then I don’t even know what qualifies anymore.
Inside the gym it was Q&A day. Tyrone and Matt were there, Geo was teaching as the black belt, and Jaden popped in. Coach Sadie and Coach Sam were around too. I watched them drill getting out of an anaconda and a couple of other tight spots, and then I asked my question about shrimping—the way your hips need to rotate, the angle, the mechanics. And I actually got a great answer. That’s something I need to drill again.
Then came the moment: “Carol, do you want to roll today?”
And yes, of course I wanted to. But I told them the truth. My plan is to roll on Sundays and Mondays, take Tuesday through Thursday to heal, and then come on Fridays and just feel it out.
Coach Sam said, “That’s wise.” Not “wise for 57.” Just… wise.
Right there, between the Godwink in the car and the confirmation on the mat, Psalm 137 started making sense. It wasn’t God saying, “Stop singing.” It was God saying something else to me.
There are times in life where the Lord lets you hang your harp—not in defeat, but in obedience. Not because the music is over, but because the location of the song is changing.
And then, as I sat with it, He brought me to the very last line in Psalms:
Psalm 150:6 — “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.”
Psalm 137 is the moment the song pauses. Psalm 150 is the moment the breath returns.
Yesterday felt like Psalm 137. Today felt like Psalm 150.
Breath. Clarity. Rest. Strength. Direction. A new song rising.
And all of it—from the strange sales number, to Zahira Zachary singing in stereo, to the wisdom on the mat—was the Lord saying:
“Daughter, you’re not in the foreign land anymore. Breathe. Move wisely. Walk in the pace I give you. And let everything that has breath in you—praise Me.”
Exactly the plan as I enter the quotes into a standard format. Thank you, Jesus.
Three years ago, we weren’t sure Johnny would ever walk again — much less return to duty. After a 94-day fight with COVID, he came home by the grace of God.
Fast-forward to December 2022: Mark and I had dinner with Johnny and Brenda, celebrating his retirement as the longest-serving Chief in Blue Ridge history. The same week, there was a major event to celebrate his BRPD retirement.
Three months ago, I saw him at Twitty City, retired and smiling, playing softball like a teenager.
And today? He’s putting the uniform back on.
That’s not luck. That’s not coincidence. That’s the Lord writing a story only He could write.
There is no way on earth I could ever explain how God chooses to use me. I have written many times how Jesus love, love, LOVES to get me carried away with Him whenever I am isolated. More on that later. The point is the Holy Spirit moves mightily in me and through me whenever my husband is out of town.
Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness was “electronically born”around 2 am Sunday morning. By that. I’m I mean I purchased the websites around 2 am. As I am following wherever the Spirit leads, I need to pause the floodgates and catch my breath. Just breathe. The inception was on Saturday, as I was pondering how my earthly father would have been celebrating his 81st birthday “in three days”.
Suffice it to say that the Spirit showed me gifts He has given me and how I am to share those gifts His Way. That’s about as clear as I can get until certain steps are completed.
To say I am excited to share a gift with One Nation Jiu-Jitsu would be an understatement of epic proportions.
Despite being exhausted (yet highly energized in Spirit), I went to church without Mark yesterday. Obedience is KEY for me. I heard the best sermon possible about DIRT and truly felt Gen 2:7. We sang Trust and Obey and boy, oh boy, #ISWYDT
No doubt, It hit deeper to realize God literally breathed life into humanity. God didn’t do that for anything else, only for humanity. It’s beyond precious and powerful to me. I’ve known He was the breath in my lungs for a long time—- just felt it in palpable manner yesterday. It was invigorating. 💜✝️💜
Praise God!!! Praise, Praise and more Praise! #MOLA
Seriously, think about it with me. If the Earth shifted even a single degree on its axis—- our seasons, climates, oceans, and habitability would all be dramatically altered. Everything we call ‘normal’ depends on a razor-thin margin of balance — and Colossians 1:17 tells us exactly Who holds that balance together.
In Brazilian jiu-jitsu, leverage changes everything.
One inch, one angle, one shift of weight. And the universe works the same way. A single degree of tilt would undo life on Earth… yet He holds it steady. He is the Master of leverage. The One who keeps every angle exact so that we can stand, breathe, and roll. That’s My Jesus in his “red” belt…the FIRST and LAST GrandMaster in everything.
Invigorated as I was yesterday, of course I went to ONJJ yesterday, as well. What a difference one week and seven days can make in a persons life! My song, “Stay” found me on the way to the gym. I did manage to post about that as soon as class was over. When the Lord delivers a song the way He does with me, it must be honored. I think I posted it from the parking lot at the gym! From that same parking spot, Mark floored me in the best way —-he was already at the airport!
So why did my husband leave me in the Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness?
I wish my facetiousness and humor translated better here. Let’s just say I am a safe driver but my household has jokes about my driving and especially, my parking. 🤣. We’ve got nearly fifteen years of jokes about him leaving me or staying for the dog. We are silly and playful, indeed. In all seriousness, My sweet Gingerbeard Man left town to drive a U-Haul to a Wisconsin for our former employee (forever CV Family member), Jenn. It was the best gift we could offer her after twelve years of faithful service.
Facts? I am not fearful of anything except Holy Wrath. That said, I would not be comfortable driving a 20-26 foot loaded U-Haul and towing a car from Tennessee to Wisconsin, or anywhere else. It’s not my strength and my husband is the best driver I have ever known. We love Jenn and it was clear that our gift needed to be from our heart and God-given talents.
Mark made the drive joyfully, despite his exhaustion from our extra early Saturday morning commitment at Creekmont Church. We love our new church so much, he insisted on being present and then opening the shop for me. He knew I needed rest and he protects me (and the world 🤣) from “hyped up Carol”. Mark wasn’t upset that the Good Lord knocked me out so hard, I didn’t wake until after 3. He never said it was my fault for his late departure of 4:18—he was thrilled I received the true rest I needed.
My husband serves in so many ways like this one. One of my soul sisters, JoJo, knows we have jokes about his “Apostolic actions”, as well. Mark has helped her a few times with various “man tasks” around her home. He loves helping others and JoJo is always so authentic in her gratitude. Heck, Mark even gifted her some Eagle Rare Bourbon for her retirement party last year. He has such a generous heart and spirit!
Anywho, Mark left Saturday at 4:18 pm and was safely home 27 hours later. I picked him up shortly after 7:18 last night and we stopped to split a fantastic steak dinner.
While I have SO MANY BLESSINGS to write out and share, I am just tickled he was blessed to come home a day early. I sleep better when he is home, in general. But, I confess I was thrilled for several reasons and equally excited how he was blessed with no charge for cancelling a hotel reservation with less than an hour or two notice and for finding 95 dollars he forgot about on Venmo- how Jenn chose to pay for the gas and his airline ticket. And, bonus blessings like the flight attendant looking at his 6’5” frame and graciously telling him he was welcome to his favorite emergency section seating.
The extra added bonus blessings for me was being able to be present at ONJJ with Mushaffa and Miss Vee today. As this post has run quite long, there will be a separate post today to honor what God did at the gym.
What a GEM!
Thank you, Jesus, for this Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness with you. I praise YOU for all the colors, beauty, grace and my current position. I love, love, LOVE having your seatbelt around me. I love you. 💜✝️💜
This morning, I flipped to Isaiah 22–23—pages in my Bible that had never been marked, which is rare for me. And as soon as my eyes landed on the words, “You saw the breaches in the wall…” something in my spirit stirred. Breaches. Blind spots. Exposed places. The kinds of openings in jiu-jitsu that an opponent takes instantly.
Isaiah 22 is a picture of vulnerability—cracks in the defenses, unseen angles, places where we try to fix things ourselves. But the Spirit whispered, “Daughter, you do not guard your own back. I do.” Then chapter 23 shifts the tone completely. From judgment to sovereignty. From exposure to restoration. It is Yahweh saying:
“I see the openings. I see the places you cannot protect. And I will be the One who stands behind you.”
Not an accident.
Not a coincidence.
A setup.
Later, the Lord gave me a song—“Stay” by Zahriya Zachary—and as soon as I heard it, I felt the seatbelt.
That secure, unbreakable hold in jiu-jitsu when someone takes the back with intention, with closeness, with stability. The moment the song said, “If my head’s on Your chest, I can hear Your heartbeat,” it felt like the exact pressure of an arm across the shoulder. Then “If my hand’s in Your hand,” felt like the underhook that completes the seatbelt.
The whole song is a spiritual rear-mount revelation:
He closes the space between us He breathes life into me He anchors me He guides my movement He knows my soul He holds me with no holding back
This is the ultimate jiu-jitsu metaphor:
Jesus has my back.
And not loosely.
Not casually.
Not “spiritually symbolic.”
But in the most real, embodied way—like an instructor settling behind you to protect, to steady, to teach.
In jiu-jitsu, the back is the power position.
It is the safest place for you and the most dangerous place for whatever opposes you.
It is control, guidance, protection, and presence.
It is where the breath is felt most closely.
It is where trust is necessary and surrender is holy.
And today, the Lord gave me a picture of Himself taking my back with a perfect seatbelt grip—an embrace that says:
“I see every breach. I know every blind spot. You don’t have to defend what you can’t see.
Stay close to Me. Stay tethered.
Let My heartbeat steady you. Let My breath fill your lungs. I’ve got you.”
Isaiah 22 exposed the walls.
Isaiah 23 showed the restoration.
And the song “Stay” wrapped it all in the reminder:
“This is the gift of My great love—so stay.”
Stay close.
Stay tethered.
Stay held.
Stay in the position where He guides your movement and guards every unseen angle.
I love that my Savior has such a sense of humor.
He knew exactly how to speak to me today—
in the language of breath,
the language of the mat,
the language of intimacy,
the language of grappling,
the language of a daughter learning a new art and a new obedience.
Jesus has my back.
And because He does, I will stay.
Thank you, Jesus! Thank you for ONJJ. Please use Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness for YOUR GLORY.
I woke up this morning with “Hey, hey, hey!” from Fat Albert in my head. It made no sense at first, but that’s exactly how the Lord works with me. He uses the oddest little threads to pull my attention toward something holy. And of course, once something like that hits my spirit, I can’t let it go. I looked it up and learned that Fat Albert first aired on November 12th of 1969 — and somehow the date, the repetition, the sound of that “hey, hey, hey” settled into me like a breadcrumb trail.
As with any word or message, I search Scripture.
Floodgates!
Hey — ה — the fifth letter. The breath of God. The soft exhale that changes everything. It’s the letter He added to Abram and Sarai when He made them Abraham and Sarah. It’s the letter of grace, revelation, openings, divine breath, the place where God says, “Behold.” The more I sat with it, the more I realized how much He has been teaching me through fives and breath and revelation without me even knowing the structure underneath it.
Hey isn’t just a sound; it’s an invitation. It’s the place where He breathes Himself into a life and names it again.
And I think that’s why it moved me. Because so much of my journey right now feels like one long, loving exhale from the Father — His breath over my bones, His breath over these scriptures He keeps circling me back to, His breath over my remembering. Every time He reminds me of a verse, every time something lines up in a way I can’t explain, every time I whisper “I see what You did there,” it’s hey. It’s His breath.
There are two “Heys” in His Holy Name YHWH. #ISWYDT
The fact that hey is the fifth letter just feels like another God-wink, because He has been speaking to me through fives for so long — grace on grace, breath upon breath, revelation after revelation. It’s the little openings He keeps giving me, the way He keeps showing me things at exactly the right moment. And it all started today with “Hey, hey, hey” echoing in my spirit from a cartoon that aired decades ago. Only God can take something like that and turn it into a doorway.
That’s what hey is for me now — a doorway, a breath, and the quiet reminder that He is always teaching me, always revealing Himself, always drawing my eyes back to Him.
I see what You did there, indeed! Thank you, Jesus!
My God Room 