Tag: obedience

Three Days Rolled into One

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Today felt like three days wrapped into one—full, overflowing, and unmistakably blessed.

The morning began at Creekmont GBC, and the service stirred something deep in me. It opened my eyes to how often I might press spiritual conversations toward ears that aren’t ready. There was a sweetness in that conviction—more of an invitation than a correction.

I mean, it was a correction. I am guilty of being so animated in my faith, it has offended others in the past. I think this has something to do with my studying earlier. For now, this will “hold the thought” . Kinda funny the picture actually says “dictated blog”. Jesus just wants me to leave it here for tomorrow’s assignment. Probably because I will lose the paper🤣

Thank you, Jesus 💜✝️💜Nathan and Starr

Then came Jiu-Jitsu, and what a gift that was. I met Blue Belt Kayla, a cancer survivor with such a loving spirit. She reminds me of my Cass in spirit. That’s just pure awesomeness and warrior spirit. Kayla taught me more than head control and sweeps and chokes. There was something tender and wise in her presence. I’m grateful for what I learned from her.

My daughter knows I had an “existential moment” as I was leaving the gym. Normally, I would chit-chat and hang a while. Today, I had to leave at 2 for a conference call. I was so into the drilling, I never thought to say a word about my schedule. Instead, right as the lesson ended, I said to the whole group. • So sorry- I need to hop on a conference call to plan my FORTIETH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION”.

God bless ONJJ , Master Luiz and Professor Pedro 💜✝️💜

At first, it made me “space out” to realize it’s actually been 40 Years since I became an adult. As existential as it gets, really. A 20 year reunion has not happened for any of those ladies!!! Perspective matters. I thank God for my high school season, often. Praising as I type is like a dancing melody. 💜✝️💜 It was a special time to be a teenager in the 1980’s. Sometimes, it makes me downright giddy to consider the joy experienced in high school. I was so blessed and it’s an honor to be asked to serve in this way.

Jesus, quite literally, has my back. I am safe to space out from time to time. 🤣

So, rushed to my car, dialed the number and waited. Yulanda answered first— learned she lives in Murfreesboro! Brenda, Nesha and Cynthia all joined and we talked for 1.5 hours. We have a good plan. It felt really good to be connecting and speaking in agreement with other women. I’m looking forward to the work ahead. I always do! #YESSIR #ISWYDT

I can’t help but feel the irony—this golden-year milestone arriving in the very middle of my wilderness season. And yet, even here, blessings are everywhere.

Once the call ended, I opened a spreadsheet and began entering the names of all my classmates. As I went through, I found at least seven who have passed. I felt a nudge from the Lord to honor them somehow, so I saved their obituaries. I don’t know what that tribute will look like yet, but obedience is one step at a time.

My husband is away on a cruise with his dad, I spoke with him this morning, but that feels like three days ago in some ways. Whenever he’s gone, the Holy Spirit seems to come in even closer, as if filling the space. It is no accident that he left yesterday —- the “giving away day”.

Wowza. Wowza. Wowza.

Both original copies of “Black Belt Wisdom” were delivered yesterday. Less than 24 hours later, I am I am in a position to serve by doing a rather substantial project for my NEHS Community.

Something is being prepared. Godversations I haven’t even imagined yet are waiting. It’s an exciting little hum in the Spirit. I wonder who else feels Him this way. It’s making me bolder in several ways. 💜✝️💜

Speaking of…

I spoke to my Portland Star for nearly two hours. Only in this moment do I realize I failed to call Pam. When we chat tomorrow, it will be instantly forgiven. But, I need to proactively pick up the phone and talk to others, as well. I am being convicted as I type. Not even kidding.

Jesus, thanks for this spectacular 3-in-1 Day . Thank you for dying for me and humanity. Thank you for always having my back. I praise all your names and I am yours. Tonight , I beg of you, please help me prioritize people over tasks. If I am guilty of doing too much, convict me. This tension is because something must change. I submit to you. All my work is FOR YOU and to GLORIFY YOU.

Thank you, Jesus, for setting boundaries for me today. Thank you for emboldening me to stand on your Word in a new way, even if It hurt to hear that feedback. You’ve heard my countless praises for Nathan (9) and I beg YOUR WILL rules all the households involved.

Thank you for Lamentations 3:58 and its triple blessing.

I stand on Isaiah 22:22. Jiu-jitsu cuts on the feet must be from someone’s toenails. Thanks Thanks for the repetition and inside jokes from Divine Humor. You get me, you really get me. 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for another day to love you to the best of my Blonde Polish Chick ability.

I’ve got everything I need. I’ve got you, Jesus. 💜💜

Coaches and Professors

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, obedience, UncategorizedLeave a comment

After being long winded on Facebook, I had no time to write the letter by hand for Master Luiz. In the land of me- The BPC- it equated to Divine Humor striking me again. Oh, how it goes with the best laid plans.

Today was “Give it Away” day. By that, I mean give the original working copies of Jiu-Jitsu Wilderness: Black Belt Wisdom to Professors Cliff and Pedro, for Master Luiz. These are the “stones” and echoes the Lord has used to train me in this new wilderness season. It simply had to be today, as Pedro is leaving later tonight or tomorrow.

I had three time sensitive tasks. Find a proper card worthy of Master Luiz, deliver the quote books and arrive at the shop in time for Mark to make his flight.

Lord, may he and his dad enjoy all your travel mercies and blessings. May their cruise be blessed.

That left me 17 minutes to clean up, get dressed and leave the house.

Being me, I decided to give a card from the heart. It’s only counts as sacrifice if it costs you something, right? Well, I have kept a beautiful hand-crafted “you are my sunshine” card for over 20 years. I love, love, LOVED the memories attached. It takes me back to what God did in MySpace for Make a Difference Day.

I wrote my full name and phone number on the back. That’s it. I didn’t even have time to jot down the Psalm 78 scripture I didn’t even take a photo of it. Kind of weird, but also perfect. Master Luiz is exactly 9 years and two days my senior.

May brevity bless us both.

Being the BPC I am, I also had to honor my Chrissie for making me the book I am holding in this photo. Sillies for her Sunbeam has been in my prayer closet for almost a year. Today, I will make Chrissie a special gift, as now I have acquired the proper tools.

Thank you, Jesus, for always, always, ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS having my back.

For posterity, here is the Facebook post. It screams to be included because the center image is cut off at the place it says “create your own “ and the bottom word is SUNSHINE. That’s Divine Editing as far as I am concerned. There was no BJJ quote book, so I literally created my own.

For clarity, the center post was 12 years ago. It was roughly six months after our “Oszczakiewicz Gracie” went to heaven. Our Gracie (24) died 31 years (plus one day) after Rolls Gracie, (31). Our Gracie passed in a tragic car accident and Rolls in a hang gliding accident. I have been imagining their Godversations and wondering what my own earthly father would agree, “the qualities and character existing inside truly make me my father’s daughter”. 💜✝️💜

Rolls became extra important to me once I learned he was Master Luiz favorite Professor/Coach The link above the one for my dad goes to Anabel Grace Lee’s obituary. It talks about her living life on a “higher plane” and I’m fairly certain some angels have been working overtime on behalf of Polish-Chinese-Americans everywhere. Our Gracie would have hang-glided with Rolls, no doubt.

Bottom line, this gift honors so much more than The Gracie Family, BJJ, Master Luiz and ONJJ. It honors my Oszczakiewicz and Mull roots, as well. Most importantly, it honors the One who sent me to ONJJ via Joe Rogan and Chadd Wright on Episode #2358.

Excuse me while I giggle about about “JRE #2358 popped the BPC’s BJJ cherry.” 🤣🤣🤣

Without further Adieu…

9 photos from this day over 16 years…Rather perfect is the center image. #ISWYDT

And, for the cherry on top, when Mark left the shop, I went to the lab. My sweet GBM left me the best encouragement, without knowing anything about what the Lord is showing me about my wilderness stones.

Yeppers, the Blonde Polish Chick has “stones” of the best variety. The stones Father God gave me are getting polished quite sweetly these days.

Thank you, Jesus. I remain in awe. 💜✝️💜

Thank you, Jesus! You made me a a catalyst-coach-cheerleader for your purpose and I dig how your right hand guides me. I love you. 💜✝️💜

Psalm 137:4

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, Leverage, obedienceLeave a comment

137.44 was a really important number yesterday in our business. It stood out immediately and the Lord made it clear enough that I couldn’t ignore it. He nudged me straight to Psalm 137, and specifically verse 4:

“How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?”

And the moment I read that, I felt it. Not sadness—clarity. This wasn’t about sales. It was about assignment, and about how some things in life just quietly shift seasons without making a big dramatic announcement.

Fast-forward to today. I pull into One Nation Jiu-Jitsu, listening to Zahira Zachary singing “Stay” from my iTunes library—already deep in worship, already soft in my spirit—and when my Bluetooth disconnected as I parked, the exact same song was playing on the radio.

If that wasn’t a Godwink, then I don’t even know what qualifies anymore.

Inside the gym it was Q&A day. Tyrone and Matt were there, Geo was teaching as the black belt, and Jaden popped in. Coach Sadie and Coach Sam were around too. I watched them drill getting out of an anaconda and a couple of other tight spots, and then I asked my question about shrimping—the way your hips need to rotate, the angle, the mechanics. And I actually got a great answer. That’s something I need to drill again.

Then came the moment:
“Carol, do you want to roll today?”

And yes, of course I wanted to.
But I told them the truth. My plan is to roll on Sundays and Mondays, take Tuesday through Thursday to heal, and then come on Fridays and just feel it out.

Coach Sam said, “That’s wise.”
Not “wise for 57.”
Just… wise.

Right there, between the Godwink in the car and the confirmation on the mat, Psalm 137 started making sense. It wasn’t God saying, “Stop singing.” It was God saying something else to me.

There are times in life where the Lord lets you hang your harp—not in defeat, but in obedience. Not because the music is over, but because the location of the song is changing.

And then, as I sat with it, He brought me to the very last line in Psalms:

Psalm 150:6 — “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.”

Psalm 137 is the moment the song pauses.
Psalm 150 is the moment the breath returns.

Yesterday felt like Psalm 137.
Today felt like Psalm 150.

Breath.
Clarity.
Rest.
Strength.
Direction.
A new song rising.

And all of it—from the strange sales number, to Zahira Zachary singing in stereo, to the wisdom on the mat—was the Lord saying:

“Daughter, you’re not in the foreign land anymore.
Breathe.
Move wisely.
Walk in the pace I give you.
And let everything that has breath in you—praise Me.”

Exactly the plan as I enter the quotes into a standard format. Thank you, Jesus.

Hey Hey Hey

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I woke up this morning with “Hey, hey, hey!” from Fat Albert in my head. It made no sense at first, but that’s exactly how the Lord works with me. He uses the oddest little threads to pull my attention toward something holy. And of course, once something like that hits my spirit, I can’t let it go. I looked it up and learned that Fat Albert first aired on November 12th of 1969 — and somehow the date, the repetition, the sound of that “hey, hey, hey” settled into me like a breadcrumb trail.

As with any word or message, I search Scripture.

Floodgates!

Hey — ה — the fifth letter. The breath of God. The soft exhale that changes everything. It’s the letter He added to Abram and Sarai when He made them Abraham and Sarah. It’s the letter of grace, revelation, openings, divine breath, the place where God says, “Behold.” The more I sat with it, the more I realized how much He has been teaching me through fives and breath and revelation without me even knowing the structure underneath it.

Hey isn’t just a sound; it’s an invitation. It’s the place where He breathes Himself into a life and names it again.

And I think that’s why it moved me. Because so much of my journey right now feels like one long, loving exhale from the Father — His breath over my bones, His breath over these scriptures He keeps circling me back to, His breath over my remembering. Every time He reminds me of a verse, every time something lines up in a way I can’t explain, every time I whisper “I see what You did there,” it’s hey. It’s His breath.

There are two “Heys” in His Holy Name YHWH. #ISWYDT

The fact that hey is the fifth letter just feels like another God-wink, because He has been speaking to me through fives for so long — grace on grace, breath upon breath, revelation after revelation. It’s the little openings He keeps giving me, the way He keeps showing me things at exactly the right moment. And it all started today with “Hey, hey, hey” echoing in my spirit from a cartoon that aired decades ago. Only God can take something like that and turn it into a doorway.

That’s what hey is for me now — a doorway, a breath, and the quiet reminder that He is always teaching me, always revealing Himself, always drawing my eyes back to Him.

I see what You did there, indeed! Thank you, Jesus!

Prayer to Destroy Pride

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Father God, Thank You for opening my eyes to the Hebrew roots of pride and the Greek words that reveal its many forms. Pride is always the absence of wisdom and the absence of genuine love.

Where pride grows, love shrinks.
Where love shrinks, relationships fracture.
Where relationships fracture, the enemy rejoices.

Only you, Jehovah Rapha, heal the root.

Holy Father Abba in Heaven,
I come to You as Your daughter,
seeking deliverance from every form of pride—
seen and unseen, confessed and unconfessed,
known and hidden.

Lord, Your Word says clearly
“Love does not envy, love does not boast,
love is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
So I ask You now:
Destroy everything in me and in Your daughters
that is not rooted in love.

By the power of Your Spirit,
tear down every high place
where we have lifted ourselves above another.

Strike down the swelling pride of ga’ōn
(Obadiah 1:3; Isaiah 16:6).

Bring low the lifted heart of rūm
(Deuteronomy 8:14; Obadiah 1:4).

Break the stubbornness of zādōn
(Psalm 119:21; Deuteronomy 17:12–13).

Soften the haughty eyes of gāvah
(Proverbs 21:4; Psalm 131:1).

And wash out the sourness of ḥāmatz
(Psalm 73:21 [“my heart was embittered”];
Exodus 12:15 as the leaven-warning tied to pride),
before it spreads into bitterness.

Lord, kill the bitter root.
Kill it completely.
Kill it at the source.
Do not let it grow back.
Do not let it entangle Your daughters
or choke out sisterhood, unity, and peace.

Holy Spirit, lay down a new foundation:
a foundation of humility,
a foundation of gentleness,
a foundation of wisdom from above—
pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason,
full of mercy and good fruit
(James 3:17).

Father, let Your love cast out every fear,
every comparison, every jealousy,
and every wound that pride tries to cover.

In the mighty name of Jesus,
I renounce all pride.
I renounce every bitter root.
I renounce every spirit that brings division.

Plant in me—and in every sister—
a heart that loves like You love,
that listens like You listen,
and that bows like You bowed
when You washed feet.

Let us love more and more by your perfect example.

Make us one, Lord.
Make us whole.
Make us healed.
And let Your Spirit guard our unity
with Your peace.

In the name of Jesus our Deliverer,
Amen.

Mat Three:Observation

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Today was such a beautiful Wednesday. I went to get my hair done and had the sweetest, most meaningful conversation with Becky—my dear friend, my hairdresser, and the pastor’s wife at our church. Every visit with her feels like a little ministry moment—two hearts sharing stories, laughter, and faith.

Today was in particularly different in that I shared my Messianic experience when I learned Becky’s sister and three of her daughters are Messianic.

I didn’t have enough time to warm up and roll at jiu-jitsu today, but I still went and observed. And honestly, it felt like a spiritual experience just to watch. I saw how intention was born on the mat—how every shift of weight, every exchange of energy carried its own story. When partners switched, the entire rhythm changed—body type, flow, and balance transforming the interaction completely.

The loving way they taught and corrected one another reminded me so much of how the Lord disciplines us—not in harshness, but in love. Gently guiding, refining, shaping us through each encounter until strength and grace meet as one.

Even without stepping on the mat, I left feeling deeply connected—part of something living and breathing, a quiet lesson unfolding before me. Sometimes the holiest thing we can do is simply observe, and let His Spirit show us what we might have missed in motion.

Thank you, Jesus! As I wore my ONJJ “Positive Energy Activates Constant Energy” purple Tshirt- I must smile and giggle a pinch as the Blonde Polish Chick I am. The tshirt spells PEACE upside down. I see what you did there. #ISWYDT. I love you.

Not Forrest Gump’s Shrimping

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Today was only my second class at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu. There is much to unpack.

BJJ Technique Focus: Shrimping (Hip Escape)

The shrimp, or hip escape, is one of the first movements every Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu student learns.
From your back, you press one foot into the mat, lift your hips, and slide them sideways while curling onto one shoulder.

The goal is to create space between you and the pressure holding you down. It looks small—but it’s the move that keeps you from being crushed.

I just learned that shrimping is an escape method and scooting can be offensive or defensive option.

Shrimping teaches that survival doesn’t come from strength. It comes from angle, timing, and breath.
You don’t fight pressure head-on; you shift, realign, and make room to breathe.
It’s the language of escape written into the mat.

⸻

📖 Scripture

“You brought me out into a spacious place; You rescued me because You delighted in me.”
— Psalm 18 : 19

⸻

💭 Reflection

When I shrimp, I feel it in my ribs first—breath meets resistance.
Every inch of space feels earned.
And that’s what the Spirit does inside us: He gives us room where the world tries to press us flat.

Sometimes God doesn’t lift the weight immediately.
He teaches us to move under pressure without losing peace, to shift our hips instead of panic, to create a little grace-space before the breakthrough.

The shrimp reminds me that freedom isn’t always dramatic; it’s often quiet, rhythmic, and deliberate.
Each small escape becomes worship in motion—breathing, turning, trusting.

⸻

🕊️ Coach Jesus Says

“When life pins you down, don’t freeze.
Breathe. Turn toward Me.
I’ll show you where the space is.
It’s not running away—it’s moving wisely.”

⸻

✨ Golden Nugget

“He sets my feet in a spacious place.” — Psalm 31 : 8
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” — 2 Corinthians 3 : 17

Shrimping is the gospel in motion—
God teaching us how to make space for grace when the weight of the world presses in.

That’s how it feels today.

Thank you, Jesus. I love you.

First Mat

On By mygodroomIn blessings, gratitude, obedience1 Comment

I went to church this morning without my husband. He wasn’t feeling well, so I told him I would carry him with me in spirit. After church I came home, made us lunch, and told him I was going to attend my very first jiu-jitsu class at One Nation Jiu-Jitsu.

At first he laughed, but later—just before I left—he told me how proud he was of me. Mark knows me well. Praise God.

When I arrived, there were two young students, two others maybe in their late 20s or 30s, and two female instructors, Sam and Sadie. Sadie was wonderful—encouraging, strong, and patient. She’s 38 and told me about “Jiu-Jitsu Grandma Elaine” from Alabama who began training around 62.

I looked her up; what an inspiration!

My training partners, Mushaffa and Lindsay, were amazing. We practiced the closed-guard position, using praying hands to sweep, push to the floor, and transition into a Kimura hold. They helped me every step of the way.

After drills I watched everyone roll and spar. It was fascinating—the flow, the respect, the controlled strength.

At one moment, there were three feet clearly coming from one leg as I watched Sam and Sadie spar. All I could think was about a chord of three strands and Ecclesiastes being brought to life.

I’m sore but so full of gratitude. Thank You, Lord, for the courage to step onto the mat, for new teachers and friends, and for the joy of trying something completely new.

The funniest moment was Sadie telling me Sam had figured I had some type of gymnastics background. I confirmed I could still do cartwheels, as I did for Linda in the Hickory Falls parking lot last night. One of the younger students said she could do a cartwheel, as well. I said, “yes and that’s fantastic …but you are not 57 years old””. She might be 10-11 and said, yes I am 57! 🤣🤣🤣

I went home to rest for a half hour before visiting with my JoJo. What a blessing to listen to good music with good friends and make dinner from cheese, crackers and grapes.

Thank you, Jesus, for every little thing. I love you. I have not written about my girls night out last night—-but it’s blessing has been echoing all day. Thank you for the lovely sisters you have given me. I love you.

Crafty Creekmont

On By mygodroomIn gratitudeLeave a comment

Saturday morning came very early, but the Lord met me before the sun did. I had prayed the night before that I would wake up before my alarm so I wouldn’t disturb my husband, and He did exactly that. Even though we were worn out from moving the shop on Friday — the kind of tired that sinks into your bones — I woke with enough strength, enough peace, and enough joy to step into the day He had prepared.

I slipped out quietly, left the house at 7:15, and arrived early to the women’s conference at our new church. My first one — ever. There was something tender about that, walking into a space I’d never occupied before, with a group of women I’m only beginning to know, yet already sensing God’s gentle stitching at the seams of new community.

Breakfast was sweet fellowship. I sat with Anatha, Hester, Tina, and Becky — each one warm, kind, and gracious in her own way. We talked, we laughed, and there was that familiar peace that only the Spirit can knit between hearts.

Then Anatha shared her testimony and led us in praise. It was raw and beautiful — the kind of sharing that reminds you God is always working, always redeeming, always inviting us deeper.

We did a little craft together — simple, hands-on worship — and it felt good to slow down long enough to create something with my hands. Miss Pam and Randy laser cut all the pieces for us to do this craft.

Father God, thank you for clearing the rubble. I don’t think it’s any coincidence Hurricane Melissa was creating worldly conflict in Jamaica and elsewhere—-reminding me of how I wrestled with Torah teachings which fail to include your spirit this time last year.

#ISWYDT

Afterward, we shared lunch, and the sweetness of that table lingered long after the dishes were cleared.

I even brought leftovers home for my husband — a small thing, but it felt like carrying home a piece of the day, a little offering from the fellowship I’d been welcomed into.

Creekmont Women’s Conference

It was a truly lovely day — quiet, nourishing, gentle in all the ways I needed. I especially appreciated the deeper Godversation with Tina and Anatha. Both now have my phone number.

Arriving home, I succumbed to a wonderful nap “by my stream”. When I woke, we agreed to go spend the last two hours of Jenn’s Twelve Year Tenure with her at the one shop we still own.

Of all the things we could have given Jenn, we gave her our hearts. My husband will be driving the truck with all her belongings to Wisconsin for Jenn in two weeks. I was nudged to give her the craft I made and she was beyond thrilled.

The day was beautiful and blessed. Thank you, Jesus.

7 Stone

On By mygodroomIn obedience, Power, Uncategorized, YHVHLeave a comment

There’s a tenderness in the way the Lord works on us.
He does not rush His miracles.

Each time something new is revealed, it feels like the perfect stone placed to mark my spiritual path. I know He is leading me somewhere new. I catch glimpses and it’s beyond beautiful.

For example, it’s impossible for me to see “Emerald” and Judah together without considering the Wizard of Oz. And , just that thought causes me to remember in the last week or two, writing about OZ in Hebrew.

He peels away stumbling stones, sorrow and shame in more than one way. In the past three years, “7 Stone” have been circumcised by His Hand from my body.

My mom loves British entertainment and my daughter has a thing about calling me “mum” from time to time. I dig the “stone” being 14 pounds.

As of today, I am still down 98 pounds since March 2022. It has been a slow process.

It has never felt like simple “weight loss.” It has felt like holy surgery to remove weight from my body and my heart.

It’s like the Good Lord deep cleaned my entire being. just as much from my heart. Seven stone removed and a new softness restored. This has not been punishment in the least.

Ezekiel saw it:


The LORD meant it — not only for Israel then, but for all of us now, in every season where we find ourselves hardened, tired, or carrying more than we were meant to hold.

I can look back and see where the heaviness began — layers of protection, fear, grief, duty, and old stories that once kept me alive but had begun to weigh me down. And in His kindness, God did not shame me. He simply began removing what no longer belonged to me.

Piece by piece. Pound by pound. Thought by thought. Layer by layer.

This journey has not been about numbers on a scale, but obedience, softness, and freedom.
He has been making room — in my body, in my breath, in my heart — for more light, more love, more life.

I am lighter now, inside and out. Not because I forced change, but because I yielded to the One who knows how to shape hearts and futures. The cutting has been covenant. The softening has been grace. And I am learning to stand here — new, tender, grateful — knowing He is still completing the work He began.

Thank you, Jesus. I sure do love you. 💜✝️💜