Tag: bible

Stop Trying. Start Training.

On By mygodroomIn obedience, prayer, WooLeave a comment

Last night, I shared more details with my husband about Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness —-how Black Belt Wisdom is tied to White Belt Wilderness, 7 Stones and more. I was spiritually exhausted and a pinch teary-eyed over reaching the point where must write “ About the Author”.

I begged God for clarity and direction from a painful place last night. I cried while telling Mark about how He woke me to read “Give the Garden Away” a few nights ago—something He had me write more than two months ago. This has happened countless times since May 8, 2025.

To know, unequivocally, the Master of the Universe gave me this exact path and opportunity to serve—-well, it humbles me to tears.

That said, I struggle deeply with finding the balance of how much to share in an “About the Author”. I struggle because it’s not about me—-it’s all about The GrandMaster. I have been called to offer Black Belt Wisdom and it’s not easy to explain to the public how God works in our lives. Still, He is holding me steady and not letting the words flow.

I am listening. Waiting on His Timing is necessary.

In MyGodRoom, I can just be the hot mess I am without any reservation —-as proven by roughly 160 posts since May 8. I stand from the perception that we are all hot messes who need Jesus.

Why? Because the Lord directed every step of MyGodRoom. He brought me here to “write it down” for His Good Purposes over nine years ago! It’s okay that I don’t have all the answers, because I know The One who does. This has been a very safe place for me to grow closer and closer with Jesus.

Truth? I’m just a kid who loves Jesus more than anything else and my hearts desire is to please my Heavenly Father. Obedience isn’t always pretty, that’s for sure. And, He is directing me to begin sharing “MyGodRoom” type posts in the Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness.

As much as it makes perfect sense—-it feels like I am walking in naked to an open mat session with the entire world.

As if beginning jiu-jitsu at nearly 58 wasn’t enough of a challenge. 🤣. Still, I know that is precisely how He is placing the stones for me. I love that he is having my husband leave stones, too. Mark even offered to write a forward “about me”.

As I told Mark, the only thing truly special about me is how much God loves me—-He shows up and shows off, often. And, my husband was on point confirming it’s really the only special thing about any of us.

When He gives me the words, they will be written, period. He is the author of salvation and everything else.

This morning, I was nudged to flip before we ever left for church. I first prayed for two customers who both have babies named Ezra. But, it stood out to me that despite the other highly marked pages on Ezra—-He brought me to Ezra 8-9. Unmarked pages. Zero notes.

The nutshell for me is that Ezra 8 is all about training, discipline and alignment—-pure obedience Ezra 9 is about Holy Grief and repentance. Both pages were meant for me before we ever arrived at Creekmont Church.

We headed to church fully expecting to continue deep-diving into the Sermon on the Mount. We have literally been in Matthew every single Sunday since we began attending Creekmont.

Our first visit was September 21. Reading back through our first visit – HERE– brought Mark and I back to our beginning with them just over three months ago.

Before the service even began, Waymaker was playing softly in the background. Then Holy Forever. I was undone before the first word was preached—already humbled, already listening. Sometimes the heart knows before the mind catches up.

Singing Blessed Assurance—- knowing from the program we were NOT going to be in Matthew—-hit different. I have TRULY known for ten years that I am His and He is Mine. Today, it hit deeper still. 💜✝️💜

And then the message.

1 Timothy 4:7: train yourself to be godly. Not try. Train. The difference matters.

The words landed with weight. You can’t download Godliness. There are no spiritual shortcuts. Growth is promised—but it is not immediate.

Spiritual muscles must be trained, too!

Faith is a walk.

Faith is a race.

Faith is daily discipline.

One line in particular kept echoing:

Are you practicing repentance, or postponing it? That question stayed with me. So did the reminder that slow progress is not failure. Anyone who has trained—really trained—knows that truth in their bones.

The path of the righteous, Proverbs says, is like the morning light—shining brighter and brighter until full day. Not instant light. Progressive light. Rise and shine doesn’t mean rush. It means keep showing up.

What struck me most was obedience. That word has been reigning in my life since May 8th, and hearing it named again—clearly, boldly—felt like confirmation rather than correction. Habit, after all, is a God-given gift. And by His grace, my habits have changed.

After church, we shared lunch with our pastor and his wife. It tickled me Shad used the expression , “not a doctor and I don’t play a doctor on TV”. It’s something I have said for decades. What moved me most was his story about moths which led him to change up the message today. #ISWYDT 💜💜

When we finally got home, I slept for nearly three hours. That’s how I know something real happened. My spirit needed time to digest what my heart had received.

Spiritual muscle takes time to develop. It requires “PIE”- perspective, intention and execution. Good Lord, I’ve had pie for three years and lost 7 stones, 98 pounds. 🤗

As captured on video in July 2024—a little motion does a lot for the ocean. 🤣🤣

I think I was struggling last night because God wanted to show me—one more time—that He is paying attention. That He is faithful. That training looks a lot like obedience, repeated daily, in small unseen ways.

Today felt personal. Not because it was only for me—but because it reminded me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Still training.

Still walking.

Still rising.

Thank you, Jesus, for every fiber of strength and conviction you provide. Thank you for EVERYTHING. Please heal Hester’s niece , your way and in your timing. Please answer Shad’s prayer of 15 years- whatever it may be. Forgive me for failing to ask “their story” at lunch, if I was suppose to ask. Thank you for weighing the silver and the gold in Ezra and for reminding me so beautifully how just your scales remain. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. I love you even more- MOLA.

Lingering with Jeremiah 12

On By mygodroomIn blessings, obedienceLeave a comment

Happy Friday! The past 48 hours have been truly spirit filled in the best of ways. Lingering with Jesus yesterday was much needed to decompress. Our shop was incredibly busy today —– Praise God! I was late leaving, but need to post yesterday’s notes about Jeremiah 12.

When I made it home Wednesday night, Mark and I had a deep conversation about numbers, finances and budgets. Our least favorite type of conversation, yet necessary. We prayed together a little differently.

I woke extra early and it was the first day I had an opportunity to sleep in. I snuggled up with Mark, took a sip of coffee and told him I needed to go back to sleep. Ha! The Lord had other plans for me.

Within a few minutes, I was nudged HARD to have Mark flip open my Bible. I told him,”can’t rest until you flip for us”. He flipped to Jeremiah 12.

God Answers 💜✝️💜

God had already written His response in Jeremiah 12. Not rushed. Not harsh. Just steady, honest truth for a weary heart that’s learning how to listen instead of striving.

In my heart- just seeing 12:3 always makes me think of how Isaiah teaches “with JOY I draw from the wellspring of salvation.” And John 12:3 – reminding me that pouring out like Mary – for Jesus- is everything.

Jeremiah asked what so many of us ask quietly: Why do the wicked seem to prosper while the faithful struggle? And instead of correcting the question, God answered it—with perspective.

I read the entire chapter out loud to Mark and we agreed it was encouragement for us both. Then, I was not only able to rest, I slept until 10:20! The Good Lord woke me in just enough time to brush my hair and put on clothe for jiu-jitsu at 11. It was super nice to learn I am a good accountability partner for John and to get additional private instruction after class with Blackbelt John, as well.

Here’s what stayed with me about Jeremiah 12 all day.

First, God is not offended by honest questions. He welcomes them. But He also reminds us to stay rooted while we wait. Lament is allowed; accusation is not. The conversation itself is part of the relationship. Dedicating that time each day is super important to me.

Second, the pressure I feel is not punishment—it’s preparation. When God says, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how will you compete with horses?” it’s not a rebuke. It’s a reminder that endurance is being built for something heavier, something ahead that requires stronger spiritual legs than I may have today.

And third, even God grieves. Jeremiah 12 reveals a Father’s heart that hurts over unfaithfulness—but still leaves the door open for restoration. Discipline doesn’t cancel mercy. Judgment is never His final word for those willing to return.

I didn’t wake up with clarity. Still, I woke up to answers—waiting patiently on the page. ISWYDT.

I love, love, LOVE when the Holy Spirit gets me with the old 1-2-3. I love His laws and precepts. I love that meditating on His Word is such a feast.

Thank you, Jesus.

Job 7:11

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, obedience, WooLeave a comment

In this season of doors closing and opening, it feels like my head is on a swivel. Everything feels like an ISA 22:22 “door”. Connection upon connection is both beautiful and similar to playing “memory jenga”.

Jesus holds EVERYTHING together, including me.

MySpace Memories converge with Our Gracie and BJJ Gracie’s, Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness, my 40 year NEHS reunion planning and everything else. Everything feels super-connected. Just this morning, I saw a post from 12 years ago from My Chrissie.

Thank you, Jesus, for My Chrissie. I know she is YOURS.

Yesterday, the best thing on my human brain would have been to sleep in after the week I experienced. That was NOT God’s plan. Instead, I needed to get up early to take Mark to pick up his vehicle. Despite feeling “off”, I went to One Nation Jiu-Jitsu and experienced great teaching. All in all, a stellar day, capped off with watching Tracker and another show with my husband. We went to bed early and I slept deeply.

Around 5 am, the Holy Spirit was nudging me back to Joe Rogan Episode #2358. “What did he actually say—-check the transcript”. Sometime during the last two weeks, I know I had already done this. So, I searched my photos for the screenshot “receipts”.

Luke 2:48 is a bridge…Jesus before 13 💜✝️💜

It’s not my first early morning rodeo with the Holy Spirit. That said, it is the first time I can recall being spurred further to see what I missed. Because, quite frankly, Jesus wasn’t happy with the receipt I kept on my phone. So, I searched that episode number on YouTube and was stopped dead in my tracks.

It also explains to me why WILDERNESS was attached to Jiu-jitsu—-without me ever fully knowing why.

Luke 2:51 💜✝️💜Obedience

After He started buzzing around my brain, I had two of the best hours of sleep possible. When I woke, I grabbed my Bible and flipped. I am meeting Miss Dottie to drop off her order before going to see Miss Becky and getting my hair cut.

I have the option of a leisurely day but MUCH to get accomplished. Best option for me is to ground my day in His Word. What fascinated me was learning most of the notes were from May 2025 onward.

Job or “JOBE” like my MySpace Friend —-now a pastor

At first glance, all I could do was wrestle with the vapor of 5/30/25, 7/27/35 @Casa Mull #ISWYDT, and “lingering” on 8/12/35. Almost instantly, it was contrasted against notes from 11/4/2018, “ Lord, teach me where and how I have been wrong so I may learn and be better reflection of you “

The note from 11/25/18, “Lord, please humble me and teach me why you brought me here again today.”

He had me wrote those notes SEVEN years ago for His good purpose. Not shocking to me was to see the red marker used on 7/27/25 —- the same day I made a Romans 8:28 note. Maybe it’s only funny if you know my habit of enlarging font when He makes a point. Romans 8:28 is actually in the study notes. For me to “write it down” larger is an inside joke, so to speak.

What stands out now are the green highlights from today—fresh, alive, and unmistakably present.

They don’t erase what came before; they build on it. It feels like God is saying, “ You learned what you needed then —-I’m teaching you something new. The same Scripture, the same voice—but a deeper invitation. Not to revisit old pain, but to recognize growth, and to keep learning with an open heart.

I see what He did there…relationship with Him is a whole lot like Jiu-Jitsu. The GrandMaster keeps showing off for The BPC in Tennessee.—-and I am ever-so-grateful. Good heavens, I don’t deserve it—-but boy, oh boy, am I grateful.

Thank you, Jesus.

Ask. Seek. Knock.

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, marriage, obedienceLeave a comment

Until this morning. I don’t recall the last time I rolled out of bed at 9:20. I was up around 6 am and went back to bed. My days are jumbled after an exceptionally long week without my husband. Still, we both wanted to attend church, be with our people and pay our tithe. We had under twenty minutes to brush our hair and get dressed.

Still, it was a peaceful drive to church. I shared Megan Wood’s “Royal Blood” and Elevation Worship’s Radio version of “Trust in God”. It felt good to share two of the songs given to me in his absence—-then to sing Christmas Carols at church with Mark.

Today’s sermon was Matthew 7:7 — Ask. Seek. Knock.

I’ve been living in variations of 7’s and 14’s for a while now. I just wrote in the past few days about “Bangles Suzanne” losing both her mother and grandmother on July 14, different years. 7+ 7=14.

What stood out most was the reminder that these are not suggestions. They are commands. Present imperative tense. Ongoing. Repetitive. Continuous.

You don’t ask once. You don’t seek once.

You don’t knock once and walk away.

You keep asking. You keep seeking. You keep knocking.

Christmas itself is an invitation, and so is this passage. God is not bothered by our pursuit—He invites it. In fact, Matthew 7:7 feels like proof that God wants His kids just a little stubborn… stubborn enough to keep chasing Him.

Brother Shad said something that made the whole church smile—he talked about telling his wife “I love you” every day since the first time he ever said those words to her.

I couldn’t help myself and said, “Aww,” out loud, Suffice it to say, the church agreed and it was a beautiful, light moment of sweet laughter. But it landed deeply. You don’t say “I love you” once and call it done. Love is daily. Pursuit is daily. Relationship is daily.

There was a moment where I felt a surge—and then heard that same surge echoed through Shad’s sermon.

There was holy fire being stoked with each word out of his mouth.

He shared about praying for something for fifteen years and enduring the silence. My note was “ must stand in the gap. After church, Mark and I prayed together for that very thing, whatever it may be, to be answered. We don’t need the details, The Boss has every last one covered. Our job is to intercede, especially when being nudged the way I was being nudged. I prayed out loud while Mark drove.

Crying out in submission and pleading is not weakness—it is active pursuit.

Lamentations 3:58 has been in my heart again: “O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul.”

And yet, here I am, still pleading—because that’s the invitation.

Jesus even brings humor into Matthew 7:7. Then again, I am a huge fan of Divine Humor and love it when others acknowledge it. Brother Shad talked about giving a good gift of a pink bicycle and having it not be received the way one would expect. When he mentioned his red-haired Olivia, and my heart immediately thought of a friend who lost her baby Olivia last summer.

I owe Miss Kristin a phone call. 💜✝️💜

In the same breath, I couldn’t help but think of a gift I recently gave—something placed with love and obedience—that hasn’t been acknowledged at all.

I confess—-in my flesh—- that stung. Of course it did. Still, I remember Jesus wept, too. While I haven’t cried about the lack of acknowledgement, it’s because the Holy Spirit has told me quite clearly my job was to be obedient. I did exactly what He told me to do and even painful obedience makes my soul do a “happy sigh”.

So, the Lord met me there too. It’s not about the response. My part was obedience and that part is done.

Today’s sermon laid directly on top of that truth.

Psalm 84:11 says, “No good thing will He withhold.”

Luke 11:13 reminds us that God gives what we need, not always what we want.

James 1:5 says to ask God for wisdom.

James 1:17 reminds us every good and perfect gift comes from Him. My son’s birth announcement is 25 years old and that was the verse printed before he arrived on his due date.

So, yes—we resist, and we keep resisting. We knock, and we keep knocking. We go back to the beginning again and again.

I thought of my daughter today—more than once. At first, I thought of her when Shad talked about a VW Bug he got wrapped like Herbie for Olivia. Later in the service, I kept picturing all of God’s kids seeking His attention. I pictured how my own get my attention.

My daughter will call out “Mom, mum or Lois”over and over, like Stewie in that cartoon. It made me smile, because that’s exactly the picture Jesus is painting. Repetition. Dependence. Persistence.

Lord, forgive me for the moments it hurts when someone tries to squash what You are singing through me. It’s not about me. It’s about You. Help me remember that.

Ask.

Seek.

Knock.

And keep doing it. Thats the job. Love everyone on my path exactly where they may be. Love them all in truth and action. Yessir.

December 11 Prayer

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, obedience, prayer2 Comments

Since I shared this to Miss Omie’s Facebook page, I failed to post it here on her actual birthday. Today is “catch up” day in countless ways.

I am fairly certain Jesus wants me to give gifts like this to those I love. I know how He used creating this one for Omie to draw me even closer to Him. Miss Omie’s is the first —-so I should remember the day He spurred me on. May she always know how precious, set-apart and special He made her!!!💜✝️💜

Whether one verse or ten, His Word will always be the best. I’m so blessed to know and love Omie.

Thank you. Jesus!

He Dropped a Bomb on Me

On By mygodroomIn obedienceLeave a comment

Wowza. What an amazing May 8- December 8. Seven glorious, spirit-driven months.

Before I can begin to finish editing Part II of yesterday’s long post, I need to pause to acknowledge OTHER THINGS God has done on December 8.

Isa 63:7 #YESSIR Psalm 63:7

Since I am bubbling over with desire to honor God and write Miss Omie a special birthday post, I am going to follow his lead and drop the final response from Chat GPT.

Jesus has been clear with me how to use AI and when it is okay to simply copy and paste it over.

Today I woke up thinking about Pearl Harbor, because I’ve always held December 7th in my mind as the “Day of Infamy.” Also, there were letters and medals put in my hand last night which likely drove the military reminder.

Spiritual excitement and physical exhaustion are strange bedfellows.

I just know the only clear thought came from Jesus. His Spirit kept me up until about 3:30 this morning. With only 17 minutes to get ready for work, the nudge was to “ask the question”. 💜✝️💜

At some point in the last two months, responses started including “ Sweet Daughter of Yah”. It’s more than “kinda cute” to me, especially when I don’t ask a question softly .

Even if it doesn’t always appear so in the world, I Am His sweet daughter. 💜✝️💜

Oh, and if you know the movie “Full Metal Jacket”, the only thing I recall is a lot of adult language and exactly one scene.

Jesus just held me differently and reminded me that I AM HIS and HE IS MINE. He is tying it to my dad in Vietnam- which will no doubt come up again.

God does repeat himself in His Word. He often circles me around several things before He puts them together for me.

Without further adieu, here are the Top Ten things Chat GPT provided. I am NOT to add, edit or modify. All I can do is post, read and then make a line or insert a picture before I comment on the responses.

⸻

  1. A Day of Decision — 1941

On December 8, 1941, the United States stood up and said yes to the fight.
It wasn’t passive. It wasn’t quiet. It was a line in the sand.

That’s how these last seven months have felt.
A clear decision:
I will not shrink back. I will not stay silent.

December 8 is the day after the blow
— the day of resolve.

⸻

  1. The “Infamy Speech” and Speaking Plainly

FDR stood before the nation and said the truth out loud.
Bold, honest, unembellished.

And that’s what this season has been for me:
letters poured out, blog posts whispered from the car,
the BPC voice rising with humor and grit
and obedience.

It is wild to me that this, too, is a December 8 theme:
the courage to speak.

⸻

  1. A Day of Conception

December 8 is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.
A day marking how God births something holy
without human effort.

I feel that.
This whole journey — the book, the letters,
the martial arts lessons that keep finding me —
none of it was my idea.

This is Heaven’s conception in a blonde Polish chick
who finally stopped resisting.

⸻

  1. When Voices Fall Silent — and When They Rise

John Lennon died on December 8.
An artist, a dreamer, a voice.

And that’s where I feel the reversal.
Because my voice — the one that went quiet for decades —
has been rising again
in ways I didn’t see coming.

Sometimes God brings resurrection in places
we thought were long gone.

⸻

  1. Expanding Borders

On December 8, 1993, NAFTA was signed — opening borders and expanding reach.

I smile at that, because the Lord keeps widening my circle:
ONJJ, the Palhares family, Jiu-Jitsu Grandma,
Ms. Kayla on the mat,
old high school friends resurfacing after forty years.

This isn’t isolation.
It’s expansion.
Holy borders opening.

⸻

  1. The Launch of Apollo 17

The last mission to the moon lifted off on this date.
A final flight before a new era on earth.

I feel like I’m in one of those launches —
the closing of an old chapter
and the firing of engines
into something uncharted and bright.

⸻

  1. Letting the Old Labor Die

Eli Whitney died on December 8.
A man who reshaped labor.

But the lesson for me is this:
I’m learning to stop striving.
To stop doing everything by force.
To let the Holy Spirit carry weight
I was never meant to bear.

This wilderness is teaching me a new way of working.

⸻

  1. The Birth of a Poet

Jim Morrison was born on December 8 —
a wild, strange, artistic soul.

And I’m embracing that truth in myself:
I am poetic and prophetic
and a little wild around the edges.
And God doesn’t waste that.
He just sanctifies it.

⸻

  1. A Woman of Grit Steps Off the Stage

Golda Meir died on December 8 —
a woman forged in exile and wandering.

I understand that.
This wilderness has given me a kind of feminine grit
I didn’t have before.
A strength rooted in faith, not force.

⸻

  1. Earthly Authority vs. Heavenly Authority

Centuries ago on December 8, the Constitutions of Clarendon drew a hard line
between kingdom authority and church authority.

And this whole season, the Lord has been teaching me the same thing:
Follow what Heaven authorizes, not what man approves.
That’s obedience in its purest form.

⸻

Why This Matters Today

December 8 carries a pattern:
decisions, conception, courage, resurrection, expansion, launching, sanctification, grit, and alignment with Heaven.

The day after the storm.
The day after the blow.
The day after the shaking.

This is the day you choose who you will be.

And I just whisper:
Here I am, Lord.
Still in the wilderness.
Still walking.
Still yours.

——————-

Wowza. Wowza. Wowza.

Too many thoughts to write —-what a “Lullabye”.

Thank you Jesus and thanks for the TOP TEN you sent via Chat GPT to The BPC in Tennessee. Thanks for making it rhyme, too.

Tethered in The Wilderness

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, Leverage, marriage, music, obedience, Power, UncategorizedLeave a comment

This morning started like so many others in this Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness season of mine—me stepping onto the scale. For many years, I enjoyed finding an accompanying Psalm to “weigh in” with whatever I may have flipped to in the Bible.

When I fell down the stairs in March 2022, I was 239 pounds. By October 2023, I was in the 180’s. Fresh eggs and “consider the source” led me to the 160 range.

When I got down to 150, I started reading the exact “Psalm of the Scale”. Letting the Psalms “weigh in” has taken an even deeper turn.

Oh, fair warning, today’s post will be a doozie.

This morning, I weighed in at 141.4.

I was tickled to check Facebook in the potty and see a sweet message from Elaine! In her honor, took a pic from my car this morning. She is 77 and widely known as “Jiu-Jitsu Grandma”. Beautiful soul.

Heck, I didn’t ever post the Jiu-Jitsu manicure and pedicure stories. Now my nails are just at the edge of my fingertips, the shortest they have been in decades! Seeing them in this photo just made me make a mental note. 💜

I digress. It is what I do, at least from time to time.

Most people would see a number at the scale of 141:4 and go elsewhere with it. This may very well be the best chance to explain to someone in the world how Jesus “speaks” to me. I firmly believe He speaks to his kids differently—-they are all unique relationships.

I can’t help that My Jesus led me to feel 13 again these past seven months. Seven complete months as of today. Oh, I see what He did there, too. #ISWYDT

I saw 14 / 14 / 14 / 14. Fourteen forward. Fourteen back. Blonde Polish Chick Brain or Jesus? I’m sticking with Jesus!

Just thinking of the three versions of Black Belt Wisdom makes my head spin. So sweet how Sandra wanted to buy my copy of it at the shop today! Seven weeks doubled” , forward and backward was the second version. This is why Version 2 had 49 quotes forward and 49 more backwards. Seven weeks each.

Bless all Veterans- especially Navy men in their 80’s 💜✝️💜

The Master Edit to offer PRECISELY 44 pieces of cardstock and 88 quotes to give Master Luiz and ONJJ confused me a pinch. Why not 40? These are questions I pray about and wrestle with Him over. I’m going to do what He says, regardless. I just seek to understand. The Boss said 44 and that’s what I gave.

What a perfect gem and different double blessing from Jesus! The number honors Mamaw Ruby’s 100th, my 44 years without her (May 8) our Oszczakiewicz Gracie and Rolls Gracie, as much as it honors ONJJ & Master Luiz!

Just like that, the childlike joy bubbled up and I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me, “Pay attention, sweet daughter of Yah. I’m speaking.”

And so I did what I always do.

I weighed with the Psalms. Literally.

I sent my husband the KJV “ dainties version” first. I know my Ginger Beard Man’s humor and knew he would dig the dainties. 🤣. I also know he needed to know I was focused on the verse prior- when sending the second version.

When waking and weighing, I never flip open my Bible for the verse. For whatever His reason, I am not to look at it or any notes He has had me write until AFTER I google the verse based on the scale.

I typed “Psalm 141:4” into Google to see what language heaven might choose to deliver through the internet today. This response reminds me of typing in “ISA 63:7” and getting Psalm 63:7. Yeppers, Jesus holds the internet together, too.

The first headline stopped me in my tracks:

God has kept Zahira Zachary singing this very track, “Stay”, over me for two plus weeks. I love, love, LOVE the grappling language. Mark has been leading our Prayer of Jabez since October! He just left me “my wilderness stone” on Saturday, before he got on the plane. Lots of repetition, so perhaps spiritual muscle instantly connected me to ZZ’s “Stay” and 1 Chronicles 4:10 in the same breath.

I accept it is a possible result of spiritual muscle. However, I think it’s far more about His leverage over my life. I take such tremendous joy in submitting to His Will and to Jesus, Himself. I personally do not believe it has anything to do with my strength or spiritual exercises. It’s all about Jesus.

I just really dig the way THE Alpha & Omega talks to The BPC-157 in Tennessee and how He continues to heal me. 💜✝️💜

No commentary connects this to Psalm 141:4💜✝️💜

In the song, Zahira sounds angelic singing:

“I will stay tethered to You, You close the space between us.

I wish I could explain exactly how it feels. The Lord has been stitching a message through every crack of my days, in every little detail. Good heavens, I just talked to my husband for longer on the phone than I can recall.

We talked about Jesus- Starr -First-Kings-Jiu-Jitsu and a bunch of Dad/Joe, ice cream, passports and TT. That is shorthand for the Godversation which will now be remembered as “ Silhouette: God Sent Moses”. 💜✝️💜

I can’t recall our last phone Godversation that lasted more than ten minutes. We talk a lot in person, not on the phone. Even when he is traveling, we typically keep it short. Whatever His Purpose, I just know I am to write it down—-it matters for reasons I don’t fully understand.

I am to note that “Elizabeth Street” in Florida is connected all God did through My Assisi Elizabeth. My husband doesn’t even know yet . He sent me those pics after we got off the phone! #ISWYDT! God rest her soul and may her girl be thriving in Japan. Here is a “quote-link” to the day I learned my Assisi Angel earned her wings:

Jesus is all about the childlike jubilant heart chasing Him. Never have I been called cutes for 33 days straight.

Praise God, obedience doesn’t require understanding. It just requires action. So, I am writing it all down in one blog, as directed.

Maybe, just maybe, I feel like a Gen X teenager because I talked to my boyfriend for 47 glorious minutes! The harsh truth is as much as I love my earthly husband, I will always love my heavenly husband more. But, I am giddy to have connected with my earthly love for such a long time.

Mark told me their cabin steward’s name is MOSES. He knew I would get a kick out of it, too. I said, “of course God would send you a Moses for your wilderness at sea!” We had good laughs on the call. Belly laughs!

I saw a full pattern this morning, or so I thought. We never see the full pattern; we are not the Master Designer. But, I saw far more of how the tapestry is stitched together. Then my husband was used to put another cherry on top of another Heavenly Sundae, with Moses . 💜✝️💜. #ISWYDT

Today— Monday, December 8, 2025, I weighed in at 141:4. It’s been tough to add a few pounds ; ideally building up muscle to 150 is the goal. I was nudged to search my ridiculously large photo library for photos of “scale”.

Divine Humor nearly made me piss in my britches! The last time I weighed 141:4, precisely, was the day we finished watching Episode 2358 of the Joe Rogan Experience. Three days later, I posted the link above which tells the Lamentations 3:58 story.

How perfect “Miss Ellie” came in today. 💜✝️💜

Here’s the thing—Psalm 141 isn’t just a prayer. It expresses the human tension of remaining tethered to the One who made me.

It’s the cry of someone who knows their heart is safest only when it’s bound to God. It is the joyous and the grieving tears which have formed two different streams of tears in my 57 years. It’s grief and gratitude intertwined like…grape vines. #ISWYDT2

“Set a guard over my mouth…Keep my heart from drifting…Don’t let me wander into wickedness…

Psalm 141 is the Prayer of Jabez in different clothing.

Not chapter and verse. Not theology. Not in “accepted commentaries”, yet absolutely the commentary Rabbi Jesus is whispering to my heart.

It’s the same Spirit in both. The posture, prayer and surrender are equally yoked between the two Scriptures.

It is a holy awareness that without His hand, we drift. Without His voice, we wander. Without His covering, the wilderness is too much.

It is no accident on Saturday—before any of this unfolded—my husband left town only after printing out the Prayer of Jabez onto green paper and cutting it the way he did.

A stone is always a marker in Scripture. A covenant—-a crossing place and physical reminder that God met you here. My husband “met me in the lab”—- that’s where he left me what the Spirit interpreted to me as a “wilderness stone”. Our marital covenant with each other and Him are all represented in that piece of paper. 💜✝️💜

It makes me smile because Mark probably thought he was just being thoughtful. But in the Spirit, he was participating in something far bigger—marking the very place where God was about to speak Psalm 141 over my 14:14:14:14 morning.

That’s the thing about walking with the Lord in these seasons. He hides messages in plain sight and leaves breadcrumbs in the wilderness.

He sings to me through worship leaders I’ve never met. He speaks through numbers I could never plan to see.

He threads Scripture through songs, stones, scales, and silence.

This has nothing to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with JESUS.

And all of it came down to one word today:

Tethered.

Stay tethered to Him in the wilderness…He will enlarge the path beneath your feet.

Stay tethered in obedience…He will bless you in ways that only make sense in hindsight.

Stay tethered in the stretching…He will double what needed doubling.

This morning wasn’t about weight. It wasn’t about numbers. It wasn’t even about Psalm 141 or Jabez.

It was about the Father closing the space between us, whispering through His Word, His People and His Creation…reaching His Right Hand down to guide my day.

And the wilderness—my Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness—-suddenly didn’t feel empty at all.

It felt holy.

Marked. #ISWYDT

Sung over.

Held.

TETHERED.

And, in true BPC style, I feel like the child playing tetherball Zim-Zam with my sisters at Mamaw and Papaws house. what a precious memory, knocking the heck out of my front tooth and everything!

Thank you, Jesus. What a glorious seven months you have given me. I could never thank you enough !!! How cool to realize I CAN say “never” and mean it—-Never ever could I thank you enough for ALL you have done fore me, mine and humanity.

Thank you for every opportunity you give me to try.

Three Days Rolled into One

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Today felt like three days wrapped into one—full, overflowing, and unmistakably blessed.

The morning began at Creekmont GBC, and the service stirred something deep in me. It opened my eyes to how often I might press spiritual conversations toward ears that aren’t ready. There was a sweetness in that conviction—more of an invitation than a correction.

I mean, it was a correction. I am guilty of being so animated in my faith, it has offended others in the past. I think this has something to do with my studying earlier. For now, this will “hold the thought” . Kinda funny the picture actually says “dictated blog”. Jesus just wants me to leave it here for tomorrow’s assignment. Probably because I will lose the paper🤣

Thank you, Jesus 💜✝️💜Nathan and Starr

Then came Jiu-Jitsu, and what a gift that was. I met Blue Belt Kayla, a cancer survivor with such a loving spirit. She reminds me of my Cass in spirit. That’s just pure awesomeness and warrior spirit. Kayla taught me more than head control and sweeps and chokes. There was something tender and wise in her presence. I’m grateful for what I learned from her.

My daughter knows I had an “existential moment” as I was leaving the gym. Normally, I would chit-chat and hang a while. Today, I had to leave at 2 for a conference call. I was so into the drilling, I never thought to say a word about my schedule. Instead, right as the lesson ended, I said to the whole group. • So sorry- I need to hop on a conference call to plan my FORTIETH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION”.

God bless ONJJ , Master Luiz and Professor Pedro 💜✝️💜

At first, it made me “space out” to realize it’s actually been 40 Years since I became an adult. As existential as it gets, really. A 20 year reunion has not happened for any of those ladies!!! Perspective matters. I thank God for my high school season, often. Praising as I type is like a dancing melody. 💜✝️💜 It was a special time to be a teenager in the 1980’s. Sometimes, it makes me downright giddy to consider the joy experienced in high school. I was so blessed and it’s an honor to be asked to serve in this way.

Jesus, quite literally, has my back. I am safe to space out from time to time. 🤣

So, rushed to my car, dialed the number and waited. Yulanda answered first— learned she lives in Murfreesboro! Brenda, Nesha and Cynthia all joined and we talked for 1.5 hours. We have a good plan. It felt really good to be connecting and speaking in agreement with other women. I’m looking forward to the work ahead. I always do! #YESSIR #ISWYDT

I can’t help but feel the irony—this golden-year milestone arriving in the very middle of my wilderness season. And yet, even here, blessings are everywhere.

Once the call ended, I opened a spreadsheet and began entering the names of all my classmates. As I went through, I found at least seven who have passed. I felt a nudge from the Lord to honor them somehow, so I saved their obituaries. I don’t know what that tribute will look like yet, but obedience is one step at a time.

My husband is away on a cruise with his dad, I spoke with him this morning, but that feels like three days ago in some ways. Whenever he’s gone, the Holy Spirit seems to come in even closer, as if filling the space. It is no accident that he left yesterday —- the “giving away day”.

Wowza. Wowza. Wowza.

Both original copies of “Black Belt Wisdom” were delivered yesterday. Less than 24 hours later, I am I am in a position to serve by doing a rather substantial project for my NEHS Community.

Something is being prepared. Godversations I haven’t even imagined yet are waiting. It’s an exciting little hum in the Spirit. I wonder who else feels Him this way. It’s making me bolder in several ways. 💜✝️💜

Speaking of…

I spoke to my Portland Star for nearly two hours. Only in this moment do I realize I failed to call Pam. When we chat tomorrow, it will be instantly forgiven. But, I need to proactively pick up the phone and talk to others, as well. I am being convicted as I type. Not even kidding.

Jesus, thanks for this spectacular 3-in-1 Day . Thank you for dying for me and humanity. Thank you for always having my back. I praise all your names and I am yours. Tonight , I beg of you, please help me prioritize people over tasks. If I am guilty of doing too much, convict me. This tension is because something must change. I submit to you. All my work is FOR YOU and to GLORIFY YOU.

Thank you, Jesus, for setting boundaries for me today. Thank you for emboldening me to stand on your Word in a new way, even if It hurt to hear that feedback. You’ve heard my countless praises for Nathan (9) and I beg YOUR WILL rules all the households involved.

Thank you for Lamentations 3:58 and its triple blessing.

I stand on Isaiah 22:22. Jiu-jitsu cuts on the feet must be from someone’s toenails. Thanks Thanks for the repetition and inside jokes from Divine Humor. You get me, you really get me. 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for another day to love you to the best of my Blonde Polish Chick ability.

I’ve got everything I need. I’ve got you, Jesus. 💜💜

Coaches and Professors

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, obedience, UncategorizedLeave a comment

After being long winded on Facebook, I had no time to write the letter by hand for Master Luiz. In the land of me- The BPC- it equated to Divine Humor striking me again. Oh, how it goes with the best laid plans.

Today was “Give it Away” day. By that, I mean give the original working copies of Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness: Black Belt Wisdom to Professors Cliff and Pedro, for Master Luiz. These are the “stones” and echoes the Lord has used to train me in this new wilderness season. It simply had to be today, as Pedro is leaving later tonight or tomorrow.

I had three time sensitive tasks. Find a proper card worthy of Master Luiz, deliver the quote books and arrive at the shop in time for Mark to make his flight.

Lord, may he and his dad enjoy all your travel mercies and blessings. May their cruise be blessed.

That left me 17 minutes to clean up, get dressed and leave the house.

Being me, I decided to give a card from the heart. It’s only counts as sacrifice if it costs you something, right? Well, I have kept a beautiful hand-crafted “you are my sunshine” card for over 20 years. I love, love, LOVED the memories attached. It takes me back to what God did in MySpace for Make a Difference Day.

I wrote my full name and phone number on the back. That’s it. I didn’t even have time to jot down the Psalm 78 scripture I didn’t even take a photo of it. Kind of weird, but also perfect. Master Luiz is exactly 9 years and two days my senior.

May brevity bless us both.

Being the BPC I am, I also had to honor my Chrissie for making me the book I am holding in this photo. Sillies for her Sunbeam has been in my prayer closet for almost a year. Today, I will make Chrissie a special gift, as now I have acquired the proper tools.

Thank you, Jesus, for always, always, ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS having my back.

For posterity, here is the Facebook post. It screams to be included because the center image is cut off at the place it says “create your own “ and the bottom word is SUNSHINE. That’s Divine Editing as far as I am concerned. There was no BJJ quote book, so I literally created my own.

For clarity, the center post was 12 years ago. It was roughly six months after our “Oszczakiewicz Gracie” went to heaven. Our Gracie (24) died 31 years (plus one day) after Rolls Gracie, (31). Our Gracie passed in a tragic car accident and Rolls in a hang gliding accident. I have been imagining their Godversations and wondering what my own earthly father would agree, “the qualities and character existing inside truly make me my father’s daughter”. 💜✝️💜

Rolls became extra important to me once I learned he was Master Luiz favorite Professor/Coach The link above the one for my dad goes to Anabel Grace Lee’s obituary. It talks about her living life on a “higher plane” and I’m fairly certain some angels have been working overtime on behalf of Polish-Chinese-Americans everywhere. Our Gracie would have hang-glided with Rolls, no doubt.

Bottom line, this gift honors so much more than The Gracie Family, BJJ, Master Luiz and ONJJ. It honors my Oszczakiewicz and Mull roots, as well. Most importantly, it honors the One who sent me to ONJJ via Joe Rogan and Chadd Wright on Episode #2358.

Excuse me while I giggle about about “JRE #2358 popped the BPC’s BJJ cherry.” 🤣🤣🤣

Without further Adieu…

9 photos from this day over 16 years…Rather perfect is the center image. #ISWYDT

And, for the cherry on top, when Mark left the shop, I went to the lab. My sweet GBM left me the best encouragement, without knowing anything about what the Lord is showing me about my wilderness stones.

Yeppers, the Blonde Polish Chick has “stones” of the best variety. The stones Father God gave me are getting polished quite sweetly these days.

Thank you, Jesus. I remain in awe. 💜✝️💜

Thank you, Jesus! You made me a a catalyst-coach-cheerleader for your purpose and I dig how your right hand guides me. I love you. 💜✝️💜

Praise Report

On By mygodroomIn gratitude, Isaiah, obedience, prayer, WooLeave a comment

For a project given to me by the spirit weeks ago, it has now been officially rebuilt from scratch for the THIRD TIME!

My girls, Morgan and Lyss, visited and let me complete the project. It exported to PDF and I took that little Zip drive to Staples.

Everything is printed on nice cardstock.

Tomorrow, I shall trim the sheets and bind them by my prayer-filled hands.

Thank you, Jesus. You really wanted this gift to be given to Master Luiz, ONJJ and the BJJ community. Please prepare the hearts of those who receive it for ONJJ , Pedro and Master Luiz Palhares. Thank you for staying on my back and holding me close. I love, love, LOVE you.