Category: prayer

Yes, Sir!

On By mygodroomIn obedience, prayer, UncategorizedLeave a comment 
Father God, I do not know why you put this on my heart to share at such a late hour last night. I do know I woke up with minor discomfort instead of the havoc-wreaking pain for the first time in five days.  I know I woke praising you and feeling strong, after praying for strength the past two days.  I thank you for Nancy and how what she shared was so meaningful to Deloris. I thank you for using me to convey love and comfort one of your daughters.  I thank you for the conversation with Justin yesterday and everything else you are using to bust my heart wide open.  I thank you for giving me a husband after your own heart, Lord; only your Son has ever loved me more on this earth. I am humbled greatly by how we are seeing more of you in my children.  You are so present in our lives, Father God!  I thank you for your word, direction and inspiration.  The past three days have been a whirlwind, but what a beautiful one.  I will share the half of the letter you want saved for Your Purpose and I pray in Jesus' name, it will glorify you.  I love you so much.

It would mean a great deal to me if you would consider praying about being able to help them truly connect. …….  they aren’t connected, truly connected, to any of the younger parents with younger kids.

I know them well and know it is their hearts desire to grow real relationships within the church.  They don’t like intruding when others are busy trying to leave, or when others who do know each other are gathered and having such fun.  So, it has been nearly impossible for them to find one “open” young couple for introducing themselves.

(Paragraph of details about the families deleted)

These two families are two of several heavy on my heart.  I know one church can’t be all things to everyone.  I am also sensitive to the fact that (identifying details edited)   So, I am sensitive to your busy-ness and obligations but it’s being pressed HARD that you may be the person God wants to use to help nurture the (Name)  and (Name)  families.

I do understand if the answer must be “no”.   But please know that I’ve been in the most awkward and amazing state of obedience for close to three months.   I no longer ask if anything makes sense on paper.  I pray about everything and the Holy Spirit has been planting intense compulsions on my heart and ideas in my head that I know are not from my analytical brain.   Every single one that didn’t make sense to me at first, made perfect sense within two weeks.  Most within a week, some the next day. So, I don’t question His process with me anymore.  I just say, “yes, sir” and do what He leads me to do.  Only Jesus could make me write this mini novella to a virtual stranger.

Here is the latest, because it made me giggle.  A few days ago, I was praying about how my heart was hurting for people feeling unloved (not the *redacted* or *redacted* families) and asking for guidance on how to love them in a way good for them and Him.  Then, I was asking Him for strength (Nehemiah <3) because I am human and I was a wee bit frustrated  with sending repetitive emails. The gist of what was revealed is that, yes, love is a repetitive action and it is very annoying to keep asking people do anything.   Then He imparts to me that is exactly why the greatest COMMANDMENT is to love.  We are called to love in action and deed.  And He isn’t “asking.” Hence, the “yes, sir”.

Please forgive me if this seems “too much” on the surface.  If it were me, I would say “hey, can you make it a point to meet these two families and pray about how to help nurture them in our church and in their lives?   That just isn’t what He wanted.  So, out on another limb, I trust Him.  I pray it serves His purpose.   I believe it does because my heart is now joyful in obedience at a ridiculous hour.  With that, I bid you good night!

 

Fear is the ugliest Four letter Word

On By mygodroomIn hope615, obedience, prayer, UncategorizedLeave a comment

That is the word and spirit which is on my heart at 2:10 am.  My heart aches for any group of people who embrace Fear over Love.  It’s an epidemic, really.  Our kids, our country, our world.  It’s painful.  My heart is pouring tears over my face as I type.  When we are truly loving others the way we are called to love others, there isn’t much room left to allow fear.

The past two days have run the gamut of emotions.  I have known extremely high joys and felt the depths of hurt.   Thank you, Lord, for showing me WHY you needed me to hurt over this situation.   What is pushing through my heart right now is a sort of lump in my throat at the same time.  How amazing is our God?  He put me where He wanted me, called me to act, held me close and dared me to love Him and others in  new and different ways in the middle of a storm.   When I was obedient, He let His peace wash over me.  Never have I uttered words in prayer as I have today:

“Father God, I do not understand why you may have planned this project to fail as it exists, but I do trust your plan is to use this potential failure to your glory.  Anxious expectation is the best phrase to define where you have me.   Thank you for removing my defenses and just letting me love every person involved to the best of my ability today.  My prayer is that you plant the spirit of the project in all of their hearts.  You tell us it doesn’t matter who does the planting or watering, only you can make things grow.  Grow us all ,Lord, in your way, in your time, to your purpose.  I love you.

Confession

On By mygodroomIn anger, blessings, music, obedience, prayerLeave a comment

Mark has a 1991 New International Version Bible.  If you search the NIV today, the word “confess” is not present.  However, when I opened his Bible this morning, Romans 10:10 said, “For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

I am fairly certain no one on this earth could understand the depth of what I felt this morning better than Mark.  He completely understood that out of the entirety of every word on that page, the word “CONFESS” took me back to our conversation yesterday morning.  I believe God is leading me to really look deeply at the subject and necessity of confession.  Scratch that, I believe He is leading US to look at it.

romans10v10

Yesterday, there was an intense, yet brief, period of disagreement between myself and my children.   They are teenagers, so this is not a foreign occurrence in our home.  Still, it was exceptionally brief and intense.  As they went upstairs to sulk, pray or think about it, I was praying and seeking guidance downstairs.  Ultimately, I texted them my apology for allowing anything to impact me enough to agitate me and asked them earnestly to forgive me, sooner than later.  Texting wasn’t an ” easy way out”, it was a thoughtful one.  When my kids are irritated, the fewer the words, the better.  It is hard for them to truly hear me and look at me at the same time when they are remotely upset.  Heck, it’s hard for them to hear and look at anyone at the same time, happy or sad!   Regardless, we had a wonderful evening and Mark was unaware we had any issues before he arrived home last night.


Today,  I am praying and considering the sins which I need to confess to anyone in my life.  What can I share in the most loving of ways to shed light on any darkness I may have brought into the world?  What could I say to my mother?  What things should I share with my husband?  My children, friends, church family?  Bottom line, I do believe the “Catholics got confession right” in the spirit of needing confession.  I don’t believe one must confess to a priest.  Mark and I talked again about how the cross changed everything.  We can take it all to Jesus, yes.  But, what should we confess among ourselves?

Father God, thank you for loving me enough to give us your son, Jesus, on the cross.  Thank you for every opportunity to make restitution in our daily lives.  I pray you will use whatever is broken in me to let your light in even brighter. I pray you will reveal to us those transgressions you would most desire for us to confess.  Thank you for the talent in Jason Gray and using it to speak to my heart.   Thank you, so very much,for using me with Sarah to have her find you in “Grace Wins” by Matthew West.  Thank you for all the music, all the words, all the melodies and for the choir of every angel on this earth.I am overwhelmed with your songs and your silences, Lord.  The tears which flowed down my face this morning, knowing you are speaking me, are priceless. I am so grateful you have given me a husband chasing your heart with me, Lord!  Thank you for letting me share with our friends, again, YOUR power and grace in removing their obstacles to buying their new home.  Thank you for allowing J &D to see the new life you are blessing them with dance and wave at the doctor’s appointment this week.  Please keep this treasure safe and bring the new baby into the world in such a way that everyone will praise you as much as they do.    Knowing you used me with Sarah to bring her directly back to you in such a real way is priceless, as well.  How perfect we are worth more to you than rubies and sparrows.  Yesterday would have been my Mamaw Ruby’s 90th birthday.  Thank you for the 13 years you gave her to me, as well.  Please, Heavenly Father, keep your hand on the Tunnell’s so firmly they feel your power when their son arrives this week.  May we all sing your praises and give you thanks for all the blessings in our lives. 

 

 

 

Jude did not let me down

On By mygodroomIn blessings, hope615, prayer, UncategorizedLeave a comment

My husband and I have both been very sick with summer flu-like nonsense the past few days.  I haven’t been able to sleep because of additional female  aches and pains beyond the norm.  Still, the two hours I spent studying the Book of Jude this morning  was invigorating.


The past several weeks, God has ensured I learned exactly what He wanted me to better understand for His purpose. Much is documented here in My God Room, even when I have not been able to completely write out my thoughts or prayers. Much is discussed with my husband, as well.  Some is only captured in pictures on my phone.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing some pictures to be worth one thousand words!

Today, God used the Book of Jude to drive home a few key points :

1) BeIng saved by grace does not give us indirect permission to sin. At minimum, Jesus’ blood and suffering on the cross should humble us to be better human beings.

2) Loving others should equate to being willing to warn them of false teachers and to protect them. The devil is worse than a vehicle out of control on the roads or any physical dangers we can see.  Surely, I would pull loved ones from those dangers.  I should not have any fear about overstepping or  ensuring they know the Truth, the Way and the Light.

3.  Being willing to fight for Jesus in all things Kingdom- focused is imperative.  Nothing is more worthy of a fight!  The Bible says “contend” for His purpose.  God made sure when His people  tested His word and spirit, they would realize why he said “contend” to Jude.  At the time it was written, the Romans took their sports and games as seriously as we do those in today’s world.  Contend is in the spirit of fighting and competing!

4) God is in control.  Never forget this key truth.   He wants us to love Him and know His almighty power, Grace and mercy.

Maybe it was super- invigorating today because I read a long article last night on how to see Christ in others on  Patheos.org.   I went to bed with a humbled heart aching to be more like Jesus.  Our God is so thoughtful and powerful!!  So many of the insights He gave me during my morning study time applied directly throughout my day.


My day ran the gamut between my morning with Jude, teenage daughter drama over washing/killing her iPhone, listening to my husband’s feedback, work related challenges, suffering physical pain and great conversation with my son.  Truly, it makes my heart feel complete to know He was truly with me each step of my day.  Jude even teaches us to be merciful with unbelievers, which applied to some of the work challenges. 

Although my kids are both saved for His Kingdom, I believe God used Jude as a cushion to soften a few parenting blows today.   In fact, several conversations went very well which could have gone very poorly.

After much back and forth with my husband, I respected his view that it wouldn’t necessarily be wise to tell my son he should offer his phone to his sister for the 5SOS concert tonight.   It would be a catalyst for him to be defensive and pick an unworthy fight.  Or would it?  All day, I had the Spirit in me telling me to very much embrace a fight for Him!   I even challenged my husband  by asking if he was ever shown compassion when he made mistakes growing up.

Still, when it was time for the conversation with my son, God gave me the perfect way to encourage my son through His word and not falter in human fear based on how my son has responded in the past.  It was a simple fact to tell my son my prayer is that he and his sister both learn how to see Jesus in each other and have a desire to BE Jesus to each other.  I “fought” for Jesus with a loving Spirit guiding me.  It was such a powerful realization after it happened.   He gave me the right words to teach my son the compassion I/He desires to demonstrate without the lesson falling on deaf ears.

Thank you, Lord, for all that you do every single day for us!

 

Be Still and Know

On By mygodroomIn anger, blessings, obedience, prayerLeave a comment

Lord, I know you are King of Kings and hold all of our days in your mighty hand.  I trust there are many reasons beyond my understanding for taking Brian Ragan home to be with you this morning.   My prayer in this moment is that Moira can be comforted by you in her time of grief and loss.  Thank you for allowing me to serve as a witness to your grace in my life in our conversations.  What a beautiful example she is of how a sister should love a brother.

I do remain firm in my belief you have directed the effort for me to become a living donor.  I have felt your presence each step of the way; comfort and peace which can only come from you.   All I know in this moment is that I will attempt to be matched for this 27 year old young man, Joshua,  who has suffered dialysis for five years.  I love that he sings your praises, Lord.  Furthermore, I  pray that if this transplant happens, we can sing them together and be witnesses to your hand over the transplant.

 

bestill

Praying with the Pastor’s Wife

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For over four years, we have attended Hope Fellowship.  We love the pastor, his wife, his entire family. My kids have grown into amazing teenagers under the leadership of their son’s youth ministry.  During those four-plus years, I think I have taken advantage of praying with a leader during Sunday service three times.  Today was the third time.

Roughly two months ago, I was led to investigate becoming a living kidney donor. I prayed with my husband about it and we both agreed it was the right decision.  I have long since had questionnaires filled and blood tested. I knew of a few local people in dire need of a kidney.  It was very clear in prayer that I was to pick a local person.  Of those, I was led to attempt to match to one particular person.   I was not surprised in the least when the tests revealed, indeed, I was a match.

We were halted in the process because the person to whom I have directed my kidney was not yet green-lighted or approved to proceed with the transplant.  During this delay, I learned I needed a mammogram and current pap smear, as well.  I have since completed those tasks.  During this time, the person who will likely get my kidney has had three surgeries.  Today was his third surgery.

It would be impossible to explain in a quick post the why’s and wherefore’s or details explaining how He brought me to the decision to donate a kidney.   I just know it is what He would have me to do for his Glory.  Since committing to His plan for me as I understand it, I have heard Jesus speaking clearer and louder than ever before.  I know He wants me to stay the course.   Every time I bear witness to the donor recipient’s sister, God is guiding that process, as well.

What we have not done is tell my children that this decision has been made.  Again, many reasons, but timing is everything.  Like all major decisions, I have prayed without ceasing about it.   Simply put, the need washed over me during our service today that I needed someone in our church to pray with me.  Specifically, I needed them to pray with me regarding how, when and what I tell my children in this process.  As I walked to the back of the congregation, I saw our pastor’s wife.  She isn’t always able to be there, but she was there today.  While the Pastor’s wife said a perfect prayer over me, God lifted my angst regarding my specific prayer request.

Thank you, Lord.  I do not know the exact words or time they will be spoken.  You, My Heavenly Father, know exactly what they will be.  I know you will give them to me when it is in YOUR time and not mine.

Waking up Crying

On By mygodroomIn anger, blessings, obedience, prayerLeave a comment

I woke up in tears today. I read my devotional in the bathroom and went back to bed. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me and could not shake it. Jesus basically whispered, “sister, it’s okay. You should love them so much it hurts sometimes. And that anger yesterday, you DO remember what I did to the tables at the temple, right? Let’s go spend some time and get you grounded for today.”

My Bible opens to Acts 20:19-20. My first thought was about 20-20 vision being perfect. Verse 19 comforts me with “I served the Lord with great humility and with tears,” a reminder that all Christians will have some tough times. Lord, please comfort my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ who woke up crying today, too. Verse 20 begins “You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you.” Lord, thank you for using Mark as a guest preacher yesterday and reminding me how the enemy seeks to stop us from serving as your ambassador. Thank you for the times you have put the words in my mouth which should be spoken, even if I don’t recall exactly what they were in the moment!

My tears are gone and peace is filling my heart at the moment.   Thank you, Jesus, for taking me to Acts 20 to consider how Paul preached the same message in different ways to different people.  It is perhaps one of the best scriptures to remind me how my blessings always outweigh the difficulties. What a great way to get grounded; my single purpose on this earth is to love and testify to the grace given us through Christ Jesus. Period.

As for my anger, I can not gloss over it.   Everything isn’t always perfect just because Jesus loves me and I love Him.  Add fuel to the fire of a human being in the form of menopausal hormones and it can be especially tricky.   The anger I felt yesterday was mostly toward my daughter. I wouldn’t classify it as anger as much as frustration, but the root was anger. I had to ask her to forgive me yesterday because I allowed her behavior to take my peace and joy.  ***REDACTED***   She is a young teenager and I am called to train her the way she should grow.  People are always going to be those things and we are called to be light in that darkness, too. My sadness for her entire generation is overwhelming.   Lord, please show me how you would like me to reach out to this younger generation in a way they can respond to you and your love accordingly. Please show me a better way to pause, reflect on you and allow my children and all of your children to see YOU in ME in those moments instead of anger.

One step at a time.  God, I am so grateful you are such a good, good Father.  I am grateful you are training me the way I should grow.  I am humbled by the lessons you teach me and the grace you offered me through your son, Jesus Christ.  He said it is more blessed to give than to receive.  Please let my life be used to bless you and praise your name. 

Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Third Time is a Charm

On By mygodroomIn obedience, prayerLeave a comment

This week, I prayed and wrote about learning the language of God.     Each day, I read my Jesus Calling devotional, study a random Bible flip and soak up whatever scripture is attached to the devotional.  Three times this week, I have been taken to prophets for which I previously lacked discernible knowledge.  Today was Joel.

We have out of town friends and guests visiting, a first time preacher at church and our worship leader must be on a much deserved vacation.  It’s been somewhat surreal.  Everything has felt a bit topsy-turvy  and yet exactly as it should be.  Mark spoke several highlights from Godversations and Jesus Talks this week.  There is only ONE way to heaven, ONE savior and we get ONE life on this earth to do our part.

Last night, I was up late sharing scripture and encouragement with the mother of my daughter’s friend from Colorado.  God put words on my heart which I almost doubted.  It is her story and not mine to share; I just second guessed the source of the words which flew out of my mouth.  I told my husband that I was really good with all of it and the late hour, only because I honestly believed I was exactly where I was called to be.

Still, I thought, maybe, just maybe, those were my thoughts and I doubted my motives in sharing them for about one minute.  This morning, Jesus hugged me and reassured me.   Yes, my child, you were doing and saying exactly as I planned for you.   Trust me.  I am here and I am on your side.

Always.

In awe of another day, more fulfilled prayers and this beautifully overwhelmed  and grateful heart He has given me.  Thank you, Lord.  I love you.

Cookie Crumbs and Kings

On By mygodroomIn obedience, prayerLeave a comment

When I have seven different moments I am excited to share, it’s incredibly hard for me to pick one. In fact, there are so many from the past week, it almost seems unfair to limit myself. Instead of trying to do anything in my own power, I go straight to prayer.

Father God, I know you are a good, good Father and trust your plans for me are more than good. Thank you for keeping your mighty hand on every aspect of our lives this week. Thank you for not only letting me feel your hand, but for using me to encourage others with your Holy Word. Oh, how amazed I was yesterday when you took me to Amos 1:1 for the first time in my life. I am so grateful you poured such loving grace into my morning routine with my husband; we trust you will be glorified in those grocery store moments when we see Famous Amos cookies!

You are everywhere and in everything. Nothing is too mundane, too small or trivial. Your truth resounded so loudly in my heart. Indeed, Lord, you are working through ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Please keep Moira and Brian close in your loving arms and continue to show them your awesome power, Lord. Sharing Jeremiah 12:5, Amos 1:1 and other random Bible flips with her has shown me that you are using me in a spectacular way for your purpose and Glory. Please help all of us to keep our focus on you and continue to give you all the praise you rightfully deserve.

As my heart is overwhelmed with all you have done this week. It is so like you, Lord, to lead me to another new chapter today in 2 Kings 2:1. Wow. As I studied your Holy Word and learned how Elijah and Elisha demonstrate exactly how you not only control great armies, but everyday details, I smiled. I remembered a sermon series and spirit of itot the everyday detail part.  You just keep showing me exactly how you are directing my thoughts, just as you directed the writer’s thoughts in 2 Kings. Thank you seems inadequate for the connection I feel in this moment. I have checked my motives from the minute you pressed it on my heart to become a living kidney donor. Mark and I have kept this decision to follow your will for us to explore living donation to ourselves until this week. You have removed all of the obstacles and have shown me in 2 Kings today that as long as our motives are pure, we should never be afraid to ask great things of you, God. Each step of the process, I have shared you, your power, your grace and your Holy Word with the sister of the man who desperately needs my kidney. As we get closer to the transplant surgery being a reality for your glory, it is generous and perfect of you to encourage my husband and I in such personal ways. We know you are in control and trust you with every fiber of our beings.

We love you. I am eternally grateful for every day I get to know you a little bit better.